4 ms·

For me it's usually an attempt to not come across as staring. A lot of people grow up hearing "don't stare!" when it comes to people who look different because

For me it's usually an attempt to not come across as staring. A lot of people grow up hearing "don't stare!" when it comes to people who look different because it's rude. So it's really hard for me to shake that. I don't look away because I'm weirded out by a person or because I think less of them. It's because I don't want my initial glance to be mistaken a stare. It's ironic that apparently that can come across as rude as well. Then again I'm socially awkward and struggle to make eye-contact with non-disabled folks just as much.

gowld 9y ago
Next time you're caught "maybe staring", try this: Smile or nod and then look away, instead of rushing to look away. You might be surprised how many smiles and nods you get back and return, and realize that most people are happy to have a moment of mutual acknowledgement. The key is to consciously acknowledge that you were looking at someone, and realize that you are forced to "justify" your look -- was it innocent and friendly, or creepy and rude? If it was innocent and friendly, then commit to it! If was creepy and rude, you messed up, do better next time.
- PJDK 9y ago
  If someone did this to me, I'd probably smile and nod back. But I'd also spend the rest of the day confused and worried why I couldn't remember who the person was who greeted me like a passing acquaintance.
  - eagsalazar2 9y ago
    Lean into that uneasiness. In addition to a nod, give them a long meaningful wink also. Then instead of an awkward accident, you have a fun puzzle for everyone think about for years afterward. Practice this at bars when you accidentally make eye contact with someone and be at peace with the beautiful chaos that will 100% ensue.
  - gowld 9y ago
    That's OK. Maybe you'll see them again next time you go around the same way, and you'll remember this time, and you'll start building a relationship with your neighbor.

gowld 9y ago

Next time you're caught "maybe staring", try this: Smile or nod and then look away, instead of rushing to look away. You might be surprised how many smiles and nods you get back and return, and realize that most people are happy to have a moment of mutual acknowledgement. The key is to consciously acknowledge that you were looking at someone, and realize that you are forced to "justify" your look -- was it innocent and friendly, or creepy and rude? If it was innocent and friendly, then commit to it! If was creepy and rude, you messed up, do better next time.

PJDK 9y ago
If someone did this to me, I'd probably smile and nod back. But I'd also spend the rest of the day confused and worried why I couldn't remember who the person was who greeted me like a passing acquaintance.
- eagsalazar2 9y ago
  Lean into that uneasiness. In addition to a nod, give them a long meaningful wink also. Then instead of an awkward accident, you have a fun puzzle for everyone think about for years afterward. Practice this at bars when you accidentally make eye contact with someone and be at peace with the beautiful chaos that will 100% ensue.
- gowld 9y ago
  That's OK. Maybe you'll see them again next time you go around the same way, and you'll remember this time, and you'll start building a relationship with your neighbor.