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This makes me so anxious and depressed. I'm convinced that nothing will make you more unhappy than reading articles like this about how you're doing your life w

This makes me so anxious and depressed. I'm convinced that nothing will make you more unhappy than reading articles like this about how you're doing your life wrong. A good life seems to come from being content with a bad one.

marcofloriano 9y ago
Actually your comment makes me sad. The article is pretty good and realistic. Life is hard and real. But when you savor it with the right things (God, family and friends for me) it's amazing! Short, but amazing
bpchaps 9y ago
Could you expand on why it makes you anxious and depressed?
- cgag 9y ago
  Why reading about how short life is and how you're likely currently wasting yours? How could it possibly not?
  - dwaltrip 9y ago
    I take it as a reminder to reflect every now and then, when I have the energy to do so. When reflecting, I check to make sure I'm striving to live in a way that aligns with my values and long-term goals, and that my values and goals still make sense, given my current understanding of myself and life.
- cmdli 9y ago
  I'm not the person you're replying to, but I can speak for myself. There's a lot of anxiety in the idea that you're "wasting" your life. You feel anxious about every day, worrying that you aren't doing enough even though you don't really want to do more. For instance, I might worry too much that I'm using my free time poorly that I don't enjoy it, and therefore waste it, which only causes me to think that I am wasting my life. Some amount of stress/anxiety is good because it gets you out of bed and doing something, but encouraging it too much is debilitating.
  - alecco 9y ago
    That anxiety is good, it means you still care and are not jaded. That anxiety goes away when you do little things to move forward, even if it's inch-by-inch. Start with baby steps to get used to good habits. If you do no exercise, start doing 2 pushups or 2 squats. Clean your room. Organize your house a bit. Make a very easy to follow, unambitious schedule. Once you get comfortable, refine it very slowly. If you are going to use social networks to stay in contact with friends, keep a countdown. 20 minutes a day total works for me. Same for TV/Netflix/reddit. Meet up with your folks more often, listen more and don't be a drag. Try to stay positive in spite of a bad situation. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Go to bed early and listen to interesting audiobooks. You either fall asleep early or you advance your reading, win-win. Start decreasing the amount of processed foods and replace all drinks to water or tea. The key is you gradually change as you need to retrain your brain to good habits. Same with your gut microbiome and your fitness. You don't know your full potential. (Many bits taken from JP)
  - 50 9y ago
    It's funny, we have been conditioned to feel like life is short and we all have this need to make the most of it (whatever the fuck that means). But the latter is the very reason why we tend to suffer: we are attached to what is impermanent and become anxious trying to pin it down and make the ‘most’ of it. One of the teachings of buddhism is to recognize this impermance. Everything we think, see, or know is fleeting, without any substance of its own. This includes all emotions, as well as, the idea of being an individual that is born and dies. The phenomenal world appears but it is nothing but a dance of nothingness. Everything already is. Relax. Nothing needs to be done. There is no need to be anything special. Look at the sky all night. Start a start-up. Stay in bed all day. It makes no difference. Whatever you are doing, you are already dancing in the dance of nothingness. Be there.
    - bpchaps 9y ago
      The problem with this idea is that it ignores the suffering of others. Not to say that we should all invest our entirety into helping others, but this sort of thinking puts those interested in helping others into a weird exclusionary position. In other words, never forgot about those who choose to "throw their body on the gears".
psyc 9y ago
I'm quite happy now, and the subjective 'goodness' of my life as it is, does indeed come from being content with and making the most of what I have, even though I suspect many people would find it really bad and out of balance along the usual dimensions. I'll say a little bit about my personal perception of life's length. I've always thought it was long. Too long. And I still do. My school-age years lasted an eternity, and that was an eternity ago. From 18-22, when I was homeless, lasted an eternity, and that was an eternity ago. From 22-28, my early career when I was struggling to establish myself, was an eternity. From 28-34, when I had the most material comfort, career success, world travel, friends, hobbies, and lovers... well of course that went by too fast, but boy was it packed! From 34-38, when I struggled and suffered after the onset of Bipolar 1, and slowly learning to live with it while struggling with spotty employment, ruined credit, alienation, and more homelessness, was an eternity. The next 2 years, when I finally got around to doing the work I really wanted to do, flew by in a blur of happy 100+ hour weeks. Now I'm 40, and time is going faster, but it's possible that life is only half over. On one hand, that seems incomprehensible to me. How can I only be half-done? If I learned I would definitely die tomorrow, I would still consider my life to have been very, very long, and very full. But in another sense, no amount of time is enough to do all the work I want to do. I have at least a dozen large project ideas, designed on paper in a fair amount of detail, that life is too short to do. I probably have enough time for 2 of them. That is a little bit frustrating, but meh. I'm trying to resolve these two different views. Basically, for the specific purpose of finishing a dozen ambitious personal projects, life is too short. I do the best I can by spending very little time doing paid work, and living like a monk to afford it. But the subjective feeling about the length of the journey - all its different chapters that seem like eons, each one like its own lifetime - my feeling is that it is TOO DAMN LONG.
- anothergoogler 9y ago
  > Now I'm 40, and time is going faster, but it's possible that life is only half over. Maybe it's only 1/3 over, or depending on medical advances, less than that!
  - psyc 9y ago
    Maybe, although I smoked a pack a day and drank heavily for 15 years to try to head off being undermined by medical advances!
projektir 9y ago
Agreed, life is a lot more enjoyable when you don't worry too much about how you're living it wrong and wasting it. I especially find the "you only get X weekends with Y" formulation depressing. It makes it sound worse than it is, and enforces a valuation that may not at all be true for you.
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- matte_black 9y ago
  even worse are revelations such as “You’ve already had 90% of the social interaction you’ll ever have with X person”, where X could be someone like your mother or father.
  - Avshalom 9y ago
    for some people thats "even better" not worse.
  - sattoshi 9y ago
    Time is such a lousy metric for things like that. I get so much more out of an hour with my mother than I would have when I was 6. That 5% of time may be a significant portion of the experience (for lack of a better word).
- st26 9y ago
  It's a very bleak way to look at it, but sometimes it's a splash of cold water to help you get your priorities straight.
mentos 9y ago
I have come to terms with life being short and the fear of 'missing out' by realizing that the gift of life can be appreciated in one breath. The fact that life exists and we get to experience even a single moment of self aware consciousness is the incredible beauty. Everything else after that is a bonus and I try to remind myself I am greedy for ever wanting more.
- shrimpx 9y ago
  This view is precisely what "stoicism" means to me.
salawat 9y ago
You can't look at it that way. I mean, while that IS a valid approach, you have to also keep in mind that the more you can "go without", the better the position you are in to improve your life. To change requires you not to be running at 100% all the time. You have to find a way to save some oomph for lateral growth when the way up seems to be blocked. Without that oomph, you'll never get out of where you are.
unixhero 9y ago
I found the comments here comforting tho. I fully agree, I will not read this article. Depression trigger warning. Not every one is a billionaire and can choose precisely what do to so as to not "waste his time".

