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That's what makes parenting hard. You have to make those decisions. Ideally, you protect your child from things that will damage them permanently, but let them

That's what makes parenting hard. You have to make those decisions. Ideally, you protect your child from things that will damage them permanently, but let them enough freedom to experiment and get hurt, so they can have a true learning experience. For example, I don't think a 10 year old will develop an unhealthy attitude towards females just because of watching porn. I would guess you can talk about gender issues and even porn with a 10 year old to offset the effect of it. Essentially, if you have good communication with your child and keep him or her busy with healthy activities, he or she won't have much reason to do stupid stuff on the Internet. So your made up scenarios kind of predicate subpar parenting to begin with.

amerkhalid 8y ago
Personally, I am not too worried about porn. What worries me is disturbing news and sometimes gory details along with them. These things bother me for days as an adult. I cannot imagine what would happen to a young developing brain if a child read such things.
sathackr 8y ago
> Ideally, you protect your child from things that will damage them permanently, but let them enough freedom to experiment and get hurt, so they can have a true learning experience. Exactly what I'm trying to do by allowing most things that may be considered inappropriate and only blocking the worst. > For example, I don't think a 10 year old will develop an unhealthy attitude towards females just because of watching porn. I would guess you can talk about gender issues and even porn with a 10 year old to offset the effect of it. There are many studies that say otherwise. Also not every 10 year old is the same. There are certainly some that could watch porn without being affected, and others that should not. That's also my job as a parent -- to assess the childs capability to deal with something and tailor their environment to best match that, while addressing any deficiencies. > Essentially, if you have good communication with your child and keep him or her busy with healthy activities, he or she won't have much reason to do stupid stuff on the Internet. So your made up scenarios kind of predicate subpar parenting to begin with. In the nature vs nurture field, there is far more nature than I ever thought. He has not been significantly involved with his biological father for the majority(95%+) of his life, yet I see many of his father's behaviors in him. Childrens' behavior is a product of their environment, their parenting, as well as their genes. I can't say whether I'm a good parent or subpar, but I feel like I'm doing a much better job than many others that I see. Sure, I'm not perfect, but none of us are. The child I'm dealing with today is a result of my parenting, his mother's parenting, his parent's genes, and the environment he grew up in.
- michaelgrafl 8y ago
  I don't disagree with much - if anything - you've written. Also I think everyone is aware that different children have different needs at certain milestones in their development. I also agree that you have to tackle parenting on an individual basis because children's natures are so different (everyone with more than one kid knows this for sure). It's just that I'm not particularly worried about porn for exmaple. Certainly not enough to let my child know I'm monitoring him, signaling distrust and make him self-conscious about the things he searches for on the internet. I'd rather have him explore in privacy, and only intervent if that turns out to be a serious problem. So, no serious disagreements. Although I think your point about nurture vs. nature kind of contradicts your own stance.

amerkhalid 8y ago

Personally, I am not too worried about porn. What worries me is disturbing news and sometimes gory details along with them. These things bother me for days as an adult. I cannot imagine what would happen to a young developing brain if a child read such things.

sathackr 8y ago

> Ideally, you protect your child from things that will damage them permanently, but let them enough freedom to experiment and get hurt, so they can have a true learning experience. Exactly what I'm trying to do by allowing most things that may be considered inappropriate and only blocking the worst. > For example, I don't think a 10 year old will develop an unhealthy attitude towards females just because of watching porn. I would guess you can talk about gender issues and even porn with a 10 year old to offset the effect of it. There are many studies that say otherwise. Also not every 10 year old is the same. There are certainly some that could watch porn without being affected, and others that should not. That's also my job as a parent -- to assess the childs capability to deal with something and tailor their environment to best match that, while addressing any deficiencies. > Essentially, if you have good communication with your child and keep him or her busy with healthy activities, he or she won't have much reason to do stupid stuff on the Internet. So your made up scenarios kind of predicate subpar parenting to begin with. In the nature vs nurture field, there is far more nature than I ever thought. He has not been significantly involved with his biological father for the majority(95%+) of his life, yet I see many of his father's behaviors in him. Childrens' behavior is a product of their environment, their parenting, as well as their genes. I can't say whether I'm a good parent or subpar, but I feel like I'm doing a much better job than many others that I see. Sure, I'm not perfect, but none of us are. The child I'm dealing with today is a result of my parenting, his mother's parenting, his parent's genes, and the environment he grew up in.

michaelgrafl 8y ago
I don't disagree with much - if anything - you've written. Also I think everyone is aware that different children have different needs at certain milestones in their development. I also agree that you have to tackle parenting on an individual basis because children's natures are so different (everyone with more than one kid knows this for sure). It's just that I'm not particularly worried about porn for exmaple. Certainly not enough to let my child know I'm monitoring him, signaling distrust and make him self-conscious about the things he searches for on the internet. I'd rather have him explore in privacy, and only intervent if that turns out to be a serious problem. So, no serious disagreements. Although I think your point about nurture vs. nature kind of contradicts your own stance.