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> It took me about a year to recognize this pattern, but eventually I learned to catch myself whenever I was seeking this form of comfort Most of the advice fr

> It took me about a year to recognize this pattern, but eventually I learned to catch myself whenever I was seeking this form of comfort Most of the advice from self-help books can be condensed into this line - Recognizing a pattern and catching yourself. Only after this in place can a behavior/habit be replaced. Or improved. Or removed. If there is no self-awareness, changing behavior/habit is infinitely more difficult.

AnatMl2 9y ago
I would maybe partially agree. I personally mostly recognise the pattern, the problem is to find the strength to fight it, to want to change it at least. It's even more difficult if you are depressive. For more than a year I struggled with a depression and sometimes couldn't get out of bed, even though I worked and studied, cycled at least 3 times per week and was mostly active. I would fall asleep everywhere and anywhere I could and wouldn't miss an opportunity to lie in bed and watch Netflix. At some point I thought I was just exhausted and it was normal to take a (5 hours) nap. But I was tired all the time, wanted to sleep at the lectures and pushed my limits at work. I realised what was the problem, I just got used to this routine where I worked, attended classes and slept, but somehow I didn't want to change anything, I thought I was too tired to do it, or I could do more harm by doing it. I needed a lot of time to realize that I was wasting my time and was not productive neither at work nor at college. So around two months ago I decided to change things. I used the winter break to travel a bit and looked for a new job. But most importantly, I tried to find a kind of a workout where I could relax by exercising; so I started to do some yoga, which helped me get back my concentration and relax. My point is, that only recognising the pattern might not be enough. If there is not a desire to change it, it will not go away, so it kind of brings us back to the resistance part mentioned in the article. I think wanting to change the pattern is the resistance and "changing things and replacing the habits" is just another way of this same resistance.
- fjsolwmv 9y ago
  That sounds like anemia or some other form of malnutrition or fatigue syndrome
  - AnatMl2 9y ago
    I didn't think it was normal too, but my lab test results were saying I was perfectly healthy.
- cjarrett 9y ago
  Been at this stage for a year or so. Finally been trying to change it since January. Been difficult, but happy to have loving, familial support.
agumonkey 9y ago
There's a little thing that helps is the experience that correcting your self brings tangible benefits. When you felt it, the next time you will happily fix your problems. In a way I felt it was a worthy definition of being an adult. You suddenly strive for small but regular, organized, balanced .. instead of idle or intense (typical young adult maybe)
- ra88it 9y ago
  This is such an important point. I know some people who have made great efforts such as exercising more or quitting alcohol, but for whatever reason they claim to not perceive the purported benefit of their effort. I don't know how to help them, because for me, if I need more exercise, I perceive the "benefit" (mood improvement, etc.) usually almost immediately, like 5 minutes into it. When I cut out alcohol, I perceive improvements within 24 hours. It unsettles me to imagine if this was not the case.
  - agumonkey 9y ago
    This is why culture/education is important. You can rediscover this on your own but it may mean hitting bottom to actually try other strategies. Or you can rely on experience of others. Or at least a system that let you fall a bit and then give you incentives to go the other way.
  - kd5bjo 9y ago
    Regarding exercise, I may be able to provide some insight as I've gone through this transition over the past few years. Most likely, they're looking for the wrong benefits: As a society, we tend to center our advice to overweight people around "losing weight." It's a useful long-term diagnostic, but terrible as a day-to-day guide. The maximum safe rate of weight loss is 1-2 lbs/week, but your weight can easily fluctuate by 5 lbs through the course of the day -- even when doing everything right, you still have to go back a month to reliably find higher scale readings. As people chase scale readings, they tend to pass straight through the enjoyable activity range without noticing and into the range that requires burning willpower to continue. The trick is to focus on activities that are inherently enjoyable, and work on improving them. Lots of people that kill themselves running on the treadmill would be better served by a leisurely stroll outside. Eventually, they'll add in some jogging just because they feel like it, and they've started on an improvement path that's long-term sustainable.
burkemw3 9y ago
_The Power of Habit_ helped me understand it isn't just catching yourself, but catching yourself in the right place. The book calls discusses keystone habits. ([0] has some digital overview a the beginning) I think finding those keystone habits is difficult. GP figured it out, great! If you haven't figured yours out, I recommend continuing to observe and try different reactions to triggers, thoughts, feelings, etc. [0]: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/rl-adams/6-keystone-habits-to-help_b_8063212.html https://www.huffingtonpost.com/rl-adams/6-keystone-habits-to...

