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I'm sympathetic to the merits of tough love; I've often been the most willing to step forward and impart it. But I've spent enough time in the company of people
by tomhoward 9y ago
I'm sympathetic to the merits of tough love; I've often been the most willing to step forward and impart it. But I've spent enough time in the company of people in desperate need that I know when it can do more harm than good. I can accept that you were trying to help, but if I might direct some tough love at you, the best of intentions can lead to very bad outcomes if they're not accompanied by a sincere effort to understand the entire circumstances of the person you're trying to help.
- DoreenMichele 9y agoI will note that my very first comment was an incredibly prosaic "Ugh, taxes!" remark. Had multiple people not piled on to tell me I was not justified in being stressed out about the IRS outage occurring on the final filing day, a day when 5 million Americans file from what I gather, and I just need to be more responsible, etc, there would have been no so called histrionics. The HN guidelines indicate personal attacks are out of line. Most of my "bad behavior" on HN occurs after being attacked, often repeatedly and by multiple people. I do what I can to figure out how to handle such things better, but those attacks should not be occurring to begin with. If they stopped, it would be vastly easier for me to maintain my composure and not get bent out of shape.