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Just[0] reminds me of what some people attribute as the 'narcissist's prayer'[1]. [0] >First of all, I don't have a dog. >And if I had a dog, it doesn't bite

Just[0] reminds me of what some people attribute as the 'narcissist's prayer'[1]. [0] >First of all, I don't have a dog. >And if I had a dog, it doesn't bite. >And if I had a dog and it did bite, then it didn't bite you. >And if I had a dog and it did bite, and it bit you, then you provoked the dog." [1] >That didn't happen. >And if it did, it wasn't that bad. >And if it was, that's not a big deal. >And if it is, that's not my fault. >And if it was, I didn't mean it. >And if I did... You deserved it.

scrpn 9y ago
How to deal with someone that behaves like this, when leaving is not an option?
- yason 9y ago
  Leaving is the only option.
- darrelld 9y ago
  You use the gray rock method on them. Essentially you do not emotionally engage with them, be as boring as possible so they move on to other targets for narcissistic supply. I was tangled up with a narc for over 18 years and didn't know what I was dealing with. It's one of the most soul-crushing things if you don't know what's going on. When figured out what I was dealing with, it was like waking up out of a coma.
- cturner 9y ago
  Try the Pieter Hintjens psycopath book. Overlook that he uses a non-clinical use of the word psycopath. Pretend he instead wrote vampire, and read for the content. He gives strategies that do not involve leaving, and that seek to build you to a position of strength so your antagonist has to bend. (I have not had cause to test any of it, so no annecdotal endorsements herr)
scardine 9y ago
In Brazil it is the main defense of former president "Lula" da Silva: * Lula didn't took bribes. * And if he did, it was peanuts. * And even if he took a lot of cash it is way less then the other politicians. * And if it is, it is not his fault - the system is like that and he would not be elected without bribery. * And if it was, he didn't mean it. * And if he did, it was in the best interest of the poor.
draw_down 9y ago
The prolog is “I don’t like how you’re acting or have acted, therefore you’re a narcissist” ;)

scrpn 9y ago

How to deal with someone that behaves like this, when leaving is not an option?

yason 9y ago
Leaving is the only option.
darrelld 9y ago
You use the gray rock method on them. Essentially you do not emotionally engage with them, be as boring as possible so they move on to other targets for narcissistic supply. I was tangled up with a narc for over 18 years and didn't know what I was dealing with. It's one of the most soul-crushing things if you don't know what's going on. When figured out what I was dealing with, it was like waking up out of a coma.
cturner 9y ago
Try the Pieter Hintjens psycopath book. Overlook that he uses a non-clinical use of the word psycopath. Pretend he instead wrote vampire, and read for the content. He gives strategies that do not involve leaving, and that seek to build you to a position of strength so your antagonist has to bend. (I have not had cause to test any of it, so no annecdotal endorsements herr)

scardine 9y ago

In Brazil it is the main defense of former president "Lula" da Silva: * Lula didn't took bribes. * And if he did, it was peanuts. * And even if he took a lot of cash it is way less then the other politicians. * And if it is, it is not his fault - the system is like that and he would not be elected without bribery. * And if it was, he didn't mean it. * And if he did, it was in the best interest of the poor.

draw_down 9y ago

The prolog is “I don’t like how you’re acting or have acted, therefore you’re a narcissist” ;)