4 ms·

Just to be clear chastity and asexuality are not the same thing. A chaste person experiences sexual attraction but chooses not to act on it. An asexual person

by Jemmeh 9y ago

Just to be clear chastity and asexuality are not the same thing. A chaste person experiences sexual attraction but chooses not to act on it. An asexual person doesn't experience (or experiences very little) sexual attraction in the first place.

brandall10 9y ago
Clear about the distinction - I definitely meant asexuality. They appear to lack interest, or at least that's the impression I've gotten.
- nexus2045 9y ago
  I think I seen a lot of asexuality in say, women in CS, or those who grow up under stricter Asian parenting in general, not having the time to ever "go out" or enjoy nightlife. This might be a minority of girls (most eventually try to put on makeup, be more sexually attractive, date around), but could still anecdotally constitute 10-20% of girls just based on what I've observed on university campuses. These are the kind of girls that totally don't sexually signal in a visual manner, have almost never dated, somewhat shy, sheepish around any sign of a sexual topic.
  - Jemmeh 9y ago
    As an Asian woman in CS...I really don't see that as a lack of attraction (they'll talk about it with other ladies) so much as a just raised to not talk about it too openly and especially with men. At least here (USA) women in general also get a lot of shit in general for appearing sexual(What a slut, so easy, etc). But I feel like it's worse in most of the Asian families I know in a "you are ruined forever!" way and in a "focus on your studies/career!" way. Seriously have had my own family call me a ho for wearing lipstick and 2 inch heels lul. Ya still feel the feels, you just don't express it. On the other hand I have been meeting more people who say "it's not worth the hassle" for various reasons even if they experience sexual attraction. I've heard a lot of people say it's not worth all that effort.
  - watwut 9y ago
    Being asexual and not being interested in night life are faaar from each other. Like, absurdly ridiculously far. For that matter, self control, ability to control impulses, introversion or being goal oriented does not make you asexual. Not does preference for sex only in context of long term relationship. Nor does modesty in clothing. (RELATED immodesty in clothing does not imply sex with random dudes nor interest in it. Pretty important.) Evangelical coservative white girls are not asexual either. They do however have opinions about when to sex, who to have sex and when not to. Edit: also, asexual people do enjoy nightlife and dancing and can wear sexy cloth. They don't care about sex part, but they do care about fun to similar extend as sexual people. After all, many sexual girls like to dance and want to dance, but did not came dance because they desperately seek sex.
    - watwut 9y ago
      This is one of those occasions where I would prefer people to explain what they disagree on rather then downvote. As far as I am concerned, what I wrote is common sense and consistent with all I know about a.) asexuality b.) normal human behavior in 21 century. By normal I mean both people who like night dancing and people who don't.
      - Jemmeh 9y ago
        As an asexual person I really agree with you and I'm surprised people are downvoting you. Sexuality =/= personality.
  - brandall10 9y ago
    I'm not talking about Japanese women in CS. I'm talking about Japanese youth of both sexes in Japan, it seems like there's a general lack of intimacy or desire to be intimate that is a cultural in nature.
  - zingmars 9y ago
    I've met women who are similar to what you describe. Mostly religious women who were really into church from their childhood. Some were even in CS. The ones I met weren't really asexual. More like, they simply don't feel comfortable talking about sexual things with others who aren't part of their close friends circle, and even then. Their lack of outgoing-like attitudes definitely constitutes to less dating but not in a way that prevents them from dating at all.

by Jemmeh 9y ago

brandall10 9y ago

Clear about the distinction - I definitely meant asexuality. They appear to lack interest, or at least that's the impression I've gotten.

nexus2045 9y ago
I think I seen a lot of asexuality in say, women in CS, or those who grow up under stricter Asian parenting in general, not having the time to ever "go out" or enjoy nightlife. This might be a minority of girls (most eventually try to put on makeup, be more sexually attractive, date around), but could still anecdotally constitute 10-20% of girls just based on what I've observed on university campuses. These are the kind of girls that totally don't sexually signal in a visual manner, have almost never dated, somewhat shy, sheepish around any sign of a sexual topic.
- Jemmeh 9y ago
  As an Asian woman in CS...I really don't see that as a lack of attraction (they'll talk about it with other ladies) so much as a just raised to not talk about it too openly and especially with men. At least here (USA) women in general also get a lot of shit in general for appearing sexual(What a slut, so easy, etc). But I feel like it's worse in most of the Asian families I know in a "you are ruined forever!" way and in a "focus on your studies/career!" way. Seriously have had my own family call me a ho for wearing lipstick and 2 inch heels lul. Ya still feel the feels, you just don't express it. On the other hand I have been meeting more people who say "it's not worth the hassle" for various reasons even if they experience sexual attraction. I've heard a lot of people say it's not worth all that effort.
- watwut 9y ago
  Being asexual and not being interested in night life are faaar from each other. Like, absurdly ridiculously far. For that matter, self control, ability to control impulses, introversion or being goal oriented does not make you asexual. Not does preference for sex only in context of long term relationship. Nor does modesty in clothing. (RELATED immodesty in clothing does not imply sex with random dudes nor interest in it. Pretty important.) Evangelical coservative white girls are not asexual either. They do however have opinions about when to sex, who to have sex and when not to. Edit: also, asexual people do enjoy nightlife and dancing and can wear sexy cloth. They don't care about sex part, but they do care about fun to similar extend as sexual people. After all, many sexual girls like to dance and want to dance, but did not came dance because they desperately seek sex.
  - watwut 9y ago
    This is one of those occasions where I would prefer people to explain what they disagree on rather then downvote. As far as I am concerned, what I wrote is common sense and consistent with all I know about a.) asexuality b.) normal human behavior in 21 century. By normal I mean both people who like night dancing and people who don't.
    - Jemmeh 9y ago
      As an asexual person I really agree with you and I'm surprised people are downvoting you. Sexuality =/= personality.
- brandall10 9y ago
  I'm not talking about Japanese women in CS. I'm talking about Japanese youth of both sexes in Japan, it seems like there's a general lack of intimacy or desire to be intimate that is a cultural in nature.
- zingmars 9y ago
  I've met women who are similar to what you describe. Mostly religious women who were really into church from their childhood. Some were even in CS. The ones I met weren't really asexual. More like, they simply don't feel comfortable talking about sexual things with others who aren't part of their close friends circle, and even then. Their lack of outgoing-like attitudes definitely constitutes to less dating but not in a way that prevents them from dating at all.