marcofloriano 9y ago

Actually your comment makes me sad. The article is pretty good and realistic. Life is hard and real. But when you savor it with the right things (God, family and friends for me) it's amazing! Short, but amazing

bpchaps 9y ago

Could you expand on why it makes you anxious and depressed?

cgag 9y ago
Why reading about how short life is and how you're likely currently wasting yours? How could it possibly not?
- dwaltrip 9y ago
  I take it as a reminder to reflect every now and then, when I have the energy to do so. When reflecting, I check to make sure I'm striving to live in a way that aligns with my values and long-term goals, and that my values and goals still make sense, given my current understanding of myself and life.
cmdli 9y ago
I'm not the person you're replying to, but I can speak for myself. There's a lot of anxiety in the idea that you're "wasting" your life. You feel anxious about every day, worrying that you aren't doing enough even though you don't really want to do more. For instance, I might worry too much that I'm using my free time poorly that I don't enjoy it, and therefore waste it, which only causes me to think that I am wasting my life. Some amount of stress/anxiety is good because it gets you out of bed and doing something, but encouraging it too much is debilitating.
- alecco 9y ago
  That anxiety is good, it means you still care and are not jaded. That anxiety goes away when you do little things to move forward, even if it's inch-by-inch. Start with baby steps to get used to good habits. If you do no exercise, start doing 2 pushups or 2 squats. Clean your room. Organize your house a bit. Make a very easy to follow, unambitious schedule. Once you get comfortable, refine it very slowly. If you are going to use social networks to stay in contact with friends, keep a countdown. 20 minutes a day total works for me. Same for TV/Netflix/reddit. Meet up with your folks more often, listen more and don't be a drag. Try to stay positive in spite of a bad situation. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Go to bed early and listen to interesting audiobooks. You either fall asleep early or you advance your reading, win-win. Start decreasing the amount of processed foods and replace all drinks to water or tea. The key is you gradually change as you need to retrain your brain to good habits. Same with your gut microbiome and your fitness. You don't know your full potential. (Many bits taken from JP)
- 50 9y ago
  It's funny, we have been conditioned to feel like life is short and we all have this need to make the most of it (whatever the fuck that means). But the latter is the very reason why we tend to suffer: we are attached to what is impermanent and become anxious trying to pin it down and make the ‘most’ of it. One of the teachings of buddhism is to recognize this impermance. Everything we think, see, or know is fleeting, without any substance of its own. This includes all emotions, as well as, the idea of being an individual that is born and dies. The phenomenal world appears but it is nothing but a dance of nothingness. Everything already is. Relax. Nothing needs to be done. There is no need to be anything special. Look at the sky all night. Start a start-up. Stay in bed all day. It makes no difference. Whatever you are doing, you are already dancing in the dance of nothingness. Be there.
  - bpchaps 9y ago
    The problem with this idea is that it ignores the suffering of others. Not to say that we should all invest our entirety into helping others, but this sort of thinking puts those interested in helping others into a weird exclusionary position. In other words, never forgot about those who choose to "throw their body on the gears".

