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But there is still the same problem, for you it is the same as it was before, you have a large amount of contacts, same as my phonebook. With age come lots of w

by _o_ 8y ago

But there is still the same problem, for you it is the same as it was before, you have a large amount of contacts, same as my phonebook. With age come lots of work, having a family makes it even worse and it is normal, that at the end you are having only a few of them. This is nothing special and observed over decades. But what the FB does is creating a false sense of friendship, and since you don't have much time (and with aging you are having it even less), instead of focusing to a few people you really like, go for a beer with them, actually bond or find another friend, it makes everyone a "phonebook" entry. At the end you finish with not having a single real friend in your live, but you rather spend a lot of time on chatting with irelevant people. Same as here but with a twist - FB gives you a false feeling that your social life is ok, while here you know that you only chat with strangers. It encorages you not to do anything to find friends, to bond, instead of helping people bond, it is actually preventing them - which is great for FB business, the more time you spend there, the more they earn. And to make it even worse, due to the FB it is becoming even harder to find frinds, as its users (not all) are off the grid for normal, real life, socializing. Actually you made me think about it: all of my real life friends are very modest in using FB or they don't use it at all. To me it looks like that what people like you are considering as a solution (FB) is actually a problem. (I was downvoted, I seriously don't understand why, it would be great if people who are doing it would rather write what is so wrong, I am seriously having issues understanding it)