AnatMl2 9y ago

I would maybe partially agree. I personally mostly recognise the pattern, the problem is to find the strength to fight it, to want to change it at least. It's even more difficult if you are depressive. For more than a year I struggled with a depression and sometimes couldn't get out of bed, even though I worked and studied, cycled at least 3 times per week and was mostly active. I would fall asleep everywhere and anywhere I could and wouldn't miss an opportunity to lie in bed and watch Netflix. At some point I thought I was just exhausted and it was normal to take a (5 hours) nap. But I was tired all the time, wanted to sleep at the lectures and pushed my limits at work. I realised what was the problem, I just got used to this routine where I worked, attended classes and slept, but somehow I didn't want to change anything, I thought I was too tired to do it, or I could do more harm by doing it. I needed a lot of time to realize that I was wasting my time and was not productive neither at work nor at college. So around two months ago I decided to change things. I used the winter break to travel a bit and looked for a new job. But most importantly, I tried to find a kind of a workout where I could relax by exercising; so I started to do some yoga, which helped me get back my concentration and relax. My point is, that only recognising the pattern might not be enough. If there is not a desire to change it, it will not go away, so it kind of brings us back to the resistance part mentioned in the article. I think wanting to change the pattern is the resistance and "changing things and replacing the habits" is just another way of this same resistance.

fjsolwmv 9y ago
That sounds like anemia or some other form of malnutrition or fatigue syndrome
- AnatMl2 9y ago
  I didn't think it was normal too, but my lab test results were saying I was perfectly healthy.
cjarrett 9y ago
Been at this stage for a year or so. Finally been trying to change it since January. Been difficult, but happy to have loving, familial support.

agumonkey 9y ago

There's a little thing that helps is the experience that correcting your self brings tangible benefits. When you felt it, the next time you will happily fix your problems. In a way I felt it was a worthy definition of being an adult. You suddenly strive for small but regular, organized, balanced .. instead of idle or intense (typical young adult maybe)

ra88it 9y ago
This is such an important point. I know some people who have made great efforts such as exercising more or quitting alcohol, but for whatever reason they claim to not perceive the purported benefit of their effort. I don't know how to help them, because for me, if I need more exercise, I perceive the "benefit" (mood improvement, etc.) usually almost immediately, like 5 minutes into it. When I cut out alcohol, I perceive improvements within 24 hours. It unsettles me to imagine if this was not the case.
- agumonkey 9y ago
  This is why culture/education is important. You can rediscover this on your own but it may mean hitting bottom to actually try other strategies. Or you can rely on experience of others. Or at least a system that let you fall a bit and then give you incentives to go the other way.
- kd5bjo 9y ago
  Regarding exercise, I may be able to provide some insight as I've gone through this transition over the past few years. Most likely, they're looking for the wrong benefits: As a society, we tend to center our advice to overweight people around "losing weight." It's a useful long-term diagnostic, but terrible as a day-to-day guide. The maximum safe rate of weight loss is 1-2 lbs/week, but your weight can easily fluctuate by 5 lbs through the course of the day -- even when doing everything right, you still have to go back a month to reliably find higher scale readings. As people chase scale readings, they tend to pass straight through the enjoyable activity range without noticing and into the range that requires burning willpower to continue. The trick is to focus on activities that are inherently enjoyable, and work on improving them. Lots of people that kill themselves running on the treadmill would be better served by a leisurely stroll outside. Eventually, they'll add in some jogging just because they feel like it, and they've started on an improvement path that's long-term sustainable.

burkemw3 9y ago

_The Power of Habit_ helped me understand it isn't just catching yourself, but catching yourself in the right place. The book calls discusses keystone habits. ([0] has some digital overview a the beginning) I think finding those keystone habits is difficult. GP figured it out, great! If you haven't figured yours out, I recommend continuing to observe and try different reactions to triggers, thoughts, feelings, etc. [0]: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/rl-adams/6-keystone-habits-to-help_b_8063212.html https://www.huffingtonpost.com/rl-adams/6-keystone-habits-to...