I get where you are coming from: you meet a team that for whatever reason is working on a level below your expectation and you want to 'help out', lifting them

I get where you are coming from: you meet a team that for whatever reason is working on a level below your expectation and you want to 'help out', lifting them up. So far so good and your intentions are excellent. Problem seems to be your people skills are not up to your tech skills. You need to 'seduce' people and coach them if you want to lead. Your actions seems to have the predicable effect of alienating them and making them feel bad. A good lead/manager knows that you do not 'lead by example', ou lead by getting the people 'want', even 'like' to do the things you want them to do. I'm very sympathetic to your cause, but to be very honest, from the way you wrote this up, I'm not sure you realy did learn that much.