mirko22 8y ago
my opinion is that you were downvoted cos people really want to use Facebook for whatever reason and when you say they don’t need it they start shaking... so yes, it is an addiction. and also, i see internet as public space, YOU are responsible what you leave behind, if someone comes up to you in a real world and ask you your birthday how would you react? yet you do it on the internet and people will give that and their CC card number without problems and then complain... So, yeah this is not just Facebook fault...
watwut 8y ago
Facebook made my life better, but that does not matter to you, because my life without Facebook would revert back to bad which you are completely cool with. That is the core of your argument. > But what the FB does is creating a false sense of friendship, That is something you made up. You >, instead of focusing to a few people you really like, I am focusing on poeple I really like and Facebook made it easier for me to do so. > go for a beer with them, actually bond or find another friend, That assumes many free evenings and physical proximity with similar people. That assumes that going regularly for beer as an easily available option that does not costs other things that are important - work time, children time and other duties time. > At the end you finish with not having a single real friend in your live, but you rather spend a lot of time on chatting with irelevant people. That is life. That is also infinitely better then being alone. Having close friends physically present around me with a lot of time on both sides might be even better, but that is not here not there. You ignore the actual choice "shallow or nothing at all" and talk about made up choice "shallow or best friend". I guess that you have zero idea what it is like to be socially isolated. That is happy for you, but people unlike you exist. Your response to them is just a bunch of condescension. > FB gives you a false feeling that your social life is ok, while here you know that you only chat with strangers. Again, you made that up. You dont know what feeling I or other people have, so you project cluelessness into them. People are not off the grid because of Facebook, people were off the grid all the time. Both those with and without Facebook, due to how life is lived. That is why it became successful in the first place, too many people found what it provides helpful. I did not downvoted you, but I guess it happened because you built your argument of projecting worst possible motivation on people who are not like you.
- _o_ 8y ago
  Unfortunately, I didn't made it up and if you surf a bit around psychological studys it is proven fact, if you believe the science, this is just one of researches: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0069841 http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.... Yeah I believe it is really helpful for a very narrow group, let me compare it to hearing aid, people that have hearing disabilities, are having a life much better in using hearing aid devices, while it will impair hearing of anyone hearing well. To paraphrase it, what people are doing today is using hearing aid as they are too lazy to listen (To avoid confusion: I am talking in general! The majority of gaussian bell curve!) and this is turning society into bunch of half deaf people. I am sometimes having problem with, people not understanding that, socialization is a very basic skill that has to be learned and trained. FB is like junk food, it tastes well, it is simple to obtain, it doesn't need a lot of effort to cook, but in general it harms you. And due to the fact that most of people don't care, population is getting fat, it suffer from bunch of cardiovascular diseases, but getting healthy food is progressively harder and expensier. As most of people are not using it. I don't think anyone needs to be rocket scientist to understand that. I don't have problems if downvotes someone who actually takes part in debate :) but drive by shooting annoys me a lot.
lioeters 8y ago
I upvoted you, as a counter-weight. I don't necessarily agree 100% with you, but I think downvotes shouldn't be used to express disagreement - and your comment was a valuable expression of opinion.
- _o_ 8y ago
  Thank you, but everyone should understand that.
davidcbc 8y ago
Your original post comes across as “I’m super cool and popular so I don’t need Facebook. Everyone should just be like me.”
- _o_ 8y ago
  (After I wrote it I have started to think about your answer as rethorical. If this doesn't fit, I would be really satisfied if people who do fit would have a chance to read it) It is not about popularity, you can always find people that have something in common with you. You found them on FB, right? Just don't use FB for excuse for not even try and you will find out that you don't need it. I am a geek as you (probably) are, but there are a lot of other geeks too. If we would live in a same city, what is stopping us to go for a beer and play board games (which I love) and laughing at people who don't have a clue what we are doing. Screw the "how you look" prejustice (which FB is actually imposing - before FB came out, people cared much less about the look, this whole "lets be preaty" and "how interesting life I have"(which is a lie in most of cases) mania is by large its fault). The point of bonding is to interact in person, not hide behind a chat. And after a while (of hiding) you are completely spaced out in regard of social interaction. As far as I am concerned, todays pop culture is completely f* up and something to laugh at, why taking THEIR social norms on yourself? You can be popular too, due to your math knowlidge (yeah, stereotypes, I know), board games, whatever. Just find right group and BOND. In real life, stop poking your nose with rubber gloves, take them off and expirience the REAL expirience ;) Come on, I bet there was a guy (and girl, they are faking their interests to be """popular""", wait until they are 30+, you will see a huge change in their behaviour) in your class, in your neibhourhood, who has similar interests as you do, just say fuc* off, to anxiety, to media, to pop oriented morons (I am sorry, but I really despise this part of culture, which is faking their natural behaviour just to fit... somewhere) and bond with people, what do you have to loose - except of years of training of social interactions that FB is taking away from you?
  - watwut 8y ago
    I like how you are totally convinced that everyone has tons of free time and no real world duties and responsibilities. And how you see socializing primary as social status thing or that self-imposed-geek-isolation is your only reference for someone who is lonely. And like how there could not be no reason in for girls to change behavior when their life situation changes then that they were "faking". Makes me really not want to be in real-world group of geeks with you. That sort of bullshit is why I am avoiding local tech meetups.

by _o_ 8y ago

mirko22 8y ago

my opinion is that you were downvoted cos people really want to use Facebook for whatever reason and when you say they don’t need it they start shaking... so yes, it is an addiction. and also, i see internet as public space, YOU are responsible what you leave behind, if someone comes up to you in a real world and ask you your birthday how would you react? yet you do it on the internet and people will give that and their CC card number without problems and then complain... So, yeah this is not just Facebook fault...

watwut 8y ago

Facebook made my life better, but that does not matter to you, because my life without Facebook would revert back to bad which you are completely cool with. That is the core of your argument. > But what the FB does is creating a false sense of friendship, That is something you made up. You >, instead of focusing to a few people you really like, I am focusing on poeple I really like and Facebook made it easier for me to do so. > go for a beer with them, actually bond or find another friend, That assumes many free evenings and physical proximity with similar people. That assumes that going regularly for beer as an easily available option that does not costs other things that are important - work time, children time and other duties time. > At the end you finish with not having a single real friend in your live, but you rather spend a lot of time on chatting with irelevant people. That is life. That is also infinitely better then being alone. Having close friends physically present around me with a lot of time on both sides might be even better, but that is not here not there. You ignore the actual choice "shallow or nothing at all" and talk about made up choice "shallow or best friend". I guess that you have zero idea what it is like to be socially isolated. That is happy for you, but people unlike you exist. Your response to them is just a bunch of condescension. > FB gives you a false feeling that your social life is ok, while here you know that you only chat with strangers. Again, you made that up. You dont know what feeling I or other people have, so you project cluelessness into them. People are not off the grid because of Facebook, people were off the grid all the time. Both those with and without Facebook, due to how life is lived. That is why it became successful in the first place, too many people found what it provides helpful. I did not downvoted you, but I guess it happened because you built your argument of projecting worst possible motivation on people who are not like you.

