> it is not our daughter's fault that she behaves this way That would be true no matter what. There's no basis for the full concept of "free will". Everyone is

> it is not our daughter's fault that she behaves this way That would be true no matter what. There's no basis for the full concept of "free will". Everyone is a product of biology, culture, context, etc. etc. The question is what capacity people have to behave in various ways given certain contexts. Most people can behave "normally" given the right context to do so. I suppose your daughter does not have that capacity (at least not to the normal level). So, having realistic expectations helps a lot. We all get angry at times, but it barely ever helps anything, and that's true regardless of all these other questions about autism etc.