4 ms·

There are several Internet communities where transgenders can talk pseudonimously.

aninhumer 9y ago
Indeed, I think part of the problem is that the only interactions a lot of people have with trans people is with political advocacy, where people are too busy trying to deal with rampant misinformation to ever get into nuance. And people then assume this is the only form of discourse that trans people ever engage in. Much as people like to deride "safe spaces" as echo chambers, actual safe space trans communities are far more open to discussing conflicting feelings, doubts, regrets etc. because they know people won't use those admissions to judge or invalidate them. Which is of course, exactly the point of a safe space. (PS: The preferred term is "transgender people" or more commonly just "trans people".)
- deleted 9y ago
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- DoreenMichele 9y ago
  I think part of the problem is that the only interactions a lot of people have with trans people is with political advocacy, I've personally been attacked a few times on HN as transphobic for trying to talk about women's issues and my personal problems as a woman in a man's world. My experience suggests the trans community frequently takes approaches that are openly and unnecessarily hostile. I also spent 9 months being very supportive of a MTF trans youth met through HN whose life was in serious crisis at the time. Several other members of HN are well aware of the support I provided her. None of them ever stepped forward in my defense during the time when I was being repeatedly randomly attacked as supposedly transphobic. The MTF individual in question was incredibly ugly to me during the months that I was supportive. Every single personal problem I had as a divorced single mom, problems very typical of divorced single moms, was dismissed as me being incompetent, not wanting success badly enough, etc. I got badly burned for being sympathetic and supportive. I have reason to believe this individual still has the ear of powerful people and there is evidence they are still telling lies about me and dragging my name through the mud. If my experience is at all representative, then your description of the problem space doesn't begin to capture the issue.
  - aninhumer 9y ago
    >If my experience is at all representative I don't really see any reason to think that your interactions with one trans woman would be representative?
    - DoreenMichele 9y ago
      You are glossing over large parts of my comment. This is hardly limited to interactions with one individual.
DoreenMichele 9y ago
The part of the comment about trans people is an off-topic derail. Sex reassignment surgery is not free for the asking. There is substantial prep work preceding it, including psychological exams. You have to convince a bunch of people this is merited and appropriate in order to get such surgery.

Indeed, I think part of the problem is that the only interactions a lot of people have with trans people is with political advocacy, where people are too busy trying to deal with rampant misinformation to ever get into nuance. And people then assume this is the only form of discourse that trans people ever engage in. Much as people like to deride "safe spaces" as echo chambers, actual safe space trans communities are far more open to discussing conflicting feelings, doubts, regrets etc. because they know people won't use those admissions to judge or invalidate them. Which is of course, exactly the point of a safe space. (PS: The preferred term is "transgender people" or more commonly just "trans people".)

deleted 9y ago
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DoreenMichele 9y ago
I think part of the problem is that the only interactions a lot of people have with trans people is with political advocacy, I've personally been attacked a few times on HN as transphobic for trying to talk about women's issues and my personal problems as a woman in a man's world. My experience suggests the trans community frequently takes approaches that are openly and unnecessarily hostile. I also spent 9 months being very supportive of a MTF trans youth met through HN whose life was in serious crisis at the time. Several other members of HN are well aware of the support I provided her. None of them ever stepped forward in my defense during the time when I was being repeatedly randomly attacked as supposedly transphobic. The MTF individual in question was incredibly ugly to me during the months that I was supportive. Every single personal problem I had as a divorced single mom, problems very typical of divorced single moms, was dismissed as me being incompetent, not wanting success badly enough, etc. I got badly burned for being sympathetic and supportive. I have reason to believe this individual still has the ear of powerful people and there is evidence they are still telling lies about me and dragging my name through the mud. If my experience is at all representative, then your description of the problem space doesn't begin to capture the issue.
- aninhumer 9y ago
  >If my experience is at all representative I don't really see any reason to think that your interactions with one trans woman would be representative?
  - DoreenMichele 9y ago
    You are glossing over large parts of my comment. This is hardly limited to interactions with one individual.

DoreenMichele 9y ago

The part of the comment about trans people is an off-topic derail. Sex reassignment surgery is not free for the asking. There is substantial prep work preceding it, including psychological exams. You have to convince a bunch of people this is merited and appropriate in order to get such surgery.