_o_ 8y ago
Unfortunately, I didn't made it up and if you surf a bit around psychological studys it is proven fact, if you believe the science, this is just one of researches: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0069841 http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.... Yeah I believe it is really helpful for a very narrow group, let me compare it to hearing aid, people that have hearing disabilities, are having a life much better in using hearing aid devices, while it will impair hearing of anyone hearing well. To paraphrase it, what people are doing today is using hearing aid as they are too lazy to listen (To avoid confusion: I am talking in general! The majority of gaussian bell curve!) and this is turning society into bunch of half deaf people. I am sometimes having problem with, people not understanding that, socialization is a very basic skill that has to be learned and trained. FB is like junk food, it tastes well, it is simple to obtain, it doesn't need a lot of effort to cook, but in general it harms you. And due to the fact that most of people don't care, population is getting fat, it suffer from bunch of cardiovascular diseases, but getting healthy food is progressively harder and expensier. As most of people are not using it. I don't think anyone needs to be rocket scientist to understand that. I don't have problems if downvotes someone who actually takes part in debate :) but drive by shooting annoys me a lot.

lioeters 8y ago

I upvoted you, as a counter-weight. I don't necessarily agree 100% with you, but I think downvotes shouldn't be used to express disagreement - and your comment was a valuable expression of opinion.

_o_ 8y ago
Thank you, but everyone should understand that.

davidcbc 8y ago

Your original post comes across as “I’m super cool and popular so I don’t need Facebook. Everyone should just be like me.”

_o_ 8y ago
(After I wrote it I have started to think about your answer as rethorical. If this doesn't fit, I would be really satisfied if people who do fit would have a chance to read it) It is not about popularity, you can always find people that have something in common with you. You found them on FB, right? Just don't use FB for excuse for not even try and you will find out that you don't need it. I am a geek as you (probably) are, but there are a lot of other geeks too. If we would live in a same city, what is stopping us to go for a beer and play board games (which I love) and laughing at people who don't have a clue what we are doing. Screw the "how you look" prejustice (which FB is actually imposing - before FB came out, people cared much less about the look, this whole "lets be preaty" and "how interesting life I have"(which is a lie in most of cases) mania is by large its fault). The point of bonding is to interact in person, not hide behind a chat. And after a while (of hiding) you are completely spaced out in regard of social interaction. As far as I am concerned, todays pop culture is completely f* up and something to laugh at, why taking THEIR social norms on yourself? You can be popular too, due to your math knowlidge (yeah, stereotypes, I know), board games, whatever. Just find right group and BOND. In real life, stop poking your nose with rubber gloves, take them off and expirience the REAL expirience ;) Come on, I bet there was a guy (and girl, they are faking their interests to be """popular""", wait until they are 30+, you will see a huge change in their behaviour) in your class, in your neibhourhood, who has similar interests as you do, just say fuc* off, to anxiety, to media, to pop oriented morons (I am sorry, but I really despise this part of culture, which is faking their natural behaviour just to fit... somewhere) and bond with people, what do you have to loose - except of years of training of social interactions that FB is taking away from you?
- watwut 8y ago
  I like how you are totally convinced that everyone has tons of free time and no real world duties and responsibilities. And how you see socializing primary as social status thing or that self-imposed-geek-isolation is your only reference for someone who is lonely. And like how there could not be no reason in for girls to change behavior when their life situation changes then that they were "faking". Makes me really not want to be in real-world group of geeks with you. That sort of bullshit is why I am avoiding local tech meetups.