8 ms·

> "Your friends will miss you!" The company seems to have a strong culture of gaslighting and manipulating users. When I saw that screen, there were people the

> "Your friends will miss you!" The company seems to have a strong culture of gaslighting and manipulating users. When I saw that screen, there were people there that definitely wouldn't miss me and who would probably be appalled that their identities were being used in that way. When other people quit Facebook, it's likely that your photo is being presented to other users (who you may not really know) telling them that you will miss them. It's terrible.

r00fus 9y ago
It's par for the course for FB. "Soandso is waiting for your message" - psychological manipulation at it's finest.
- JoshMnem 9y ago
  The company is rotten to its foundations. Even the core mission is a terrible idea. Connecting all the world's people already exists -- it's called the WWW. Every time Facebook, the company, communicated with me, I felt like I was dealing with a manipulative gaslighter. I'm glad that it is no longer a part of my life.
  - jedrek 9y ago
    It's called the telephone.
    - rspeer 9y ago
      This is just being atavistic for no reason. The telephone system is a horrible UX. I hardly ever use Facebook, but I'm definitely not replacing it with the telephone.
      - jedrek 9y ago
        The device that connected the world is called the telephone, it's revolutionary force makes the WWW look like a fart in a storm.
existencebox 9y ago
This is something I've seen across the board, and have always been hesitant to say something lest I come off as "that crazy guy who feels bad because his cloud console has a frowny face next to the fact that something broke." (as a tongue-in-cheek example.) There are certainly other products I've used in recent memory that played the "we'll miss you, don't go!" game on uninstalling, but I can't pull their names off the top of my head, and I don't recall them being QUITE as blatant as to use pictures of your friends. The amount of anthropomorphism and insertion of emotional levers into tech tools/products is something I've always had a very visceral reaction against, but at least for consumer products (and unfortunately, increasingly in the SaaS space as well) it seems to be gaining traction. I have no doubt that it _works_ from a psychological perspective, but I wonder if I'm alone in feeling offput as a user. Clearly alone enough that it doesn't move the needle in terms of efficacy, unfortunately. (unfortunately in the context of whatever weird emotional pathology I've apparently developed have with my tooling :) )
ythn 9y ago
OTOH sometimes I will be like "Huh, I haven't seen a post from so-and-so for quite some time now... I wonder how they are doing? What the... all trace of them is now gone? Oh well..."
chaoticmass 9y ago
When I deleted my account I was shown that screen, and I have to admit, just the thought of my friends missing me made me feel sad. And then I couldn't remember the last time I interacted with any of them on facebook and went ahead with my deletion. Pure emotional manipulation.
varrock 9y ago
I deleted Instagram 6 months ago. I recently came into contact with somebody in person, and they told me that they were aware I was deleting social media because Instagram told them to re-invite me back to the platform. It was this moment that I realized you're never truly out of the system. What is the point of me deleting my Instagram if I am still showing up on people's application?
- TrainedMonkey 9y ago
  Are you deleting ig for your own benefit or for benefit of others? If it bothers you a lot - talk to other people about it and explain your reasons. If not - stop worrying about it. There are much more important things to do. For example spending time with your friends and loved ones or doing things you like.
  - squid_ca 9y ago
    The point is - how does Instagram know you should be re-invited if you are deleted? If you are really deleted, they shouldn't know you were ever a member.
    - sjburt 9y ago
      If you have an FB account, your FB friends who use Instagram will see prompts to invite you to Instagram.
      - TrainedMonkey 9y ago
        I think OP's point was that the message is specifically to re-invite and is different from normal sell-out-your-friends-to-us-so-we-can-get-better-valuation. This means that, at the very least, IG retains some sort of marker/metadata about you after account deletion.
- JoshMnem 9y ago
  It's a form of gaslighting. They are manipulating each of your realities in unethical ways.
scardine 9y ago
I just deleted LinkedIn as well, they flash this "All this people will miss you" and then show all the "endorsements" messages, things like: "Paulo is among the best engineers I've worked with".

r00fus 9y ago

It's par for the course for FB. "Soandso is waiting for your message" - psychological manipulation at it's finest.

JoshMnem 9y ago
The company is rotten to its foundations. Even the core mission is a terrible idea. Connecting all the world's people already exists -- it's called the WWW. Every time Facebook, the company, communicated with me, I felt like I was dealing with a manipulative gaslighter. I'm glad that it is no longer a part of my life.
- jedrek 9y ago
  It's called the telephone.
  - rspeer 9y ago
    This is just being atavistic for no reason. The telephone system is a horrible UX. I hardly ever use Facebook, but I'm definitely not replacing it with the telephone.
    - jedrek 9y ago
      The device that connected the world is called the telephone, it's revolutionary force makes the WWW look like a fart in a storm.

existencebox 9y ago

This is something I've seen across the board, and have always been hesitant to say something lest I come off as "that crazy guy who feels bad because his cloud console has a frowny face next to the fact that something broke." (as a tongue-in-cheek example.) There are certainly other products I've used in recent memory that played the "we'll miss you, don't go!" game on uninstalling, but I can't pull their names off the top of my head, and I don't recall them being QUITE as blatant as to use pictures of your friends. The amount of anthropomorphism and insertion of emotional levers into tech tools/products is something I've always had a very visceral reaction against, but at least for consumer products (and unfortunately, increasingly in the SaaS space as well) it seems to be gaining traction. I have no doubt that it _works_ from a psychological perspective, but I wonder if I'm alone in feeling offput as a user. Clearly alone enough that it doesn't move the needle in terms of efficacy, unfortunately. (unfortunately in the context of whatever weird emotional pathology I've apparently developed have with my tooling :) )

ythn 9y ago

OTOH sometimes I will be like "Huh, I haven't seen a post from so-and-so for quite some time now... I wonder how they are doing? What the... all trace of them is now gone? Oh well..."

chaoticmass 9y ago

When I deleted my account I was shown that screen, and I have to admit, just the thought of my friends missing me made me feel sad. And then I couldn't remember the last time I interacted with any of them on facebook and went ahead with my deletion. Pure emotional manipulation.

varrock 9y ago

I deleted Instagram 6 months ago. I recently came into contact with somebody in person, and they told me that they were aware I was deleting social media because Instagram told them to re-invite me back to the platform. It was this moment that I realized you're never truly out of the system. What is the point of me deleting my Instagram if I am still showing up on people's application?

TrainedMonkey 9y ago
Are you deleting ig for your own benefit or for benefit of others? If it bothers you a lot - talk to other people about it and explain your reasons. If not - stop worrying about it. There are much more important things to do. For example spending time with your friends and loved ones or doing things you like.
- squid_ca 9y ago
  The point is - how does Instagram know you should be re-invited if you are deleted? If you are really deleted, they shouldn't know you were ever a member.
  - sjburt 9y ago
    If you have an FB account, your FB friends who use Instagram will see prompts to invite you to Instagram.
    - TrainedMonkey 9y ago
      I think OP's point was that the message is specifically to re-invite and is different from normal sell-out-your-friends-to-us-so-we-can-get-better-valuation. This means that, at the very least, IG retains some sort of marker/metadata about you after account deletion.
JoshMnem 9y ago
It's a form of gaslighting. They are manipulating each of your realities in unethical ways.

scardine 9y ago

I just deleted LinkedIn as well, they flash this "All this people will miss you" and then show all the "endorsements" messages, things like: "Paulo is among the best engineers I've worked with".