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"There has to be some chemistry between the two of you... the other person has to actually like you. That takes more than effort, money or time." Every woman I

"There has to be some chemistry between the two of you... the other person has to actually like you. That takes more than effort, money or time." Every woman I pursued ended up costing me $1M. There was all chemistry at the start but soon it disappeared. Disappearing love is correlated money transfer from me to them. I've stopped looking for any love. I've accepted does not exist in real world.

pmoriarty 8y ago
There are definitely way too many people (men and women) who are just after money. One of the downsides of being rich is that those kind of people tend to sniff you out and come after whatever they can leech off of you. Being poor, I don't have that problem. If someone likes me, I can be pretty sure they're not after my money.. because I don't have any. That said, with or without money, relationships can start out good and turn sour for many reasons completely unrelated to money. When relationships start, we're often putting on our best face, and the people we're dating only see the positive side of us (and we of them). After a while, unless we have outstanding acting ability (and usually some kind of pathology which keeps us from being genuine with our loved ones), we start to show our true selves to each other.. and we (or they) might not like what we see. That's when relationships can easily fall apart -- especially if both people aren't mature enough to recognize that most relationships require hard work to keep them going in the long run, and aren't committed to doing that work. Communication is especially important at this stage. What am I doing wrong? How can I do better? What do I want out of this relationship? At a fundamental level, are we really compatible? These are questions we have to ask ourselves and each other, but most people are really bad at communicating -- especially with people close to themselves, with people who they feel vulnerable to and who they don't want to hurt.... until they can't take it anymore and things blow up.. but by then it's usually too late to make amends. So, yeah, if things are going wrong for you over and over, and if you or the people you're dating are falling in to recognizable patterns, you might want to start by asking yourself some tough questions.. perhaps with the help of a good therapist. Negative relationship patterns are one of the things a good therapist could really help you to break out of -- in more constructive ways than just giving up.
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  Unless you are literally homeless and eating at soup kitchens because you have zero income, then you have some money, even if you aren't rich. There is always someone who can have less than you. I have seen plenty of homeless people used for their money by someone claiming romantic interest, usually women. When I was a homeless woman, I knew a homeless guy who had fantasies I would provide for him in exchange for sex. Yeah, no. I did the homemaker thing and supported my husband's career. It cost me a career. Time is money as they say. I'm divorced and I am still struggling to make ends meet. I'm dirt poor and I very much agree with the GP. Love isn't real.
  - pmoriarty 8y ago
    Well, I'm not after other people's money. It sounds like you and GP aren't after it either. We all want to make genuine connections and have meaningful relationships. That makes three of us, and I have a feeling there are many more. We're just not connecting enough, and have been bitten so much that we stay home licking our wounds instead of risking getting hurt again. But it's not because good people aren't out there. They're out there. We just have to find them somehow, and that takes trying instead of sitting at home.
    - DoreenMichele 8y ago
      Trying has taught me the exact same thing the GP has learned: People only ever take advantage of me. That's it. I'm not rich, but it has cost me plenty to be kind and generous to people and I don't need some internet stranger trying to give me some pep talk like I just haven't tried hard enough.
      - pmoriarty 8y ago
        Yes, we are strangers. I don't know you, and don't know what you have or haven't tried, or how hard you've tried. I don't know who you met and who you didn't meet, how they treated you or how you treated them. I, like you, have my own experience of and view on the world, and I was just expressing it and trying to help -- help not just you but anyone who's reading this that might be going through something similar. I've seen so many good people torpedo their own chances, so many people blame others when they actually had a role to play in the negative way the relationship went (I'm not saying you're doing this because, as you point out, I don't know you at all.. but some people certainly do exactly that), and so many people could do a lot better if they did try more and worked on their issues more to actually improve their own desirability and ability to cope with serious relationships. But if you don't believe me, if you're not convinced or don't think what I say applies to you, and you prefer to give up, fine. Then what I say is not for you. Maybe it can encourage someone else who hasn't yet given up.

pmoriarty 8y ago

There are definitely way too many people (men and women) who are just after money. One of the downsides of being rich is that those kind of people tend to sniff you out and come after whatever they can leech off of you. Being poor, I don't have that problem. If someone likes me, I can be pretty sure they're not after my money.. because I don't have any. That said, with or without money, relationships can start out good and turn sour for many reasons completely unrelated to money. When relationships start, we're often putting on our best face, and the people we're dating only see the positive side of us (and we of them). After a while, unless we have outstanding acting ability (and usually some kind of pathology which keeps us from being genuine with our loved ones), we start to show our true selves to each other.. and we (or they) might not like what we see. That's when relationships can easily fall apart -- especially if both people aren't mature enough to recognize that most relationships require hard work to keep them going in the long run, and aren't committed to doing that work. Communication is especially important at this stage. What am I doing wrong? How can I do better? What do I want out of this relationship? At a fundamental level, are we really compatible? These are questions we have to ask ourselves and each other, but most people are really bad at communicating -- especially with people close to themselves, with people who they feel vulnerable to and who they don't want to hurt.... until they can't take it anymore and things blow up.. but by then it's usually too late to make amends. So, yeah, if things are going wrong for you over and over, and if you or the people you're dating are falling in to recognizable patterns, you might want to start by asking yourself some tough questions.. perhaps with the help of a good therapist. Negative relationship patterns are one of the things a good therapist could really help you to break out of -- in more constructive ways than just giving up.

DoreenMichele 8y ago
Unless you are literally homeless and eating at soup kitchens because you have zero income, then you have some money, even if you aren't rich. There is always someone who can have less than you. I have seen plenty of homeless people used for their money by someone claiming romantic interest, usually women. When I was a homeless woman, I knew a homeless guy who had fantasies I would provide for him in exchange for sex. Yeah, no. I did the homemaker thing and supported my husband's career. It cost me a career. Time is money as they say. I'm divorced and I am still struggling to make ends meet. I'm dirt poor and I very much agree with the GP. Love isn't real.
- pmoriarty 8y ago
  Well, I'm not after other people's money. It sounds like you and GP aren't after it either. We all want to make genuine connections and have meaningful relationships. That makes three of us, and I have a feeling there are many more. We're just not connecting enough, and have been bitten so much that we stay home licking our wounds instead of risking getting hurt again. But it's not because good people aren't out there. They're out there. We just have to find them somehow, and that takes trying instead of sitting at home.
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    Trying has taught me the exact same thing the GP has learned: People only ever take advantage of me. That's it. I'm not rich, but it has cost me plenty to be kind and generous to people and I don't need some internet stranger trying to give me some pep talk like I just haven't tried hard enough.
    - pmoriarty 8y ago
      Yes, we are strangers. I don't know you, and don't know what you have or haven't tried, or how hard you've tried. I don't know who you met and who you didn't meet, how they treated you or how you treated them. I, like you, have my own experience of and view on the world, and I was just expressing it and trying to help -- help not just you but anyone who's reading this that might be going through something similar. I've seen so many good people torpedo their own chances, so many people blame others when they actually had a role to play in the negative way the relationship went (I'm not saying you're doing this because, as you point out, I don't know you at all.. but some people certainly do exactly that), and so many people could do a lot better if they did try more and worked on their issues more to actually improve their own desirability and ability to cope with serious relationships. But if you don't believe me, if you're not convinced or don't think what I say applies to you, and you prefer to give up, fine. Then what I say is not for you. Maybe it can encourage someone else who hasn't yet given up.