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Alright. This isn't Reddit, but: how do people find meaningful things to do (instead of addictive, unrewarding habits) when options, at any particular time, see

Alright. This isn't Reddit, but: how do people find meaningful things to do (instead of addictive, unrewarding habits) when options, at any particular time, seem to be very limited (i.e. I have 2 hours, starting now - what's available?)? Is it even possible to choose particular meaningful activities consciously (e.g. why would I expect travelling to X to be a great experience if I haven't done it before?), or do they happen by accident if you just expose yourself to many different situations (like having kids)? It seems like the "just say yes" principle is key - don't plan how to spend time based on what you know, just try more things and stop doing what turns out pointless. And, like pg writes, do it now. Practical result: it's probably better to go to a new club you don't know yet every time you go out, than to frequently visit your favourite one. Even if it feels wrong to habitual animals like us. Apologies for the rambling.

Woberto 9y ago
I think one of the most meaningful things in life for many people is connections to others, and it's something we can do easily during those periods that you mention. For example, PG's post made me think about how I could call my mom when taking a break since I don't see her often, and beyond that I should probably spend more time texting people and keeping up other such relationships.
- ranic 9y ago
  This is good advice. And as far as "single-player" activities are concerned, I think pursuing curiosities as far as your interest will go is a good way to discover new interests. Read an article on a topic you find compelling? Find additional reading material. Maybe take a class. Catch the urge to make something? Go for it. Something might stick or it may not. Either way, you'll have done something you might not have otherwise done and it won't have been a waste of time.
  - lazyjones 9y ago
    > I think pursuing curiosities as far as your interest will go is a good way to discover new interests. Read an article on a topic you find compelling? Find additional reading material As we get older, we develop stronger biases, so we think we can dismiss more and more as not worthwhile without even trying it. That's why I believe some outside influence is key.
- mehrdadn 9y ago
  What are your criteria for something to be "meaningful"? Does it have to be hard? Does it have to be emotional? Does it have to involve other people? Or can it just involve changing something for the better (e.g. via just a side coding project)? Because if I'm taking it at face value, to me, writing (say) a password manager that laymen and power users will all enjoy using (i.e. solving the password management problem once and for all) would be plenty meaningful, and it's easy enough to schedule into your spare time.
  - rsyngh 9y ago
    That's the weird thing about meaning it is completely subjective to that person.Having better connections with people especially one's immediate family and friends ,doing something that helps something larger you (like your pwd manager),etc has a good chance but does not gurantee meaning in one's life. Overcoming a challenge which is hard (but within your limits a hard) is an incredible thing to experience. As we humans are social creatures something emotional(mostly +ve) might also sustain your involvement in that activity and thus lead to eventual higher reward from that activity. But at the end for most people who are present here I think I can safely say that doing something which involves less screen time and more "physical interaction" with the world would be beneficial.
AndrewKemendo 9y ago
First thing you need to know is your goals explicitly and then map your estimation of what steps you need to take to get there. If you know those then you can work toward allocating your time optimally. Most people have no clue what their goals are or what really motivates them, so they just float along doing whatever arouses their interest (those addicting behaviors).
- dkoubsky 9y ago
  It also might be helpful to do the opposite. Write out what your life will be like if you continue down the wrong path or just let yourself go entirely. I think we all have some idea of what our lives would be like if we regress, I know mine would be especially terrifying. This way if you aren't motivated to chase your goals you will at least have something to run away from.
st26 9y ago
You need to restructure your life. Meaningful things tend to be hard to squeeze in to unplanned, random 2 hour blocks if they aren't already a part of your life. Trying to find canned meaning to fill your random 2 hour chunk seems vaguely like looking for the fast food that is every bit as healthy, cheap, and tasty as home cooking. Now, if you instead for example become a gardener and enjoy gardening, maybe you can take those 2 hours and spend them caring for the garden. In short, try to fill your life with good things you enjoy, instead of trying to find a meaningful peg that fits into an arbitrary hole of your specifications.
jonnybgood 9y ago
It's practicing a creative art for me. I took up the violin. One of the best decisions I ever made. I look forward to the day I can play for others.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