psyc 9y ago

I'm quite happy now, and the subjective 'goodness' of my life as it is, does indeed come from being content with and making the most of what I have, even though I suspect many people would find it really bad and out of balance along the usual dimensions. I'll say a little bit about my personal perception of life's length. I've always thought it was long. Too long. And I still do. My school-age years lasted an eternity, and that was an eternity ago. From 18-22, when I was homeless, lasted an eternity, and that was an eternity ago. From 22-28, my early career when I was struggling to establish myself, was an eternity. From 28-34, when I had the most material comfort, career success, world travel, friends, hobbies, and lovers... well of course that went by too fast, but boy was it packed! From 34-38, when I struggled and suffered after the onset of Bipolar 1, and slowly learning to live with it while struggling with spotty employment, ruined credit, alienation, and more homelessness, was an eternity. The next 2 years, when I finally got around to doing the work I really wanted to do, flew by in a blur of happy 100+ hour weeks. Now I'm 40, and time is going faster, but it's possible that life is only half over. On one hand, that seems incomprehensible to me. How can I only be half-done? If I learned I would definitely die tomorrow, I would still consider my life to have been very, very long, and very full. But in another sense, no amount of time is enough to do all the work I want to do. I have at least a dozen large project ideas, designed on paper in a fair amount of detail, that life is too short to do. I probably have enough time for 2 of them. That is a little bit frustrating, but meh. I'm trying to resolve these two different views. Basically, for the specific purpose of finishing a dozen ambitious personal projects, life is too short. I do the best I can by spending very little time doing paid work, and living like a monk to afford it. But the subjective feeling about the length of the journey - all its different chapters that seem like eons, each one like its own lifetime - my feeling is that it is TOO DAMN LONG.

anothergoogler 9y ago
> Now I'm 40, and time is going faster, but it's possible that life is only half over. Maybe it's only 1/3 over, or depending on medical advances, less than that!
- psyc 9y ago
  Maybe, although I smoked a pack a day and drank heavily for 15 years to try to head off being undermined by medical advances!

projektir 9y ago

Agreed, life is a lot more enjoyable when you don't worry too much about how you're living it wrong and wasting it. I especially find the "you only get X weekends with Y" formulation depressing. It makes it sound worse than it is, and enforces a valuation that may not at all be true for you.

deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
matte_black 9y ago
even worse are revelations such as “You’ve already had 90% of the social interaction you’ll ever have with X person”, where X could be someone like your mother or father.
- Avshalom 9y ago
  for some people thats "even better" not worse.
- sattoshi 9y ago
  Time is such a lousy metric for things like that. I get so much more out of an hour with my mother than I would have when I was 6. That 5% of time may be a significant portion of the experience (for lack of a better word).
st26 9y ago
It's a very bleak way to look at it, but sometimes it's a splash of cold water to help you get your priorities straight.

mentos 9y ago

I have come to terms with life being short and the fear of 'missing out' by realizing that the gift of life can be appreciated in one breath. The fact that life exists and we get to experience even a single moment of self aware consciousness is the incredible beauty. Everything else after that is a bonus and I try to remind myself I am greedy for ever wanting more.

shrimpx 9y ago
This view is precisely what "stoicism" means to me.

salawat 9y ago

You can't look at it that way. I mean, while that IS a valid approach, you have to also keep in mind that the more you can "go without", the better the position you are in to improve your life. To change requires you not to be running at 100% all the time. You have to find a way to save some oomph for lateral growth when the way up seems to be blocked. Without that oomph, you'll never get out of where you are.

unixhero 9y ago

I found the comments here comforting tho. I fully agree, I will not read this article. Depression trigger warning. Not every one is a billionaire and can choose precisely what do to so as to not "waste his time".