5 ms·

I'm surprised nobody is considering a family unit consisting of three equal (adult) partners rather than the standard two-adult nuclear family. Two workers and

I'm surprised nobody is considering a family unit consisting of three equal (adult) partners rather than the standard two-adult nuclear family. Two workers and one homemaker could cover all the bills and allow for the care of the home and children. Given the financial circumstances many Americans are living in, I can't imagine nobody's thought of it.

tobyhinloopen 9y ago
Are you suggesting 3-person “marriage”? Polygamy? That is evil! Only the devil marries multiple people! /s Ill ask my GF if I can look for a 2nd (working) lady to cover some financial issues
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- test6554 9y ago
  Yes, but obviously not legally married as that is not currently possible.
  - logfromblammo 9y ago
    In which case the obvious solution is to incorporate the family and write the articles and by-laws like a pre-nup. Some use of the civil marriage system might also be required to realize a subset of the benefits enjoyed by traditional marriage partners.
- bawigga 9y ago
  If we don't hear back from you in 2 days, we'll send help!
woolvalley 9y ago
It's the room mate problem. That arrangement is usually 2 adults & grandma, which creates an entire new bunch of problems. The other alternative is to have someone live rent free in exchange for doing the household chores, also known as a live in maid. That is like living with a room mate as a couple, not the most fun. You used to be able to live on one income in america with just a high school education and buying a house in your early 20s. Not so much anymore.
- test6554 9y ago
  I'm not talking about a platonic relationship. I'm talking about a family with 3 equal intimate partners. It's clearly not for everyone, but there is a massive financial advantage for those who could live like that.
  - crooked-v 9y ago
    Relationships are already hard enough to maintain with two people.
    - test6554 9y ago
      I'm not saying people should rush to do this even if they aren't comfortable with it. I'm saying that whoever is comfortable with it will have a huge financial advantage over a struggling two adult family.
      - mooreds 9y ago
        This reminds me of the 'line marriage' from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moon_Is_a_Harsh_Mistress https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moon_Is_a_Harsh_Mistress Have wondered if there is an economically and romantically viable successor to modern marriage. I can tell you as a participant in a two person marriage that I'm not sure it would work for me, but can imagine the benefits.
  - moate 9y ago
    So polygamy? People have thought about it. It's uncommon because it involves deeply involved and complex relationships with 2 people, when many people can barely handle that with one (see: the divorce rates around the world).
    - freeflight 9y ago
      > see: the divorce rates around the world That could just as well be evidence for formal marriage not being easily sustainable. A formal marriage comes with its own pros and cons compared to other relationship types, as such I don't think you can use divorce numbers as evidence for intimate relationships being difficult in general. The rise in divorce rates and the decrease in marriages could just as well be interpreted as formal marriage being perceived as too difficult of a relationship type to sustain, so people are increasingly opting for alternative types instead.
egypturnash 9y ago
When I was in a poly triad the numbers worked pretty well. No kids made it even more affordable; we were free to have one person do part-time stuff in the field they wanted to be in rather than the one they ended up in.
nostromo 9y ago
No need for polyamory... in many parts of the world extended families live together for the exact benefits you mention. (For example, grandparents can watch the kids while the parents are working.) I think a number of our problems in America could be resolved if we had less social atomization.
SketchySeaBeast 9y ago
Things were more affordable 50 years ago when there was a single parent working, then the precedent shifted to two parents and the cost of living adjusted accordingly. I don't see any reason that that wouldn't happen again in this case - to keep up you'd need to steadily increase the number of workers until you're an ant colony.
castlecrasher2 9y ago
You're surprised polyamory isn't more widely accepted by a nation that until only very recently defined marriage as strictly between a man and a woman? And even when that changed, still only between two individuals?
refurb 9y ago
Right, and then the same thing would happen when households went from one income earner to two, households have more money to spend on housing, so housing prices go up. Right back in the same place you were.
logfromblammo 9y ago
Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress had a few different concepts for non-traditional marriages. The protagonist's arrangement was a "line marriage", wherein the family partnership would marry in younger people at regular intervals to maintain approximate male-female parity and to keep property continuity as the older partners died off. At one point in the book, it was considered a big deal when an adult child of an older couple in the line marriage married back into it as a spouse. There was also a "group marriage" which sounded a bit like everyone in your high school graduating class marrying each other, or like a cross between a marriage and a tontine. In case of divorce, the remaining spouses would keep all the real property and the separating spouse would be paid off with cash. But divorce required unanimous approval, either of all the other spouses or all the spouses of the opposite sex, depending on how the thing was originally set up.
clairity 9y ago
intriguing, as others have pointed out, a variation of that is extended families living together or nearby. many cultures have this built into their housing, e.g., chinese siheyuan or roman domus. these courtyard houses can accommodate such arrangements without literally living with each other. you can even stack them and share the courtyard among multiple families (one on each side of the courtyard), for denser neighborhoods.