germinalphrase 9y ago
I started doing jiu jitsu after having a long conversation with my teenage students about video games. We all agreed that they are a wonderful way to burn some time - but also fully acknowledged that they only provide the illusion of accomplishment. Simply having fun is absolutely worth it, but so many games now require you to grind beyond the point that it's playfully fun. At the end of a long gaming session what do you actually leave with? Jiu jitsu is still a game of sorts; however, this game causes me to work out more intensely than I could ever do just by cranking out sit ups at the gym. I can measure my skills development pretty accurately based on what techniques I can pull off on skilled opponents. Abstractly, I can defend myself better (though that's not my purpose) and I prioritized it in my life so I can go roll with friends a few evenings a week. Look into a physical hobby. It has been an important change for me.
cgh 9y ago
I’m a rockclimber. It’s what I enjoy doing most so I fixed my life in order to climb more. In particular, I got remote work and moved to a climbing town. Now when I have a two hour break during the day, I dart out for some bouldering, which is approximately a five minute drive away. This took a lot of planning and sacrifice, especially when I first went remote, and it required me to come to terms with what it was I really wanted: a life mostly outdoors climbing rocks in a beautiful place. In short, figure out how you want to live and the steps to achieve it. Then your question of what to do with your two hours will answer itself.
Kuiper 9y ago
This seems really trivial, but I noticed an immediate quality of life increase when I switched from video games to physical pub games like darts and billiards. When I come away from an hour long video game session, my body has been physically sitting and staring at a screen as I move my fingers, so it's actually a physical state physical similar to "work" and doesn't actually leave me feeling energized and relaxed. If I spend an hour throwing darts or shooting pool (even alone at home as a solitary activity), I stand up (better for my posture) and my body feels like it's engaged in a physical task in a way that actually lets my mind relax. It leaves my brain (and mind) both feeling better. And there's also the fact that pub games lend themselves to the social "let's meet up with some friends at the pool hall" kind of activities more than video games do, at least my experience. Other examples of "physical" hobbies might include playing a musical instrument, creating something physical (woodworking, crocheting, origami, drawing, sewing, painting, cooking), these often tend to be the kind of quiet meditative activities that give your mind a rest and actually feel like taking a break from work (as opposed to certain video games, which can actually feel more stressful on a chemical level; one of the reasons I quit playing games like Dota and Counter-Strike is that I'm pretty sure they kept my adrenaline and cortisol levels high for an unhealthy amount of time). As an alternative to giving up video games, maybe consider playing different kinds of games. Even as I spend less time playing video games, I work in the video industry, and so I play a large variety (partly out of a sense of professional responsibility, and partly because I'm curious about what my friends in the industry are doing), but rather than spend 100 hours playing a Battlefield or Call of Duty each year I'll play a lot of smaller video games that deliver a complete experience in less than 5 hours. Playing a smaller narrative game like Night in the Woods felt like an emotionally fulfilling experience similar to watching a movie, whereas playing a multiplayer game like Battlefield or Overwatch just felt like hopping into an adrenaline-fueled meat grinder for an hour every day.
- spidey1 9y ago
  I've seen a similar result with video games. I'd much rather play a self contained single player game that I can play through once than be hooked into a multiplayer adrenaline fest (for me that was team fortress 2 and left 4 dead).
verylittlemeat 9y ago
Life is lived in every minute you're alive not in how you try to choose and partition it. Be present in every moment of your life and you will never be wasting time. Setting goals or being motivated out of fear that you're wasting your life is totally missing the forest for the trees.
marksbrown 9y ago
I found a project that was too big to ignore. I own and live on a narrowboat on the canals of the UK. It's been incredibly frustrating but in a good way. I found myself becoming too comfortable and that's how I was losing time.
heedlessly2 9y ago
HN probably isn't the best demographic to ask. Generally speaking, many people here would rather do open-source side projects in Blockchain or React Native and play video games.
ux4 9y ago
Work backwards. Envision the future you would like to live in 10 years and notice the details of that vision. For example, maybe you'd like to be living in a custom-built estate on Malé in the Maldive Islands, where you run your travel data business. Work backwards and decide what actions will lead you to this dream. Once you figure out those appropriate actions, decide what you can do in 2hr bursts. The hardest part will be finding what's "meaningful" to you, which will require some soul-searching.

