I used to experience this as well, and I always considered myself cyclothymic[0] (not diagnosed). I feel much more even nowadays and I attribute it to a cumula

I used to experience this as well, and I always considered myself cyclothymic[0] (not diagnosed). I feel much more even nowadays and I attribute it to a cumulative effect from plant medicine ceremonies over the last 3 years (five combination ayahuasca/san pedro, one 5-MeO-DMT), discovering an anchoring purpose for my life, and reducing my marijuana consumption (haven't smoked/edibled since New Years, longest in ~17 years). I feel a general resistance to dwelling on depressiveness personally, or any groups that center around dwelling on any negative perception of self. In my experience I've found that it becomes self-reinforcing... if you're lonely and you feel less lonely thanks to your kinship within a group based on shared depression, then your desire to be less depressed becomes subversive to your membership of an in-group. Depression can become an immutable identity trait and not a state of mind that can be overcome with the right treatment. This part of the interview resonated with me: > Pourasghar: For one, if you’ve experienced extreme hopelessness at some point and came out of it stronger, I think it prepares you for the rest of your life in a positive way. It gives you a deep-rooted confidence. You learn that whatever comes your way you can always prevail, and I think that leads to allowing for more risk in your decisions. It helps me put any fears into perspective. > Also, I think my experiences have opened me up to more vulnerability. Unfortunately, we are usually taught that vulnerability means weakness, especially as men. From my experience, I’ve found that opening up to people builds trust. When we bring our whole self to the people around us, we create stronger, more authentic relationships. In general, I’ve learned that it’s possible to turn pain into something positive. I don't think I would ever use such a service myself though. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclothymia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclothymia