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I'm 32. I only see people on a few days of the week, some days I don't leave my house. I'm not axious, but I seem to think, "Why leave? My stuff is here, I c

I'm 32. I only see people on a few days of the week, some days I don't leave my house. I'm not axious, but I seem to think, "Why leave? My stuff is here, I can do all my work and socialize from the internet." Part of the problem is I'm starting a company, and am on low finances until it launches. So, I'm car-less, in a city not really meant to be walked, and it's a small town, so not much happens anyway. Part of me wants to take a cheap job washing dishes, so at least I see people regularly, but I know it would be a waste of my talent, and I would hate it and quit after a day ( seeing how futile it was ), but seriously.. yea, I get what they mean. Sorry I'm not being extremely articulate, I'm trying to wrap my head around the utility and role of the internet in my life moving forward.

bufferoverflow 9y ago
I find most people IRL are very boring. Out of all the people surround me there's one guy who I can talk to about life extension, robots, AI, etc. Everyone else is busy with meaningless everyday news and/or sports and/or generic entertainment shows, almost nobody has cool hobbies or even interests.
- hobbylobber 9y ago
  There are other interests besides what you might find on HN. Talk to someone about law or music or philosophy or art. Not everyone particularly cares about life extension, robots, or AI (I certainly don’t). Maybe it’s not that everyone is boring, but rather that they simply don’t share your interests.
soperj 9y ago
I moved to a big city (Toronto) and was doing the same thing, and felt like it was equally hard to meet people. I took a job making $8 and half a quarter and hour (weird owners) in the warehouse of a music store. Still some of the best people I know were ones I met there.
ohyes 9y ago
> but I know it would be a waste of my talent But if it would make you happier, how can it be a waste?
- danschumann 9y ago
  I wouldn't be happier because I'd be wondering what I could be doing that would be more fulfilling. Part of me would be happier, but more of me would still be miserable. I think if/when I launch and can get some employees, an office, a cool culture, and some momentum, I'll be happier. Right now I'm just going through a tough time.
  - ohyes 9y ago
    I mean, wouldn’t it be better to say the startup fantasy might make you happier? It also might make you miserable, I’ve seen both and I’ve been both in the same situation within the same day or week. We spend a lot of our lives holding out for a future that may or may not happen, and may or may not play out as we intend. It’s important to strike a balance between the (very important) future planning and the living in the present as best we can. If you’re truly unhappy you should change something, it doesn’t have to be a drastic lifestyle change, just something that pushes you in the direction of feeling better about yourself and being a whole person. In reality there’s no time other than the present, the world is too chaotic for any of our beliefs about the future to come true in detail. This isn’t to quash your dreams, but being a dreamer is presumably part of the bigger picture of you as a contented person.
return0 9y ago
try getting a part time gig in a technical field instead, it will lead to more relevant encounters and will definitely ease the anxiety of spending too much time alone.
- danschumann 9y ago
  I do freelance every day, and have an 8am standup. I think part of my rut is not exercising enough.
it_learnses 9y ago
I'm in a similar boat. I tried doing dishes, but my back started hurting in 3 hours from standing. And I consider myself fit...
srtjstjsj 9y ago
You would likely benefit from buying a small vehicle like a motorscooter or electric bicycle, and working at a library or coffee shop
reureu 9y ago
Volunteer. Find something that's not technical but you could see yourself enjoying, and commit to doing it once a week for 6 months. Serving food at a homeless shelter, taking care of animals at the humane society, picking up trash in local parks, helping organize youth events. Don't do something technical, since you'll just feel like "I should be working on my company or consulting to make money." Anecdotally, when there are no dollars attached to the activity, you don't fall into the "it's a waste of my talent, I could be making money to live off" (I wash dishes as part of my volunteer gig, and actually find I really enjoy it - as one of my friends said, "you couldn't pay me to do this kind of work"). But there's a lot of literature that supports that volunteering can make you happier and help deal with social isolation. I live in a sleepy town in the SF Bay Area, and am exactly the same - there are days where I just don't talk to anybody. I don't feel anxious, but I feel kinda empty or lonely. I don't always want to go into the city because it's a hike, and I'm not sure what'd I'd do when I get there anyway. I found a volunteer organization that I go to two days per week, and have made friends and now occasionally hang out with them outside of the volunteer setting. The impersonal nature of HN and reddit made it a suboptimal replacement for actual face-to-face contact. Not to mention I find it more pleasant to spend some of my time not surrounded by startup and the tech world.