Woberto 9y ago

I think one of the most meaningful things in life for many people is connections to others, and it's something we can do easily during those periods that you mention. For example, PG's post made me think about how I could call my mom when taking a break since I don't see her often, and beyond that I should probably spend more time texting people and keeping up other such relationships.

ranic 9y ago
This is good advice. And as far as "single-player" activities are concerned, I think pursuing curiosities as far as your interest will go is a good way to discover new interests. Read an article on a topic you find compelling? Find additional reading material. Maybe take a class. Catch the urge to make something? Go for it. Something might stick or it may not. Either way, you'll have done something you might not have otherwise done and it won't have been a waste of time.
- lazyjones 9y ago
  > I think pursuing curiosities as far as your interest will go is a good way to discover new interests. Read an article on a topic you find compelling? Find additional reading material As we get older, we develop stronger biases, so we think we can dismiss more and more as not worthwhile without even trying it. That's why I believe some outside influence is key.
mehrdadn 9y ago
What are your criteria for something to be "meaningful"? Does it have to be hard? Does it have to be emotional? Does it have to involve other people? Or can it just involve changing something for the better (e.g. via just a side coding project)? Because if I'm taking it at face value, to me, writing (say) a password manager that laymen and power users will all enjoy using (i.e. solving the password management problem once and for all) would be plenty meaningful, and it's easy enough to schedule into your spare time.
- rsyngh 9y ago
  That's the weird thing about meaning it is completely subjective to that person.Having better connections with people especially one's immediate family and friends ,doing something that helps something larger you (like your pwd manager),etc has a good chance but does not gurantee meaning in one's life. Overcoming a challenge which is hard (but within your limits a hard) is an incredible thing to experience. As we humans are social creatures something emotional(mostly +ve) might also sustain your involvement in that activity and thus lead to eventual higher reward from that activity. But at the end for most people who are present here I think I can safely say that doing something which involves less screen time and more "physical interaction" with the world would be beneficial.

AndrewKemendo 9y ago

First thing you need to know is your goals explicitly and then map your estimation of what steps you need to take to get there. If you know those then you can work toward allocating your time optimally. Most people have no clue what their goals are or what really motivates them, so they just float along doing whatever arouses their interest (those addicting behaviors).

dkoubsky 9y ago
It also might be helpful to do the opposite. Write out what your life will be like if you continue down the wrong path or just let yourself go entirely. I think we all have some idea of what our lives would be like if we regress, I know mine would be especially terrifying. This way if you aren't motivated to chase your goals you will at least have something to run away from.

st26 9y ago

You need to restructure your life. Meaningful things tend to be hard to squeeze in to unplanned, random 2 hour blocks if they aren't already a part of your life. Trying to find canned meaning to fill your random 2 hour chunk seems vaguely like looking for the fast food that is every bit as healthy, cheap, and tasty as home cooking. Now, if you instead for example become a gardener and enjoy gardening, maybe you can take those 2 hours and spend them caring for the garden. In short, try to fill your life with good things you enjoy, instead of trying to find a meaningful peg that fits into an arbitrary hole of your specifications.

jonnybgood 9y ago

It's practicing a creative art for me. I took up the violin. One of the best decisions I ever made. I look forward to the day I can play for others.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

germinalphrase 9y ago

I started doing jiu jitsu after having a long conversation with my teenage students about video games. We all agreed that they are a wonderful way to burn some time - but also fully acknowledged that they only provide the illusion of accomplishment. Simply having fun is absolutely worth it, but so many games now require you to grind beyond the point that it's playfully fun. At the end of a long gaming session what do you actually leave with? Jiu jitsu is still a game of sorts; however, this game causes me to work out more intensely than I could ever do just by cranking out sit ups at the gym. I can measure my skills development pretty accurately based on what techniques I can pull off on skilled opponents. Abstractly, I can defend myself better (though that's not my purpose) and I prioritized it in my life so I can go roll with friends a few evenings a week. Look into a physical hobby. It has been an important change for me.

