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Speaking as a father of a large family ranging from 1 year to 14 years, to understand the child and their weaknesses and exposing them to the child at the appro

Speaking as a father of a large family ranging from 1 year to 14 years, to understand the child and their weaknesses and exposing them to the child at the appropriate time is paramount. When a toddler looks in the cabinet for toys and finds poison, we find that as an issue. So, we put the poison up, and/or install a lock. The same goes for the dangers of teens. They aren't ready for some things of internet, including porn and cyber bulling. As parents, we use parental controls to limit access to xrated channels on our tv. It makes sense to limit content to internet connected devices that do the same. We don't need a formalized study to see what access to porn can do to a person. It's been documented many times. My experience has been, at this point in a childs life, you need to have, or establish a good relationship with your child and help them understand that you are protecting them from harm that they don't fully understand yet. They need to understand this protection is a joint effort between you and them for their best interest. Some may say this is overprotected parenting. Let's not go overboard here. I've seen so many uninvolved parents, which is far worse than overprotected. I've found the middle ground is the most effective. Add controls to obvious problem sites and apps. Watch remotely from time to time (as sathackr said, trust but verify). Then, periodically, sit down with your child to see how they are doing and how you can help do the right thing online.

kristofferR 9y ago
> We don't need a formalized study to see what access to porn can do to a person. It's been documented many times. That's extremely dubious. Teenagers aren't being harmed by seing people having sex, they're mostly being harmed from being sheltered from it.
- martin1b 9y ago
  Explain to me why they are harmed by not seeing people having sex? Also, explain to me what benefit do they gain by seeing people having sex?
  - mercutio2 9y ago
    Making sex into an illicit thing, rather than just a private thing, frequently leaves teens with damaging relationships to their sexuality and others. The idea that a teen or pre-teen who’s interested isn’t finding porn through someone else’s computer is very likely mistaken. By forbidding access, you are losing your child’s trust, which likely forecloses on the opportunity to honestly and openly discuss healthy body image, respect, mutual pleasure, and the fact that porn star bodies are (often) to normal human bodies as toy soldiers are to human soldiers. Finally, forbidding access to something humans have an innate drive for is liable to make it into forbidden fruit, over-emphasizing, rather than de-emphasizing, the target.
    - martin1b 9y ago
      So you're suggesting the solution is to encourage watching porn or others while they have sex? How does watching others have sex enable more discussion on healthy body image? Why can't this conversation be started with images seen anywhere that have been altered? Let's discuss the negatives. Porn is anti-woman. It turns the woman into an object. You mention 'damaging relationships' by not watching sex. It is exactly the opposite. Porn damages current and future relationships by turning the woman (or man in some cases) into an object for personal pleasure, similar to a toy. A relationship founded on using each other for personal reasons, and not mutual respect and love, will only fail, and fail painfully. Not to mention any 'baggage' such as STDs, pregnancies, etc. These are the mistakes are what we aim to prevent our children from making until they reach a point of maturity to where they can reliably prevent them on their own.
      - mercutio2 9y ago
        I am certainly not suggesting that you push porn on your child. Rather, you seem to be suggesting you have to prevent your child from watching porn. I am suggesting forbidding porn, in private, is very likely to be counterproductive, because it is unlikely to succeed, it makes a reasonable human desire into something illicit, and is likely to instead result in a loss of trust + cause porn to be seen as forbidden (and thus attractive) fruit. Separately, I am suggesting that when a child is interested in porn, that’s an opportunity for a conversation about the problematic aspects of porn, respect, and fantasy vs. reality. Loss of trust makes that conversation less likely to be accessible, or at least less likely for that conversation to involve your child actually listening to you.

kristofferR 9y ago

> We don't need a formalized study to see what access to porn can do to a person. It's been documented many times. That's extremely dubious. Teenagers aren't being harmed by seing people having sex, they're mostly being harmed from being sheltered from it.

martin1b 9y ago
Explain to me why they are harmed by not seeing people having sex? Also, explain to me what benefit do they gain by seeing people having sex?
- mercutio2 9y ago
  Making sex into an illicit thing, rather than just a private thing, frequently leaves teens with damaging relationships to their sexuality and others. The idea that a teen or pre-teen who’s interested isn’t finding porn through someone else’s computer is very likely mistaken. By forbidding access, you are losing your child’s trust, which likely forecloses on the opportunity to honestly and openly discuss healthy body image, respect, mutual pleasure, and the fact that porn star bodies are (often) to normal human bodies as toy soldiers are to human soldiers. Finally, forbidding access to something humans have an innate drive for is liable to make it into forbidden fruit, over-emphasizing, rather than de-emphasizing, the target.
  - martin1b 9y ago
    So you're suggesting the solution is to encourage watching porn or others while they have sex? How does watching others have sex enable more discussion on healthy body image? Why can't this conversation be started with images seen anywhere that have been altered? Let's discuss the negatives. Porn is anti-woman. It turns the woman into an object. You mention 'damaging relationships' by not watching sex. It is exactly the opposite. Porn damages current and future relationships by turning the woman (or man in some cases) into an object for personal pleasure, similar to a toy. A relationship founded on using each other for personal reasons, and not mutual respect and love, will only fail, and fail painfully. Not to mention any 'baggage' such as STDs, pregnancies, etc. These are the mistakes are what we aim to prevent our children from making until they reach a point of maturity to where they can reliably prevent them on their own.
    - mercutio2 9y ago
      I am certainly not suggesting that you push porn on your child. Rather, you seem to be suggesting you have to prevent your child from watching porn. I am suggesting forbidding porn, in private, is very likely to be counterproductive, because it is unlikely to succeed, it makes a reasonable human desire into something illicit, and is likely to instead result in a loss of trust + cause porn to be seen as forbidden (and thus attractive) fruit. Separately, I am suggesting that when a child is interested in porn, that’s an opportunity for a conversation about the problematic aspects of porn, respect, and fantasy vs. reality. Loss of trust makes that conversation less likely to be accessible, or at least less likely for that conversation to involve your child actually listening to you.