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Well at the time I was working as a stock boy at Target on the weekends (with a couple shifts during the week during Christmas when we moved to a 2am start time

Well at the time I was working as a stock boy at Target on the weekends (with a couple shifts during the week during Christmas when we moved to a 2am start time) and warehousing (later junior locksmith) at a door company (Hull Supply in Austin). Currently just a stock boy while I add a second BS onto my useless resume.

airstrike 9y ago
What was your first BS? What prevented you from getting a better degree or going to a better university?
- Avshalom 9y ago
  Physics, minor in math from New Mexico Tech. Money, youthful ignorance (and a desire to get the fuck out of Florida) and an inability to fill out an application probably due to my truck load of self esteem issues (though there is always the possibility that I fail not because I think I'm garbage but because I actually am).
  - godelski 9y ago
    Have you tried applying to engineering jobs? I have a degree in physics (minor in math), and that's what I did (as well as many of my friends). Or tutoring? That can pay pretty well and give you flexible hours. This type of movement is extremely common for physicists. Grad school is also an option, and you don't have to go for physics (which is fairly competitive). I got into a CS program, have a friend doing EE, and know of plenty of people doing ME, AE, CE, etc. People will read "Physics degree" as "smart" or "worked hard". > not because I think I'm garbage but because I actually am Sounds like imposter syndrome. It is extremely common, though I know it is extremely difficult to deal with (coming from personal experience).
    - Avshalom 9y ago
      "inability to fill out an application" No really the last time I filled out an application it took me two months from start to finish and I considered it progress because I wasn't crying by the end of it. January 2017 ish a Prof offered me several research projects, after not responding to him for two weeks I am now hiding from him for the rest of my life. I am absolutely aware that I am on paper qualified for all sorts of shit. That doesn't change the reality that I am emotionally incapable of doing anything with it. Which goes back to my coworkers who are all absolutely capable of better paying jobs but at some point you just stop believing that something else is possible. Then what?
      - Avshalom 9y ago
        Also to push this away from me personally: not only is the % of people with depression increasing but also the mean age at which it affects people is creeping down. When I was a kid it was like 30 now it's like 20. A shit ton of theoretically attainable jobs seem out of reach to even the emotionally healthy. When your 20 and you just want to go to sleep and never wake up: every job seems out of reach and that number is going up. And again I can't stress this enough. Even when healthy many many jobs seem out of reach. Fella 'cross town said he's lookin' for a man To move some old cars around Maybe me and Marie could find a burned-out Van and do a little settlin' down Aw, but I'm just dreamin', I ain't got no ride And the junkyard's a pretty good ways That job's about a half week old besides It'd be gone now anyway
      - godelski 9y ago
        > January 2017 ish a Prof offered me several research projects, after not responding to him for two weeks I am now hiding from him for the rest of my life. Sounds like you might want to message them. Small progress is still progress. Some days you make leaps and bounds, but most days we barely make a step. And that is okay. > I am absolutely aware that I am on paper qualified for all sorts of shit. >> For 30k plus benefits I'd strangle puppies. Anxiety and writing an email sounds better than strangling puppies for a (low wage) living. > That doesn't change the reality that I am emotionally incapable of doing anything with it. Get a therapist. > at some point you just stop believing that something else is possible. Then what? GET A THERAPIST Seriously, if you are at the point where emailing someone is causing you so much anxiety that you are literally sabotaging yourself to work jobs that you are way over qualified for (and thus make you clearly miserable), you need to see someone professional. Because you said it yourself: > I am qualified for all sorts of shit.
  - mywittyname 9y ago
    Hey, I just read through all your replies and I just wanted to say that I sincerely hope you find a way to overcome your obstacles and realize your full potential some time.

airstrike 9y ago

What was your first BS? What prevented you from getting a better degree or going to a better university?

Avshalom 9y ago
Physics, minor in math from New Mexico Tech. Money, youthful ignorance (and a desire to get the fuck out of Florida) and an inability to fill out an application probably due to my truck load of self esteem issues (though there is always the possibility that I fail not because I think I'm garbage but because I actually am).
- godelski 9y ago
  Have you tried applying to engineering jobs? I have a degree in physics (minor in math), and that's what I did (as well as many of my friends). Or tutoring? That can pay pretty well and give you flexible hours. This type of movement is extremely common for physicists. Grad school is also an option, and you don't have to go for physics (which is fairly competitive). I got into a CS program, have a friend doing EE, and know of plenty of people doing ME, AE, CE, etc. People will read "Physics degree" as "smart" or "worked hard". > not because I think I'm garbage but because I actually am Sounds like imposter syndrome. It is extremely common, though I know it is extremely difficult to deal with (coming from personal experience).
  - Avshalom 9y ago
    "inability to fill out an application" No really the last time I filled out an application it took me two months from start to finish and I considered it progress because I wasn't crying by the end of it. January 2017 ish a Prof offered me several research projects, after not responding to him for two weeks I am now hiding from him for the rest of my life. I am absolutely aware that I am on paper qualified for all sorts of shit. That doesn't change the reality that I am emotionally incapable of doing anything with it. Which goes back to my coworkers who are all absolutely capable of better paying jobs but at some point you just stop believing that something else is possible. Then what?
    - Avshalom 9y ago
      Also to push this away from me personally: not only is the % of people with depression increasing but also the mean age at which it affects people is creeping down. When I was a kid it was like 30 now it's like 20. A shit ton of theoretically attainable jobs seem out of reach to even the emotionally healthy. When your 20 and you just want to go to sleep and never wake up: every job seems out of reach and that number is going up. And again I can't stress this enough. Even when healthy many many jobs seem out of reach. Fella 'cross town said he's lookin' for a man To move some old cars around Maybe me and Marie could find a burned-out Van and do a little settlin' down Aw, but I'm just dreamin', I ain't got no ride And the junkyard's a pretty good ways That job's about a half week old besides It'd be gone now anyway
    - godelski 9y ago
      > January 2017 ish a Prof offered me several research projects, after not responding to him for two weeks I am now hiding from him for the rest of my life. Sounds like you might want to message them. Small progress is still progress. Some days you make leaps and bounds, but most days we barely make a step. And that is okay. > I am absolutely aware that I am on paper qualified for all sorts of shit. >> For 30k plus benefits I'd strangle puppies. Anxiety and writing an email sounds better than strangling puppies for a (low wage) living. > That doesn't change the reality that I am emotionally incapable of doing anything with it. Get a therapist. > at some point you just stop believing that something else is possible. Then what? GET A THERAPIST Seriously, if you are at the point where emailing someone is causing you so much anxiety that you are literally sabotaging yourself to work jobs that you are way over qualified for (and thus make you clearly miserable), you need to see someone professional. Because you said it yourself: > I am qualified for all sorts of shit.
- mywittyname 9y ago
  Hey, I just read through all your replies and I just wanted to say that I sincerely hope you find a way to overcome your obstacles and realize your full potential some time.