4 ms·

The story is backwards, the cops acted unprofessionally and disrespectfully from the very start, which can only ever cause escalation of hostilities. Hiding you

The story is backwards, the cops acted unprofessionally and disrespectfully from the very start, which can only ever cause escalation of hostilities. Hiding your vitriol behind flowery words does not change the intention or the disrespect which is expressed to his subject. His victim is aware of his disrespect, and so are "you" so don't pretend you aren't. When you are a witness to verbal abuse, if the abuser disguises his abusive language using strategically chosen vocabulary, you are _obligated_ as a witness to recognize the abusive treatment. If you participate in the scene by defending the abuser, pretending that you can't see the disrespect in their choice of words, then you share in their guilt for contributing to the social rot of our culture. That's not a statement of judgement towards anyone, but rather a recognition of our basic social obligations.

threatofrain 8y ago
I think the officers are right in saying that the legal details aren't her affairs -- unless she wants to make them hers by asking the (adult) kids what happened.
- rrauenza 8y ago
  I kind of feel he wouldn't tell her because of the way she approached him initially, and then had to stick to his guns, so to speak. He even kind of admits it later. That's not meant to be a criticism - just a description of what happened. I think his guard went up based on her initial approach.
  - deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
FroshKiller 8y ago
I'm probably one of the most anti-cop people on Hacker News, and buddy, you have it wrong. Even I can't find much objectionable about how these police officers handled the situation.
- originalsimba 8y ago
  I could only stand to watch about a minute of the video, but the two things which stand out the most are the cop calling the lady "Miss" even after she corrected him, in an intentional display of disrespect toward her. The second big red flag is that he refused to answer her question. She asked why they were pulled over. He refused repeatedly to answer, and told her to ask the driver of the vehicle. Then he told her to check public records. These people are paid to _serve_ us, not to belittle us and make our lives hell. "SERVE" is not a mistake of vocabulary, it's an intentionally chosen word to describe the relationship which police are _required_ to maintain with the citizens of their jurisdictions. The behaviors the cop displays are literally "anti-social", in the clinical sense, and people who are "anti-social" cannot be trusted with positions of authority in our communities. Was the lady wrong to attempt to abuse her position? Sure. But the cops were wrong for the same things that cops are _ALWAYS_ wrong for. They're control freaks, they're selfish and self-centered, they diminish other people to empower themselves. The quoted obscenity in the headline is a response to the officer saying "You make take them now", is it any surprise this set her off? He's bossing her around like he's her father, but he's just some nobody making $25k/yr pretending to be something he is not, a hero. Here's the only thing that matters, the lady is an upset private citizen. Her behavior is understandable, considering the circumstances. The cop has no excuse for his behavior. Everything else is frankly window dressing.
  - jlg23 8y ago
    > But the cops were wrong for the same things that cops are _ALWAYS_ wrong for. They're control freaks, they're selfish and self-centered, they diminish other people to empower themselves. The quoted obscenity in the headline is a response to the officer saying "You make take them now", is it any surprise this set her off? Yes, there are idiots who, when given a uniform are "hard" to deal with... But in this situation (all over, she is there basically as a taxi driver) I can only say that I would have been much more blunt with her. You say they are there to "serve us" and I actually mean that: The "us" is better served if they don't engage in pointless discussions but do their actual job instead. > He's just some nobody making $25k/yr He might be making only 25k but he is also making a difference. Do you?
jlg23 8y ago
Where was the "disrespectful" behaviour?
- originalsimba 8y ago
  answered above
_tomasz 8y ago
The officers handled themselves very professionally. This was a legal traffic stop, the driver was issued a citation for having expired registration. Any legal matter between the driver and the city of Tenafly is between the two parties and other than whatever legal requirements for disclosure are in place for reporting the traffic stop, the mother of the adult has no business involving herself.
- rrauenza 8y ago
  He probably also knew if he told her the citation, she'd just argue it... it would prolong the argument longer.

threatofrain 8y ago

I think the officers are right in saying that the legal details aren't her affairs -- unless she wants to make them hers by asking the (adult) kids what happened.

rrauenza 8y ago
I kind of feel he wouldn't tell her because of the way she approached him initially, and then had to stick to his guns, so to speak. He even kind of admits it later. That's not meant to be a criticism - just a description of what happened. I think his guard went up based on her initial approach.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]

FroshKiller 8y ago

I'm probably one of the most anti-cop people on Hacker News, and buddy, you have it wrong. Even I can't find much objectionable about how these police officers handled the situation.

originalsimba 8y ago
I could only stand to watch about a minute of the video, but the two things which stand out the most are the cop calling the lady "Miss" even after she corrected him, in an intentional display of disrespect toward her. The second big red flag is that he refused to answer her question. She asked why they were pulled over. He refused repeatedly to answer, and told her to ask the driver of the vehicle. Then he told her to check public records. These people are paid to _serve_ us, not to belittle us and make our lives hell. "SERVE" is not a mistake of vocabulary, it's an intentionally chosen word to describe the relationship which police are _required_ to maintain with the citizens of their jurisdictions. The behaviors the cop displays are literally "anti-social", in the clinical sense, and people who are "anti-social" cannot be trusted with positions of authority in our communities. Was the lady wrong to attempt to abuse her position? Sure. But the cops were wrong for the same things that cops are _ALWAYS_ wrong for. They're control freaks, they're selfish and self-centered, they diminish other people to empower themselves. The quoted obscenity in the headline is a response to the officer saying "You make take them now", is it any surprise this set her off? He's bossing her around like he's her father, but he's just some nobody making $25k/yr pretending to be something he is not, a hero. Here's the only thing that matters, the lady is an upset private citizen. Her behavior is understandable, considering the circumstances. The cop has no excuse for his behavior. Everything else is frankly window dressing.
- jlg23 8y ago
  > But the cops were wrong for the same things that cops are _ALWAYS_ wrong for. They're control freaks, they're selfish and self-centered, they diminish other people to empower themselves. The quoted obscenity in the headline is a response to the officer saying "You make take them now", is it any surprise this set her off? Yes, there are idiots who, when given a uniform are "hard" to deal with... But in this situation (all over, she is there basically as a taxi driver) I can only say that I would have been much more blunt with her. You say they are there to "serve us" and I actually mean that: The "us" is better served if they don't engage in pointless discussions but do their actual job instead. > He's just some nobody making $25k/yr He might be making only 25k but he is also making a difference. Do you?

jlg23 8y ago

Where was the "disrespectful" behaviour?

originalsimba 8y ago
answered above

_tomasz 8y ago

The officers handled themselves very professionally. This was a legal traffic stop, the driver was issued a citation for having expired registration. Any legal matter between the driver and the city of Tenafly is between the two parties and other than whatever legal requirements for disclosure are in place for reporting the traffic stop, the mother of the adult has no business involving herself.

rrauenza 8y ago
He probably also knew if he told her the citation, she'd just argue it... it would prolong the argument longer.