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I'm not going to because that's a really fucking stupid argument.

sheepmullet 8y ago
> I'm not going to because that's a really fucking stupid argument. Your comment honestly does make me feel uncomfortable. Why is it ok on hn to make unwelcome and uncomfortable comments but not in a university setting? Can we label you a harasser?
tzahola 8y ago
Your tone feels threatening. I hope you don't bring that attitude to the campus...
- mayniac 8y ago
  If you've got an actual argument to make then please make it, I really don't have the time or patience for no-effort bait comments like >Define "sexual", define "harassment".
  - tzahola 8y ago
    My argument is the same as what's described in this comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16912248 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16912248
collyw 8y ago
I don't think it is. I have seen it said before that if you ask a girl out once its fine. If she says no and you continue to do it then its harassment. Except that how a lot of relationships begin. Pretty sure that the story of how Barack Obama got Michelle. At one end of the spectrum its obvious. At the other end it's not.
- aninhumer 8y ago
  Just because some people ended up in a relationship this way doesn't mean the behaviour should be encouraged. Sure, some people won't mind being asked out repeatedly, or maybe even find it flattering, but some people will find it very uncomfortable, and forcing those people to deal with that just so some people get to enjoy a silly courtship ritual is not really fair.
  - sheepmullet 8y ago
    > but some people will find it very uncomfortable And are they being reasonable or not? I know people who find it very uncomfortable to leave their house. I know people who find it very uncomfortable to talk to someone they don't know. I personally find any kind of sales and advertising incredibly uncomfortable. Almost everyone finds it very uncomfortable when they have their views challenged. Just because something makes some people uncomfortable doesn't make it bad.
    - aninhumer 8y ago
      What exactly do you think it mean for someone's experience of discomfort to be "unreasonable"? And why do you think that justifies taking actions that we know are likely to cause someone else discomfort? I can't say I find your examples particularly justifying. I think we should leave agoraphobic introverts alone if that's what they want. I think sales and advertising are obnoxious and society would be better without them. And I think people should be free to explore different views at their own pace, as long as they're not hurting anyone. Or if they are hurting someone, then that discomfort caused by challenging their views is justified, but it's still a bad thing in itself.
      - sheepmullet 8y ago
        > What exactly do you think it mean for someone's experience of discomfort to be "unreasonable"? Way outside of the norm. I'm not quite sure what you are getting at? > And why do you think that justifies taking actions that we know are likely to cause someone else discomfort? 1. Is causing discomfort immoral? Sometimes but it can also be a good thing. 2. What makes you think it's likely to cause discomfort? It's a tiny minority who are truly bothered. The reason guys will ask multiple times is because it works - Millions of happy relationships have started after an initial rejection. 3. Why do you only consider one persons discomfort? Not being able to find a life partner is incredibly discomforting. What about the discomfort faced by the many many women who like being chased?

> I'm not going to because that's a really fucking stupid argument. Your comment honestly does make me feel uncomfortable. Why is it ok on hn to make unwelcome and uncomfortable comments but not in a university setting? Can we label you a harasser?

tzahola 8y ago

Your tone feels threatening. I hope you don't bring that attitude to the campus...

mayniac 8y ago
If you've got an actual argument to make then please make it, I really don't have the time or patience for no-effort bait comments like >Define "sexual", define "harassment".
- tzahola 8y ago
  My argument is the same as what's described in this comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16912248 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16912248

collyw 8y ago

I don't think it is. I have seen it said before that if you ask a girl out once its fine. If she says no and you continue to do it then its harassment. Except that how a lot of relationships begin. Pretty sure that the story of how Barack Obama got Michelle. At one end of the spectrum its obvious. At the other end it's not.

aninhumer 8y ago
Just because some people ended up in a relationship this way doesn't mean the behaviour should be encouraged. Sure, some people won't mind being asked out repeatedly, or maybe even find it flattering, but some people will find it very uncomfortable, and forcing those people to deal with that just so some people get to enjoy a silly courtship ritual is not really fair.
- sheepmullet 8y ago
  > but some people will find it very uncomfortable And are they being reasonable or not? I know people who find it very uncomfortable to leave their house. I know people who find it very uncomfortable to talk to someone they don't know. I personally find any kind of sales and advertising incredibly uncomfortable. Almost everyone finds it very uncomfortable when they have their views challenged. Just because something makes some people uncomfortable doesn't make it bad.
  - aninhumer 8y ago
    What exactly do you think it mean for someone's experience of discomfort to be "unreasonable"? And why do you think that justifies taking actions that we know are likely to cause someone else discomfort? I can't say I find your examples particularly justifying. I think we should leave agoraphobic introverts alone if that's what they want. I think sales and advertising are obnoxious and society would be better without them. And I think people should be free to explore different views at their own pace, as long as they're not hurting anyone. Or if they are hurting someone, then that discomfort caused by challenging their views is justified, but it's still a bad thing in itself.
    - sheepmullet 8y ago
      > What exactly do you think it mean for someone's experience of discomfort to be "unreasonable"? Way outside of the norm. I'm not quite sure what you are getting at? > And why do you think that justifies taking actions that we know are likely to cause someone else discomfort? 1. Is causing discomfort immoral? Sometimes but it can also be a good thing. 2. What makes you think it's likely to cause discomfort? It's a tiny minority who are truly bothered. The reason guys will ask multiple times is because it works - Millions of happy relationships have started after an initial rejection. 3. Why do you only consider one persons discomfort? Not being able to find a life partner is incredibly discomforting. What about the discomfort faced by the many many women who like being chased?