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> "Around 40% of unmarried Japanese are still virgins at the age of 34." That's a pretty damning statistic for a secular country. Is that a world record?

astrange 9y ago
Here’s your correction. > Correction (February 22nd 2018): The original version of this article said that around 40% of Japanese were still virgins at the age of 34. In fact, that only applies to unmarried Japanese. They could also be lying on the surveys.
- zingmars 9y ago
  It's pretty odd that a man would lie about being a virgin, but I suppose that's the western perspective.
  - brandall10 9y ago
    Presumably ~half the people surveyed were women, and being unmarried that might be a position they'd like to hold onto. That said, it seems like this has been a recurring theme in stories about Japanese youth I've seen in recent years, that asexuality is becoming a thing.
    - Jemmeh 9y ago
      Just to be clear chastity and asexuality are not the same thing. A chaste person experiences sexual attraction but chooses not to act on it. An asexual person doesn't experience (or experiences very little) sexual attraction in the first place.
      - brandall10 9y ago
        Clear about the distinction - I definitely meant asexuality. They appear to lack interest, or at least that's the impression I've gotten.
        nexus2045 9y ago
        I think I seen a lot of asexuality in say, women in CS, or those who grow up under stricter Asian parenting in general, not having the time to ever "go out" or enjoy nightlife. This might be a minority of girls (most eventually try to put on makeup, be more sexually attractive, date around), but could still anecdotally constitute 10-20% of girls just based on what I've observed on university campuses. These are the kind of girls that totally don't sexually signal in a visual manner, have almost never dated, somewhat shy, sheepish around any sign of a sexual topic.
        Jemmeh 9y ago
        As an Asian woman in CS...I really don't see that as a lack of attraction (they'll talk about it with other ladies) so much as a just raised to not talk about it too openly and especially with men. At least here (USA) women in general also get a lot of shit in general for appearing sexual(What a slut, so easy, etc). But I feel like it's worse in most of the Asian families I know in a "you are ruined forever!" way and in a "focus on your studies/career!" way. Seriously have had my own family call me a ho for wearing lipstick and 2 inch heels lul. Ya still feel the feels, you just don't express it. On the other hand I have been meeting more people who say "it's not worth the hassle" for various reasons even if they experience sexual attraction. I've heard a lot of people say it's not worth all that effort.
        watwut 9y ago
        Being asexual and not being interested in night life are faaar from each other. Like, absurdly ridiculously far. For that matter, self control, ability to control impulses, introversion or being goal oriented does not make you asexual. Not does preference for sex only in context of long term relationship. Nor does modesty in clothing. (RELATED immodesty in clothing does not imply sex with random dudes nor interest in it. Pretty important.) Evangelical coservative white girls are not asexual either. They do however have opinions about when to sex, who to have sex and when not to. Edit: also, asexual people do enjoy nightlife and dancing and can wear sexy cloth. They don't care about sex part, but they do care about fun to similar extend as sexual people. After all, many sexual girls like to dance and want to dance, but did not came dance because they desperately seek sex.
  - Xixi 9y ago
    There are also two concepts of being a virgin in Japan: never had sex at all, or only had sex with prostitutes. Depending on how you ask the question, a man who had sex with prostitutes might still answer that he is a virgin.
    - astrange 9y ago
      Yeah, I was thinking that was one reason to lie.
- haZard_OS 9y ago
  It's unlikely that many are lying. The phenomenon of the "Herbivore Man" has spread and there are now signs of a similar trend among some women. The perspective behind all this appears to be: "If I get involved in a relationship, even a purely sexual one, the time and effort required of me won't be worth the trouble. I would rather just do my own thing and spend time with platonic friends."
watwut 9y ago
The importance people put on other people's sex lives, whether them having too much sex or not enought sex is completely incomprehensible to me. Some livestyles, for example too much work/study or preference for being alone, leads itself to less sex, regard less of religion. The way some people treat sex as not just pleasant activity or something that we biologically wish for, but also something that you must have lest it is "damning" is odd.
- neaden 9y ago
  Western media has this super creepy obsession with Japanese sex lives that I really wish would just go away.
- JDiculous 9y ago
  People can live their sex lives however they want, nobody's dictating anything to anyone here. I'm no sex expert, but I'd bet that the majority of those 34 year old virgins - at least the men - would rather not be virgins.
  - watwut 9y ago
    Sure. They also want might want cheaper healthcare, higher social status, better car, not be lonely, better health, some want deeper relationship, have children (not just because kids are result of sex), they dont travel enough and what not. But it is sex people systematically find damning and focus on.
Analemma_ 9y ago
There's a really good post on Tumblr that explains what the culture of intercourse is like in Japan: http://asukaskerian.tumblr.com/post/167188662255/sex-and-flirting-in-japan-originally-from-lj-user http://asukaskerian.tumblr.com/post/167188662255/sex-and-fli.... Various responses in the notes confirm that that's what it's like. Frankly, sex in Japan sounds miserable and I hardly blame them for not being particularly eager to have more of it
- nicolas_t 9y ago
  The sex part (passive and active) has not been my experience as a guy who lived in Japan but then again I'd say that both Japanese girlfriends I've had were rather atypical. Sex without showers being considered gross is true though. One factual error too is that maguro is an insult. Maguro is hardly considered to be a delicacy either, I mean it's the not so great part of the tuna... Otoro or chutoro would probably be more adequate if it were supposed to be named after delicacies but then that would conjure fat and oiliness which I'm not sure would make most girls happy. The rest is rather true with the exceptions that I've had drunk japanese girls be very direct about their intentions. So, while I agree that they tend to not be direct, alcohol does play a role. An average though, girls or guys who end up with foreign boyfriends or girlfriends will tend to be more open minded than the rest of the population, so there's a bit of a sampling bias.
  - rangibaby 9y ago
    Calling someone a maguro is not positive or nice. It’s saying they are a dead fish. I don’t think the author has (much?) experience having sex with Japanese