cgh 9y ago

I’m a rockclimber. It’s what I enjoy doing most so I fixed my life in order to climb more. In particular, I got remote work and moved to a climbing town. Now when I have a two hour break during the day, I dart out for some bouldering, which is approximately a five minute drive away. This took a lot of planning and sacrifice, especially when I first went remote, and it required me to come to terms with what it was I really wanted: a life mostly outdoors climbing rocks in a beautiful place. In short, figure out how you want to live and the steps to achieve it. Then your question of what to do with your two hours will answer itself.

Kuiper 9y ago

This seems really trivial, but I noticed an immediate quality of life increase when I switched from video games to physical pub games like darts and billiards. When I come away from an hour long video game session, my body has been physically sitting and staring at a screen as I move my fingers, so it's actually a physical state physical similar to "work" and doesn't actually leave me feeling energized and relaxed. If I spend an hour throwing darts or shooting pool (even alone at home as a solitary activity), I stand up (better for my posture) and my body feels like it's engaged in a physical task in a way that actually lets my mind relax. It leaves my brain (and mind) both feeling better. And there's also the fact that pub games lend themselves to the social "let's meet up with some friends at the pool hall" kind of activities more than video games do, at least my experience. Other examples of "physical" hobbies might include playing a musical instrument, creating something physical (woodworking, crocheting, origami, drawing, sewing, painting, cooking), these often tend to be the kind of quiet meditative activities that give your mind a rest and actually feel like taking a break from work (as opposed to certain video games, which can actually feel more stressful on a chemical level; one of the reasons I quit playing games like Dota and Counter-Strike is that I'm pretty sure they kept my adrenaline and cortisol levels high for an unhealthy amount of time). As an alternative to giving up video games, maybe consider playing different kinds of games. Even as I spend less time playing video games, I work in the video industry, and so I play a large variety (partly out of a sense of professional responsibility, and partly because I'm curious about what my friends in the industry are doing), but rather than spend 100 hours playing a Battlefield or Call of Duty each year I'll play a lot of smaller video games that deliver a complete experience in less than 5 hours. Playing a smaller narrative game like Night in the Woods felt like an emotionally fulfilling experience similar to watching a movie, whereas playing a multiplayer game like Battlefield or Overwatch just felt like hopping into an adrenaline-fueled meat grinder for an hour every day.

spidey1 9y ago
I've seen a similar result with video games. I'd much rather play a self contained single player game that I can play through once than be hooked into a multiplayer adrenaline fest (for me that was team fortress 2 and left 4 dead).

verylittlemeat 9y ago

Life is lived in every minute you're alive not in how you try to choose and partition it. Be present in every moment of your life and you will never be wasting time. Setting goals or being motivated out of fear that you're wasting your life is totally missing the forest for the trees.

marksbrown 9y ago

I found a project that was too big to ignore. I own and live on a narrowboat on the canals of the UK. It's been incredibly frustrating but in a good way. I found myself becoming too comfortable and that's how I was losing time.

heedlessly2 9y ago

HN probably isn't the best demographic to ask. Generally speaking, many people here would rather do open-source side projects in Blockchain or React Native and play video games.

ux4 9y ago

Work backwards. Envision the future you would like to live in 10 years and notice the details of that vision. For example, maybe you'd like to be living in a custom-built estate on Malé in the Maldive Islands, where you run your travel data business. Work backwards and decide what actions will lead you to this dream. Once you figure out those appropriate actions, decide what you can do in 2hr bursts. The hardest part will be finding what's "meaningful" to you, which will require some soul-searching.