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It's sad to me how many parents fail to prepare children for the world. As a non-parent (and do not want kids), I feel I have a jaded view on this. Yet, I was

It's sad to me how many parents fail to prepare children for the world. As a non-parent (and do not want kids), I feel I have a jaded view on this. Yet, I was once a child.. so I should have some, I guess. I taught myself to shave, learned about sex myself, taught myself to drive, etcetc. I love my parents, but frankly they didn't teach me anything in life outside of passive observations of their behavior. I learned about bickering from them though, in leagues. heh. I don't get why more parents don't want to be the kind that are so dependable, the child will call them when they're too drunk to drive home at 16yrs old. Or the kind that explains to their kids that all drugs are not equal, some are far worse, some are not bad. Or hell, not just that some drugs are bad, but why some are bad. So many parents seem afraid to be the one who teaches their child first about the "tough" things in the world like sex and drugs. Yet, the tough things in the world should come first from them, imo. I just don't get it.

LyndsySimon 9y ago
> So many parents seem afraid to be the one who teaches their child first about the "tough" things in the world like sex and drugs. Yet, the tough things in the world should come first from them, imo. I just don't get it. I am a parent, dad of two girls: 4 and 9. I completely agree with you. I have a rule that I will never lie to my kids when they ask a question, and that I'll always answer to the best of my abilities. In the rare case where I feel like they're not ready for the answer, I'll tell them that. So far it's worked well. A couple of months ago we moved ~1k miles. My nine-year-old rode in the moving truck with me for 10 hours, and most of that time was spent discussing sex. Most of her questions were initially about the mechanics of the act, but as I explained things she ended up being just as interested in the emotional and social aspects. That conversation spawned several follow-ups where she had more questions after she thought about things. The only aspect I stopped short of explaining in full was pornography - she's aware of its existence, but not the reasons people participate in it or view it... and that's hard to explain to someone who hasn't yet experienced the impact of hormones during puberty. The way I see it, my kids are going to learn about the world one way or another. I see only positive consequences of being the trusted source of information and guidance when they first encounter it, regardless of how difficult the conversations may become.
- notheguyouthink 9y ago
  > The way I see it, my kids are going to learn about the world one way or another. I see only positive consequences of being the trusted source of information and guidance when they first encounter it, regardless of how difficult the conversations may become. Yup, and that's exactly why I struggle to understand why so many parents avoid it. Some I think mean well, but vastly underestimate when their child will discover the worst of humanity. Especially in the internet age, at school or at home. It's a complicated world.
  - LyndsySimon 9y ago
    Looking back on my own childhood, unfiltered internet access really changed my life. Yes, I got into some things that weren't appropriate for my age, but it also turned me on to programming and tech in general. In the end I turned that into a lucrative, successful career. I can honestly say that internet access was more of a factor in my life than school. In light of that, I give my kids the same thing. Instead of filters, I just keep logs of network traffic and occasionally grep them for keywords that I think might warrant discussion.
    - notheguyouthink 9y ago
      Oh yea, I wasn't suggesting filtering the kids - I wasn't saying anything in that context. I meant, the internet is going to get to kids regardless of how much we try to filter them. If a child isn't seeing it at their home computer, it'll be via word of mouth, or with a friends phone. That's all

LyndsySimon 9y ago

> So many parents seem afraid to be the one who teaches their child first about the "tough" things in the world like sex and drugs. Yet, the tough things in the world should come first from them, imo. I just don't get it. I am a parent, dad of two girls: 4 and 9. I completely agree with you. I have a rule that I will never lie to my kids when they ask a question, and that I'll always answer to the best of my abilities. In the rare case where I feel like they're not ready for the answer, I'll tell them that. So far it's worked well. A couple of months ago we moved ~1k miles. My nine-year-old rode in the moving truck with me for 10 hours, and most of that time was spent discussing sex. Most of her questions were initially about the mechanics of the act, but as I explained things she ended up being just as interested in the emotional and social aspects. That conversation spawned several follow-ups where she had more questions after she thought about things. The only aspect I stopped short of explaining in full was pornography - she's aware of its existence, but not the reasons people participate in it or view it... and that's hard to explain to someone who hasn't yet experienced the impact of hormones during puberty. The way I see it, my kids are going to learn about the world one way or another. I see only positive consequences of being the trusted source of information and guidance when they first encounter it, regardless of how difficult the conversations may become.

notheguyouthink 9y ago
> The way I see it, my kids are going to learn about the world one way or another. I see only positive consequences of being the trusted source of information and guidance when they first encounter it, regardless of how difficult the conversations may become. Yup, and that's exactly why I struggle to understand why so many parents avoid it. Some I think mean well, but vastly underestimate when their child will discover the worst of humanity. Especially in the internet age, at school or at home. It's a complicated world.
- LyndsySimon 9y ago
  Looking back on my own childhood, unfiltered internet access really changed my life. Yes, I got into some things that weren't appropriate for my age, but it also turned me on to programming and tech in general. In the end I turned that into a lucrative, successful career. I can honestly say that internet access was more of a factor in my life than school. In light of that, I give my kids the same thing. Instead of filters, I just keep logs of network traffic and occasionally grep them for keywords that I think might warrant discussion.
  - notheguyouthink 9y ago
    Oh yea, I wasn't suggesting filtering the kids - I wasn't saying anything in that context. I meant, the internet is going to get to kids regardless of how much we try to filter them. If a child isn't seeing it at their home computer, it'll be via word of mouth, or with a friends phone. That's all