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Did you read the article before writing this presumptive and judgmental comment? She had a difficult pregnancy and thought this would be her only chance to hav

Did you read the article before writing this presumptive and judgmental comment? She had a difficult pregnancy and thought this would be her only chance to have a child. She left her job to avoid being exposed to harsh chemicals that could jeopardize her pregnancy. On welfare, she was allotted only $180/mo for necessities beside food. When her partner got a job, she was disqualified for the assistance—he had to work 18 hours a month just to make up the aid they no longer received. She struggled to find a job herself but ultimately got one. The article notes that the average diaper is $0.25, so your 360 would cost $90 on average, 1/4 of her monthly assistance on one item alone—assuming she only needs 6 diapers per day, which sounds like a low estimate. She did proactively seek out coupons and discounts, and decreased the frequency of changes—which had minor medical consequences. The article is about the plight of a mother who faced adversity in providing for her son, but persevered the best she could. I defy you to justify your claim that her priorities were wrong, or that she was unfit to be a parent. Perhaps the only disqualifying attribute for parenthood is the utter lack of empathy for another human being.

mantas 9y ago
The whole discussion started about buying diapers in bulk to save a ton. Nobody is saying that $90/mo for diapers is reasonable. But $30 for 2 months worth of diapers (as OP claimed) is kinda reasonable. And if she is getting 180/mo allowance, she definitely has that $30 on hand to buy in bulk.
raiyu 9y ago
Well technically speaking, you kind of pointed out yourself how the mother is sort of an unfit parent. Parenting is to provide for the child, not just emotionally, which I'm sure this mother does a tremendous job of, given how much she has sacrificed for the child's well being, but also to provide physically as well. It seems like the couple were on the border of poverty before the child was conceived, so it wasn't a wise financial decision to do so. Yes it's a rough situation, but as many commenters have pointed out you can do cloth diapers, more tedious to clean, but saves you supposed $1,000. As others have also pointed out you can goto Church or various other organizations that provide support. And more importantly you could have budgeted and realized, though you want to have a child, this is probably a bad decision. Kids get more expensive as they grow up, not less, so if there are already issues around diapers, the situation will only get worse as time goes on. Just saying, this isn't an unwanted pregnancy, this was a predetermined choice, so certainly some accounting and pre-planning could have been involved to show, this is definitely a bad decision before hand and will create a tremendous amount of strain on the parents as well as eventually on the child.
GordonS 9y ago
> Did you read the article before writing this presumptive and judgmental comment? Yes, I read it, but I was talking generally, and not passing judgement on this specific case... but since you mention it, this mother chose to have her child - it's her responsibility to ensure that she has the financial means to provide for it. > The article notes that the average diaper is $0.25, so your 360 would cost $90 on average So... don't buy the average-priced nappies - buy cheaper ones, such as those that one of the parent posters mentioned (the 360 for $30). Or (especially if she isn't working) , cloth nappies are a cheap option too. > assuming she only needs 6 diapers per day, which sounds like a low estimate I've got kids. 6 nappies a day is actually a high estimate. They need 6-8 for the first few weeks, sure, but then it goes down. My 1 year old needs 2-4 nappies a day. > When her partner got a job, she was disqualified for the assistance—he had to work 18 hours a month just to make up the aid they no longer received. She struggled to find a job herself but ultimately got one. > The article is about the plight of a mother who faced adversity in providing for her son, but persevered the best she could. I defy you to justify your claim that her priorities were wrong, or that she was unfit to be a parent. As I explained, I was talking generally, not about this specific case. I do feel for this woman - it sounds like a really shitty situation (no pun intended!). Also, the benefits system (just as in the UK) can sometimes hurt, such as when her partner got a job. Also shitty. > Perhaps the only disqualifying attribute for parenthood is the utter lack of empathy for another human being. I don't lack empathy; I just don't like parents that don't prioritise their kids, and those that make the conscious decision to bring children into the world without thinking of whether they can actually provide for them, emotionally and financially - oh, and apologists for them.

mantas 9y ago

The whole discussion started about buying diapers in bulk to save a ton. Nobody is saying that $90/mo for diapers is reasonable. But $30 for 2 months worth of diapers (as OP claimed) is kinda reasonable. And if she is getting 180/mo allowance, she definitely has that $30 on hand to buy in bulk.

raiyu 9y ago

Well technically speaking, you kind of pointed out yourself how the mother is sort of an unfit parent. Parenting is to provide for the child, not just emotionally, which I'm sure this mother does a tremendous job of, given how much she has sacrificed for the child's well being, but also to provide physically as well. It seems like the couple were on the border of poverty before the child was conceived, so it wasn't a wise financial decision to do so. Yes it's a rough situation, but as many commenters have pointed out you can do cloth diapers, more tedious to clean, but saves you supposed $1,000. As others have also pointed out you can goto Church or various other organizations that provide support. And more importantly you could have budgeted and realized, though you want to have a child, this is probably a bad decision. Kids get more expensive as they grow up, not less, so if there are already issues around diapers, the situation will only get worse as time goes on. Just saying, this isn't an unwanted pregnancy, this was a predetermined choice, so certainly some accounting and pre-planning could have been involved to show, this is definitely a bad decision before hand and will create a tremendous amount of strain on the parents as well as eventually on the child.

GordonS 9y ago

> Did you read the article before writing this presumptive and judgmental comment? Yes, I read it, but I was talking generally, and not passing judgement on this specific case... but since you mention it, this mother chose to have her child - it's her responsibility to ensure that she has the financial means to provide for it. > The article notes that the average diaper is $0.25, so your 360 would cost $90 on average So... don't buy the average-priced nappies - buy cheaper ones, such as those that one of the parent posters mentioned (the 360 for $30). Or (especially if she isn't working) , cloth nappies are a cheap option too. > assuming she only needs 6 diapers per day, which sounds like a low estimate I've got kids. 6 nappies a day is actually a high estimate. They need 6-8 for the first few weeks, sure, but then it goes down. My 1 year old needs 2-4 nappies a day. > When her partner got a job, she was disqualified for the assistance—he had to work 18 hours a month just to make up the aid they no longer received. She struggled to find a job herself but ultimately got one. > The article is about the plight of a mother who faced adversity in providing for her son, but persevered the best she could. I defy you to justify your claim that her priorities were wrong, or that she was unfit to be a parent. As I explained, I was talking generally, not about this specific case. I do feel for this woman - it sounds like a really shitty situation (no pun intended!). Also, the benefits system (just as in the UK) can sometimes hurt, such as when her partner got a job. Also shitty. > Perhaps the only disqualifying attribute for parenthood is the utter lack of empathy for another human being. I don't lack empathy; I just don't like parents that don't prioritise their kids, and those that make the conscious decision to bring children into the world without thinking of whether they can actually provide for them, emotionally and financially - oh, and apologists for them.