4 ms·

I just got a Pixel the other day after being phone-less for about 3 months. I only need it to do ARCore development, so I keep it powered-off. * I had to print

I just got a Pixel the other day after being phone-less for about 3 months. I only need it to do ARCore development, so I keep it powered-off. * I had to print out directions to get to new places, which had me learn my way around. * People were much less flaky since they couldn't text me at the last minute to cancel our plans. * I no longer had a crutch in difficult social situations, which helped me actually get to know strangers and form new relationships. I might still use it as a GPS when traveling, but I otherwise can't see why it's necessary for people/machines to be able to steal your attention at a moment's notice. Of course, this isn't do-able for a lot of people, as their work/life depends on it. And it's possible to reap the above benefits without going fully phone-less. But for those interested, it's not as bad as it seems to drop the phone altogether.

komali2 9y ago
I respect what you're doing, but I noticed it's the friends like you (off Facebook, never answers texts) that stopped getting invited to stuff. Scenario 1: housewarming party 3 weeks away. My phoneless friend doesn't get the Facebook invite used to corrall the other 30 people coming. She also doesn't get the group FB message (nobody uses group SMS anymore in my friend group). A fluke of busyness means I don't see her for those 3 weeks and she thus misses the party. Scenario 2: my roommate and I just got home from work, and decide to go out. We text phoneless friend and other friend. Other friend shows up. Three hours later we close our tabs, and get a text from phoneless friend. "I just saw this!! Are you guys still out??" It's a core value of mine that people should be allowed to live however the hell they very well please as long as it doesn't hurt others, but I genuinely feel like without a minimum level of connectedness (at the very least relatively easy access via SMS), they're kinda hurting themselves. As close as a friend as they may be, if the barrier to entry to hanging out with them is providing them step by step directions to the bar we're at as well as making sure all plans are 48 hours ahead and by the way I have to trade voicemails to even inform them... Eeeh... Standard replies to this kind of post: >If lack of connectedness is an obstacle to people hanging out with you, they weren't worth your time / that good of friends anyway. I counter with the idea mass culture movements require participation to, well, participate. My bestest friend ever doesn't have to participate to remain in that state, sure, but I guess if all you want in life is a tiny circle of three of your besties then power to you. > People were more genuine and less flaky before cellphones I lived before and after cellphones and in my experience, people were just as flaky back then, it just didn't seem that way because we were all hanging out less. Either way, cut flaky people out o your life homey. It's not as big of a deal to flake out of impromptu Wednesday trivia night at a random bar, only possible at the drop of the hat as my friends like to do, with cellphones. It also allows us to avoid the "fuck I don't wanna be here, normally I do but today was exhausting" aspect of cyclical plans (say regular DND night) because we can all communicate those feelings early and quickly make new plans with the smaller group.
- ReverseCold 9y ago
  I'm having the weird experience of being the first grade level through a new high school. One nice thing about that is there's no one older than us already using Facebook. Everything that needs to be organized is done through email, which is boring to some, but at least everyone has it. At the start of the school year I got a few friends to switch over to Telegram (for group chats). I would have prefered something end to end encrypted and decentralized, but at least it's not Facebook Messenger. Some people do use Instagram (Facebook-for-Pictures) and Snapchat, but it's not anywhere near universal. So I'm set on my phone with only my self hosted email and Telegram. Not sure how I'm going to deal with things after school, but hopefully people switch off Facebook by then.
- Frondo 9y ago
  Agreed, 100%, on live and let live. I'll never force anyone to get a phone, smartphone, use texts, or whatever, but for the people who are that disconnected, well, they add a friction to social interaction that ends up excluding them. At the end of the day they're outside my own set of social norms, which now, in 2018, include "must be relatively easy to connect with". Times have changed.
- softawre 9y ago
  Agree on all of your points. I am a hermit that deleted FB and only responds to a few people via text. It's a decision I made that I'm still currently happy with. If something were to happen to my existing core friends though, it might be a pain finding new ones.
- prophesi 9y ago
  Sure, it requires more effort to stay connected. Like I said, I know a lot of people need their phone/FB for their day-to-day business. But it can be done without you ending up as a recluse. I didn't drop off the map with my friends, and I made a few friends that I otherwise never would have met. I still had a PC, so it's not like I couldn't be contacted. Most people that I hang out with use Discord/Telegram, anyways. If your friends all use SMS/MMS/FB to communicate, then you probably can't do it. I think the key is to make it clear that you -do- want to be invited to things. People will let you know. It's also a plus to be a fun person to hang out with, and don't talk about how great it is to not have a phone.

