4 ms·

I was only diagnosed at around 30, and so I also just kind of figured out how to 'pass for normal'. One of my biggest frustrations when I talk about this stuff

by mercer 9y ago

I was only diagnosed at around 30, and so I also just kind of figured out how to 'pass for normal'. One of my biggest frustrations when I talk about this stuff is that people will 1) insist I'm not autistic, as a compliment of sorts, 2) insist I'm not autistic as a sort of attack/defense, lest I 'use' it to victimize myself, or 3) start treating me like a 'broken' person and assigning all 'oddness' to aspergers. At first this really bothered me, as I was also trying figure out myself what this diagnosis meant, either taking it too seriously, or forgetting that this rather massive piece of lifelong puzzle had now fallen into place, and dealing with the consequences (some bad, some very good). Reaction #2 was surprisingly common and painful, especially from people that I didn't expect it from. I'd feel hurt because it never crossed my mind to 'excuse' myself. Even though I do think it provides a legitimate 'explanation' for past behavior that I felt, and sometimes still feel, deeply ashamed or embarrassed about. A certain amount of self-acceptance and forgiveness, I think, is crucial for many people who are on the spectrum, because they often deal with severe social anxiety to begin with, and the tendency to obsess/ruminate does not go well with guilt and embarrassment over the past. The way I see it now, or try to, is that we're all (people in general) just too inclined to overvalue labels, in particular in the field of mental health, and as a result either reject them entirely, or let them form a wedge between 'the real us' and 'the disability/disorder'. When of course in reality such a distinction is not always very useful outside of the realm of the profession (whether diagnosis or therapy). Normalizing these kinds of labels, without ignoring them entirely of course, strikes me as a very good development. The more we accept that we're all different/weird/'disordered' in various ways, but that some of us suffer more from this difference than others, the better we can actually come to positive outcomes, whether that means changing society, changing or coping through therapy, or the use of medication.

gowld 9y ago
"Autism" is simply a label for a certain basket of personality characteristics that tend to occur together. It's scientifically interesting but not very relevant to daily life -- especially on the milder end where there's less predictive power (in more severe autism, seeing one symptom makes it likely that you'll see other symptoms, so you can correctly plan to encounter them). The label itself doesn't provide more meaning than whatever individual specific characteristics a person exhibits to what extents.
- mercer 9y ago
  At least over here, one of the requirements for diagnosis is that it impacts your life negatively enough to benefit from being labeled and receiving treatment. What makes you think this is not the case?
  - psyc 9y ago
    There are disorders besides ASD, that share or overlap in some of the traits, and also cause distress.
  - gowld 9y ago
    My point is that the individual symptoms -- such behavioral rigidity and slow processing of sensory inputs -- can be treated appropriately (accommodations and therapy) without regard for whether they are "autism". It's not like "arm pain" -> "x-ray shows broken bone" -> "put a cast on it"
- psyc 9y ago
  This is the viewpoint most similar to mine. Sometimes I relate strongly to the complaints of people identifying with ASD, and sometimes not. I have some of the traits to an extreme, and am utterly lacking in other traits deemed central to diagnosis. I didn't have any developmental problems besides socializing - in fact I was precocious about everything. My father is textbook ASD, but nobody else in the family is. We're just all introverted, geeky, oversensitive, and both over-empathetic and a little misanthropic. What to do? I consider the traits by themselves instead of labeled clusters of traits.

by mercer 9y ago

gowld 9y ago

"Autism" is simply a label for a certain basket of personality characteristics that tend to occur together. It's scientifically interesting but not very relevant to daily life -- especially on the milder end where there's less predictive power (in more severe autism, seeing one symptom makes it likely that you'll see other symptoms, so you can correctly plan to encounter them). The label itself doesn't provide more meaning than whatever individual specific characteristics a person exhibits to what extents.

mercer 9y ago
At least over here, one of the requirements for diagnosis is that it impacts your life negatively enough to benefit from being labeled and receiving treatment. What makes you think this is not the case?
- psyc 9y ago
  There are disorders besides ASD, that share or overlap in some of the traits, and also cause distress.
- gowld 9y ago
  My point is that the individual symptoms -- such behavioral rigidity and slow processing of sensory inputs -- can be treated appropriately (accommodations and therapy) without regard for whether they are "autism". It's not like "arm pain" -> "x-ray shows broken bone" -> "put a cast on it"
psyc 9y ago
This is the viewpoint most similar to mine. Sometimes I relate strongly to the complaints of people identifying with ASD, and sometimes not. I have some of the traits to an extreme, and am utterly lacking in other traits deemed central to diagnosis. I didn't have any developmental problems besides socializing - in fact I was precocious about everything. My father is textbook ASD, but nobody else in the family is. We're just all introverted, geeky, oversensitive, and both over-empathetic and a little misanthropic. What to do? I consider the traits by themselves instead of labeled clusters of traits.