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> Beyond their shared frustration with not having sex, the incel community is not monolithic. Many of them are simply sad and lonely men, suffering from extreme

> Beyond their shared frustration with not having sex, the incel community is not monolithic. Many of them are simply sad and lonely men, suffering from extreme social anxiety or deep depression. Seems like most extremist communities can be described similarly. You have people in a very bad place, and then you expose them to an ideology where they're part of the "in" group instead of feeling like an outsider, effectively forming a social connection but in a profoundly negative way. I think we, as a species, have always benefited from being part of a small community, be it a village, religion, or social club. Seems like large urban settings are socially isolating people, even if they're technically surrounded by people. When I found myself in a similar place in my life, I found a community in WoW (as many others have), that too is unhealthy just to a lower degree.

LyndsySimon 9y ago
> When I found myself in a similar place in my life, I found a community in WoW (as many others have), that too is unhealthy just to a lower degree. Ditto, though mine was due to depression and my subsequent withdrawal from pretty much everything else around me. I immersed myself in EverQuest and it quickly got to the point where I feel like it "ate my life".
jbob2000 9y ago
I feel like this is a little different, though. Social dynamics in the West are shifting. In the past, men had a fairly good understanding of how to approach and date women, but nowadays, its not so cut and dry. I'm not arguing that we need to regress to the 1950s, part of this transition is getting rid of the awful treatment of women, but the rapid social change is leaving some people out in the cold. There is a lesser movement that might be under the umbrella of Incel called MGTOW (Men going their own way). It rejects matrimony, seeing it as wholly beneficial to women, and pushes men to create independence from women. These movements are a response by men who are lost in the murky waters of social change. On the one hand, MGTOW is saying "fuck it, we don't want to deal with you", whereas Incels are saying "fuck you, deal with me".

LyndsySimon 9y ago

> When I found myself in a similar place in my life, I found a community in WoW (as many others have), that too is unhealthy just to a lower degree. Ditto, though mine was due to depression and my subsequent withdrawal from pretty much everything else around me. I immersed myself in EverQuest and it quickly got to the point where I feel like it "ate my life".

jbob2000 9y ago

I feel like this is a little different, though. Social dynamics in the West are shifting. In the past, men had a fairly good understanding of how to approach and date women, but nowadays, its not so cut and dry. I'm not arguing that we need to regress to the 1950s, part of this transition is getting rid of the awful treatment of women, but the rapid social change is leaving some people out in the cold. There is a lesser movement that might be under the umbrella of Incel called MGTOW (Men going their own way). It rejects matrimony, seeing it as wholly beneficial to women, and pushes men to create independence from women. These movements are a response by men who are lost in the murky waters of social change. On the one hand, MGTOW is saying "fuck it, we don't want to deal with you", whereas Incels are saying "fuck you, deal with me".