astrange 9y ago

Here’s your correction. > Correction (February 22nd 2018): The original version of this article said that around 40% of Japanese were still virgins at the age of 34. In fact, that only applies to unmarried Japanese. They could also be lying on the surveys.

zingmars 9y ago
It's pretty odd that a man would lie about being a virgin, but I suppose that's the western perspective.
- brandall10 9y ago
  Presumably ~half the people surveyed were women, and being unmarried that might be a position they'd like to hold onto. That said, it seems like this has been a recurring theme in stories about Japanese youth I've seen in recent years, that asexuality is becoming a thing.
  - Jemmeh 9y ago
    Just to be clear chastity and asexuality are not the same thing. A chaste person experiences sexual attraction but chooses not to act on it. An asexual person doesn't experience (or experiences very little) sexual attraction in the first place.
    - brandall10 9y ago
      Clear about the distinction - I definitely meant asexuality. They appear to lack interest, or at least that's the impression I've gotten.
      - nexus2045 9y ago
        I think I seen a lot of asexuality in say, women in CS, or those who grow up under stricter Asian parenting in general, not having the time to ever "go out" or enjoy nightlife. This might be a minority of girls (most eventually try to put on makeup, be more sexually attractive, date around), but could still anecdotally constitute 10-20% of girls just based on what I've observed on university campuses. These are the kind of girls that totally don't sexually signal in a visual manner, have almost never dated, somewhat shy, sheepish around any sign of a sexual topic.
        Jemmeh 9y ago
        As an Asian woman in CS...I really don't see that as a lack of attraction (they'll talk about it with other ladies) so much as a just raised to not talk about it too openly and especially with men. At least here (USA) women in general also get a lot of shit in general for appearing sexual(What a slut, so easy, etc). But I feel like it's worse in most of the Asian families I know in a "you are ruined forever!" way and in a "focus on your studies/career!" way. Seriously have had my own family call me a ho for wearing lipstick and 2 inch heels lul. Ya still feel the feels, you just don't express it. On the other hand I have been meeting more people who say "it's not worth the hassle" for various reasons even if they experience sexual attraction. I've heard a lot of people say it's not worth all that effort.
        watwut 9y ago
        Being asexual and not being interested in night life are faaar from each other. Like, absurdly ridiculously far. For that matter, self control, ability to control impulses, introversion or being goal oriented does not make you asexual. Not does preference for sex only in context of long term relationship. Nor does modesty in clothing. (RELATED immodesty in clothing does not imply sex with random dudes nor interest in it. Pretty important.) Evangelical coservative white girls are not asexual either. They do however have opinions about when to sex, who to have sex and when not to. Edit: also, asexual people do enjoy nightlife and dancing and can wear sexy cloth. They don't care about sex part, but they do care about fun to similar extend as sexual people. After all, many sexual girls like to dance and want to dance, but did not came dance because they desperately seek sex.
- Xixi 9y ago
  There are also two concepts of being a virgin in Japan: never had sex at all, or only had sex with prostitutes. Depending on how you ask the question, a man who had sex with prostitutes might still answer that he is a virgin.
  - astrange 9y ago
    Yeah, I was thinking that was one reason to lie.
haZard_OS 9y ago
It's unlikely that many are lying. The phenomenon of the "Herbivore Man" has spread and there are now signs of a similar trend among some women. The perspective behind all this appears to be: "If I get involved in a relationship, even a purely sexual one, the time and effort required of me won't be worth the trouble. I would rather just do my own thing and spend time with platonic friends."

