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I'm curious about your "mask" statement. I have that same feeling, and experience with alcohol. Do you ever imagine yourself to be a robot? Or do you memoriz

I'm curious about your "mask" statement. I have that same feeling, and experience with alcohol. Do you ever imagine yourself to be a robot? Or do you memorize and rehearse things to say in social situations? I often feel like I am operating a virtual machine at social gatherings. I tunnel in and give myself commands to operate like a normal human being, but I take absolutely no pleasure from the social interactions. I also get EXTREMELY tired, very quickly, even though I am able to function for a brief period at a fairly high level.

oarsinsync 9y ago
I don't think I actively think about it as rehearsing lines, but I tend to pick up "catch phrases" from friends very quickly and easily which influences the behaviour people see from me. My "mask" is more me playing a character who doesn't have these issues, who understands social cues better and is able to respond in a more socially acceptable way. It's a logical step change in my mind, but ultimately a draining one. After too long, I just need to be left alone for a few hours to recharge.
southpawflo 9y ago
I am constantly 'running a social simulator' in my mind. I was diagnosed as autistic a few years ago in my mid twenties.
- TomK32 9y ago
  one sim game i wouldn't play. and i'm german :) (we do love our sim games)
ficklepickle 9y ago
I find the cognitive load required for me to socialize "normally" to be extremely exhausting after a couple hours. I try to, like George Costanza from Seinfeld, go out on a high note. That is, leave social situations while they are still going well.
wlll 9y ago
I'm not the OP, but I associate with everything they said, so here's my take if you're interested: > I'm curious about your "mask" statement. I have that same feeling, and experience with alcohol. Same, but I still drink a lot. It helps clear my mind. It's really apparent when two distinct groups of friends meet and the masks that I used for each set (which tend to be different) need to be reconciled. That can be uncomfortable. > Do you ever imagine yourself to be a robot? Oh hell yes, when I was younger (I'm nearly 40 now) especially. I desperately wanted to be a robot. Now, I mostly just love robots, and have built them (https://sendcat.com/dl/LcVKl5kWv6LJZEYusgVq9bLoieURiffZX7cKakmT4uCbCf8Rrmt2mjh https://sendcat.com/dl/LcVKl5kWv6LJZEYusgVq9bLoieURiffZX7cKa...). > Or do you memorize and rehearse things to say in social situations? Kinda, but not in the "rehearsing a talk" sort of way. I do pick things that I've heard and apply them in other similar social situations though. > I often feel like I am operating a virtual machine at social gatherings. I've had that feeling, also that it feels like a game at times. Interestingly it feels like I'm creating a neural network of how what to do and say, but not the one in my brain, one of my own making. > I tunnel in and give myself commands to operate like a normal human being, but I take absolutely no pleasure from the social interactions. I think at this point playing the game has become almost transparent to me, it turns out I'm pretty good at it. I've developed a set of behaviours that work in most situations I find myself in (user groups (talks, the bar after), conferences, weddings, etc. etc.) and I do enjoy the friends I've made at the local Ruby and Go groups. I do still have to force myself to do certain things though. Ask about people etc. Switch the conversation from what I want to talk about to them. > I also get EXTREMELY tired, very quickly, even though I am able to function for a brief period at a fairly high level. Social situations tire me too, though I can definitely manage full conference days or weeks of company meetup if I push myself. Towards the end I'll just spend hours by myself recharging, put on a smile and throw myself out there again. It's tiring, but ultimately rewarding. I've made friends, I've had good jobs etc.

oarsinsync 9y ago

I don't think I actively think about it as rehearsing lines, but I tend to pick up "catch phrases" from friends very quickly and easily which influences the behaviour people see from me. My "mask" is more me playing a character who doesn't have these issues, who understands social cues better and is able to respond in a more socially acceptable way. It's a logical step change in my mind, but ultimately a draining one. After too long, I just need to be left alone for a few hours to recharge.

southpawflo 9y ago

I am constantly 'running a social simulator' in my mind. I was diagnosed as autistic a few years ago in my mid twenties.

TomK32 9y ago
one sim game i wouldn't play. and i'm german :) (we do love our sim games)

ficklepickle 9y ago

I find the cognitive load required for me to socialize "normally" to be extremely exhausting after a couple hours. I try to, like George Costanza from Seinfeld, go out on a high note. That is, leave social situations while they are still going well.

wlll 9y ago

I'm not the OP, but I associate with everything they said, so here's my take if you're interested: > I'm curious about your "mask" statement. I have that same feeling, and experience with alcohol. Same, but I still drink a lot. It helps clear my mind. It's really apparent when two distinct groups of friends meet and the masks that I used for each set (which tend to be different) need to be reconciled. That can be uncomfortable. > Do you ever imagine yourself to be a robot? Oh hell yes, when I was younger (I'm nearly 40 now) especially. I desperately wanted to be a robot. Now, I mostly just love robots, and have built them (https://sendcat.com/dl/LcVKl5kWv6LJZEYusgVq9bLoieURiffZX7cKakmT4uCbCf8Rrmt2mjh https://sendcat.com/dl/LcVKl5kWv6LJZEYusgVq9bLoieURiffZX7cKa...). > Or do you memorize and rehearse things to say in social situations? Kinda, but not in the "rehearsing a talk" sort of way. I do pick things that I've heard and apply them in other similar social situations though. > I often feel like I am operating a virtual machine at social gatherings. I've had that feeling, also that it feels like a game at times. Interestingly it feels like I'm creating a neural network of how what to do and say, but not the one in my brain, one of my own making. > I tunnel in and give myself commands to operate like a normal human being, but I take absolutely no pleasure from the social interactions. I think at this point playing the game has become almost transparent to me, it turns out I'm pretty good at it. I've developed a set of behaviours that work in most situations I find myself in (user groups (talks, the bar after), conferences, weddings, etc. etc.) and I do enjoy the friends I've made at the local Ruby and Go groups. I do still have to force myself to do certain things though. Ask about people etc. Switch the conversation from what I want to talk about to them. > I also get EXTREMELY tired, very quickly, even though I am able to function for a brief period at a fairly high level. Social situations tire me too, though I can definitely manage full conference days or weeks of company meetup if I push myself. Towards the end I'll just spend hours by myself recharging, put on a smile and throw myself out there again. It's tiring, but ultimately rewarding. I've made friends, I've had good jobs etc.