komali2 9y ago

I respect what you're doing, but I noticed it's the friends like you (off Facebook, never answers texts) that stopped getting invited to stuff. Scenario 1: housewarming party 3 weeks away. My phoneless friend doesn't get the Facebook invite used to corrall the other 30 people coming. She also doesn't get the group FB message (nobody uses group SMS anymore in my friend group). A fluke of busyness means I don't see her for those 3 weeks and she thus misses the party. Scenario 2: my roommate and I just got home from work, and decide to go out. We text phoneless friend and other friend. Other friend shows up. Three hours later we close our tabs, and get a text from phoneless friend. "I just saw this!! Are you guys still out??" It's a core value of mine that people should be allowed to live however the hell they very well please as long as it doesn't hurt others, but I genuinely feel like without a minimum level of connectedness (at the very least relatively easy access via SMS), they're kinda hurting themselves. As close as a friend as they may be, if the barrier to entry to hanging out with them is providing them step by step directions to the bar we're at as well as making sure all plans are 48 hours ahead and by the way I have to trade voicemails to even inform them... Eeeh... Standard replies to this kind of post: >If lack of connectedness is an obstacle to people hanging out with you, they weren't worth your time / that good of friends anyway. I counter with the idea mass culture movements require participation to, well, participate. My bestest friend ever doesn't have to participate to remain in that state, sure, but I guess if all you want in life is a tiny circle of three of your besties then power to you. > People were more genuine and less flaky before cellphones I lived before and after cellphones and in my experience, people were just as flaky back then, it just didn't seem that way because we were all hanging out less. Either way, cut flaky people out o your life homey. It's not as big of a deal to flake out of impromptu Wednesday trivia night at a random bar, only possible at the drop of the hat as my friends like to do, with cellphones. It also allows us to avoid the "fuck I don't wanna be here, normally I do but today was exhausting" aspect of cyclical plans (say regular DND night) because we can all communicate those feelings early and quickly make new plans with the smaller group.

ReverseCold 9y ago
I'm having the weird experience of being the first grade level through a new high school. One nice thing about that is there's no one older than us already using Facebook. Everything that needs to be organized is done through email, which is boring to some, but at least everyone has it. At the start of the school year I got a few friends to switch over to Telegram (for group chats). I would have prefered something end to end encrypted and decentralized, but at least it's not Facebook Messenger. Some people do use Instagram (Facebook-for-Pictures) and Snapchat, but it's not anywhere near universal. So I'm set on my phone with only my self hosted email and Telegram. Not sure how I'm going to deal with things after school, but hopefully people switch off Facebook by then.
Frondo 9y ago
Agreed, 100%, on live and let live. I'll never force anyone to get a phone, smartphone, use texts, or whatever, but for the people who are that disconnected, well, they add a friction to social interaction that ends up excluding them. At the end of the day they're outside my own set of social norms, which now, in 2018, include "must be relatively easy to connect with". Times have changed.
softawre 9y ago
Agree on all of your points. I am a hermit that deleted FB and only responds to a few people via text. It's a decision I made that I'm still currently happy with. If something were to happen to my existing core friends though, it might be a pain finding new ones.
prophesi 9y ago
Sure, it requires more effort to stay connected. Like I said, I know a lot of people need their phone/FB for their day-to-day business. But it can be done without you ending up as a recluse. I didn't drop off the map with my friends, and I made a few friends that I otherwise never would have met. I still had a PC, so it's not like I couldn't be contacted. Most people that I hang out with use Discord/Telegram, anyways. If your friends all use SMS/MMS/FB to communicate, then you probably can't do it. I think the key is to make it clear that you -do- want to be invited to things. People will let you know. It's also a plus to be a fun person to hang out with, and don't talk about how great it is to not have a phone.