tobyhinloopen 9y ago

Are you suggesting 3-person “marriage”? Polygamy? That is evil! Only the devil marries multiple people! /s Ill ask my GF if I can look for a 2nd (working) lady to cover some financial issues

deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
test6554 9y ago
Yes, but obviously not legally married as that is not currently possible.
- logfromblammo 9y ago
  In which case the obvious solution is to incorporate the family and write the articles and by-laws like a pre-nup. Some use of the civil marriage system might also be required to realize a subset of the benefits enjoyed by traditional marriage partners.
bawigga 9y ago
If we don't hear back from you in 2 days, we'll send help!

woolvalley 9y ago

It's the room mate problem. That arrangement is usually 2 adults & grandma, which creates an entire new bunch of problems. The other alternative is to have someone live rent free in exchange for doing the household chores, also known as a live in maid. That is like living with a room mate as a couple, not the most fun. You used to be able to live on one income in america with just a high school education and buying a house in your early 20s. Not so much anymore.

test6554 9y ago
I'm not talking about a platonic relationship. I'm talking about a family with 3 equal intimate partners. It's clearly not for everyone, but there is a massive financial advantage for those who could live like that.
- crooked-v 9y ago
  Relationships are already hard enough to maintain with two people.
  - test6554 9y ago
    I'm not saying people should rush to do this even if they aren't comfortable with it. I'm saying that whoever is comfortable with it will have a huge financial advantage over a struggling two adult family.
    - mooreds 9y ago
      This reminds me of the 'line marriage' from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moon_Is_a_Harsh_Mistress https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moon_Is_a_Harsh_Mistress Have wondered if there is an economically and romantically viable successor to modern marriage. I can tell you as a participant in a two person marriage that I'm not sure it would work for me, but can imagine the benefits.
- moate 9y ago
  So polygamy? People have thought about it. It's uncommon because it involves deeply involved and complex relationships with 2 people, when many people can barely handle that with one (see: the divorce rates around the world).
  - freeflight 9y ago
    > see: the divorce rates around the world That could just as well be evidence for formal marriage not being easily sustainable. A formal marriage comes with its own pros and cons compared to other relationship types, as such I don't think you can use divorce numbers as evidence for intimate relationships being difficult in general. The rise in divorce rates and the decrease in marriages could just as well be interpreted as formal marriage being perceived as too difficult of a relationship type to sustain, so people are increasingly opting for alternative types instead.

egypturnash 9y ago

When I was in a poly triad the numbers worked pretty well. No kids made it even more affordable; we were free to have one person do part-time stuff in the field they wanted to be in rather than the one they ended up in.

nostromo 9y ago

No need for polyamory... in many parts of the world extended families live together for the exact benefits you mention. (For example, grandparents can watch the kids while the parents are working.) I think a number of our problems in America could be resolved if we had less social atomization.

SketchySeaBeast 9y ago

Things were more affordable 50 years ago when there was a single parent working, then the precedent shifted to two parents and the cost of living adjusted accordingly. I don't see any reason that that wouldn't happen again in this case - to keep up you'd need to steadily increase the number of workers until you're an ant colony.

castlecrasher2 9y ago

You're surprised polyamory isn't more widely accepted by a nation that until only very recently defined marriage as strictly between a man and a woman? And even when that changed, still only between two individuals?

refurb 9y ago

Right, and then the same thing would happen when households went from one income earner to two, households have more money to spend on housing, so housing prices go up. Right back in the same place you were.

logfromblammo 9y ago

Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress had a few different concepts for non-traditional marriages. The protagonist's arrangement was a "line marriage", wherein the family partnership would marry in younger people at regular intervals to maintain approximate male-female parity and to keep property continuity as the older partners died off. At one point in the book, it was considered a big deal when an adult child of an older couple in the line marriage married back into it as a spouse. There was also a "group marriage" which sounded a bit like everyone in your high school graduating class marrying each other, or like a cross between a marriage and a tontine. In case of divorce, the remaining spouses would keep all the real property and the separating spouse would be paid off with cash. But divorce required unanimous approval, either of all the other spouses or all the spouses of the opposite sex, depending on how the thing was originally set up.

clairity 9y ago

intriguing, as others have pointed out, a variation of that is extended families living together or nearby. many cultures have this built into their housing, e.g., chinese siheyuan or roman domus. these courtyard houses can accommodate such arrangements without literally living with each other. you can even stack them and share the courtyard among multiple families (one on each side of the courtyard), for denser neighborhoods.