bufferoverflow 9y ago

I find most people IRL are very boring. Out of all the people surround me there's one guy who I can talk to about life extension, robots, AI, etc. Everyone else is busy with meaningless everyday news and/or sports and/or generic entertainment shows, almost nobody has cool hobbies or even interests.

hobbylobber 9y ago
There are other interests besides what you might find on HN. Talk to someone about law or music or philosophy or art. Not everyone particularly cares about life extension, robots, or AI (I certainly don’t). Maybe it’s not that everyone is boring, but rather that they simply don’t share your interests.

soperj 9y ago

I moved to a big city (Toronto) and was doing the same thing, and felt like it was equally hard to meet people. I took a job making $8 and half a quarter and hour (weird owners) in the warehouse of a music store. Still some of the best people I know were ones I met there.

ohyes 9y ago

> but I know it would be a waste of my talent But if it would make you happier, how can it be a waste?

danschumann 9y ago
I wouldn't be happier because I'd be wondering what I could be doing that would be more fulfilling. Part of me would be happier, but more of me would still be miserable. I think if/when I launch and can get some employees, an office, a cool culture, and some momentum, I'll be happier. Right now I'm just going through a tough time.
- ohyes 9y ago
  I mean, wouldn’t it be better to say the startup fantasy might make you happier? It also might make you miserable, I’ve seen both and I’ve been both in the same situation within the same day or week. We spend a lot of our lives holding out for a future that may or may not happen, and may or may not play out as we intend. It’s important to strike a balance between the (very important) future planning and the living in the present as best we can. If you’re truly unhappy you should change something, it doesn’t have to be a drastic lifestyle change, just something that pushes you in the direction of feeling better about yourself and being a whole person. In reality there’s no time other than the present, the world is too chaotic for any of our beliefs about the future to come true in detail. This isn’t to quash your dreams, but being a dreamer is presumably part of the bigger picture of you as a contented person.

return0 9y ago

try getting a part time gig in a technical field instead, it will lead to more relevant encounters and will definitely ease the anxiety of spending too much time alone.

danschumann 9y ago
I do freelance every day, and have an 8am standup. I think part of my rut is not exercising enough.

it_learnses 9y ago

I'm in a similar boat. I tried doing dishes, but my back started hurting in 3 hours from standing. And I consider myself fit...

srtjstjsj 9y ago

You would likely benefit from buying a small vehicle like a motorscooter or electric bicycle, and working at a library or coffee shop

reureu 9y ago

Volunteer. Find something that's not technical but you could see yourself enjoying, and commit to doing it once a week for 6 months. Serving food at a homeless shelter, taking care of animals at the humane society, picking up trash in local parks, helping organize youth events. Don't do something technical, since you'll just feel like "I should be working on my company or consulting to make money." Anecdotally, when there are no dollars attached to the activity, you don't fall into the "it's a waste of my talent, I could be making money to live off" (I wash dishes as part of my volunteer gig, and actually find I really enjoy it - as one of my friends said, "you couldn't pay me to do this kind of work"). But there's a lot of literature that supports that volunteering can make you happier and help deal with social isolation. I live in a sleepy town in the SF Bay Area, and am exactly the same - there are days where I just don't talk to anybody. I don't feel anxious, but I feel kinda empty or lonely. I don't always want to go into the city because it's a hike, and I'm not sure what'd I'd do when I get there anyway. I found a volunteer organization that I go to two days per week, and have made friends and now occasionally hang out with them outside of the volunteer setting. The impersonal nature of HN and reddit made it a suboptimal replacement for actual face-to-face contact. Not to mention I find it more pleasant to spend some of my time not surrounded by startup and the tech world.