watwut 9y ago

The importance people put on other people's sex lives, whether them having too much sex or not enought sex is completely incomprehensible to me. Some livestyles, for example too much work/study or preference for being alone, leads itself to less sex, regard less of religion. The way some people treat sex as not just pleasant activity or something that we biologically wish for, but also something that you must have lest it is "damning" is odd.

neaden 9y ago
Western media has this super creepy obsession with Japanese sex lives that I really wish would just go away.
JDiculous 9y ago
People can live their sex lives however they want, nobody's dictating anything to anyone here. I'm no sex expert, but I'd bet that the majority of those 34 year old virgins - at least the men - would rather not be virgins.
- watwut 9y ago
  Sure. They also want might want cheaper healthcare, higher social status, better car, not be lonely, better health, some want deeper relationship, have children (not just because kids are result of sex), they dont travel enough and what not. But it is sex people systematically find damning and focus on.

Analemma_ 9y ago

There's a really good post on Tumblr that explains what the culture of intercourse is like in Japan: http://asukaskerian.tumblr.com/post/167188662255/sex-and-flirting-in-japan-originally-from-lj-user http://asukaskerian.tumblr.com/post/167188662255/sex-and-fli.... Various responses in the notes confirm that that's what it's like. Frankly, sex in Japan sounds miserable and I hardly blame them for not being particularly eager to have more of it

nicolas_t 9y ago
The sex part (passive and active) has not been my experience as a guy who lived in Japan but then again I'd say that both Japanese girlfriends I've had were rather atypical. Sex without showers being considered gross is true though. One factual error too is that maguro is an insult. Maguro is hardly considered to be a delicacy either, I mean it's the not so great part of the tuna... Otoro or chutoro would probably be more adequate if it were supposed to be named after delicacies but then that would conjure fat and oiliness which I'm not sure would make most girls happy. The rest is rather true with the exceptions that I've had drunk japanese girls be very direct about their intentions. So, while I agree that they tend to not be direct, alcohol does play a role. An average though, girls or guys who end up with foreign boyfriends or girlfriends will tend to be more open minded than the rest of the population, so there's a bit of a sampling bias.
- rangibaby 9y ago
  Calling someone a maguro is not positive or nice. It’s saying they are a dead fish. I don’t think the author has (much?) experience having sex with Japanese