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To me, this is foreign. If you love somebody, and I mean _truly love_, it doesnt matter how much money you owe, or what judgments are against you. Those who I

To me, this is foreign. If you love somebody, and I mean _truly love_, it doesnt matter how much money you owe, or what judgments are against you. Those who I have been with (counting 2 now) I would have moved the world for. I only left the first one because I didn't think she even cared I was there (and her actions didnt show it). If their marriage was a convenient way to get tax benefits and other marriage related tax burden reductions, so be it. Enter as a business arrangement, which is what he seemed to have done without understanding liabilities.

rikthevik 16y ago
Love is a very important part of a relationship, but it's not the whole story. Many times we end up relationships with people who make our hearts flutter, but who ultimately are bad for us. Marrying someone who is so deep in the red is a really big deal. Some people are comfortable assuming a great deal of debt - I'm not, and I could never be with someone who had that much hanging over their head.
sliverstorm 16y ago
I'm sure everyone has a point where they say 'enough!'. And besides that, there is a point where you have to say, "I love you and I want to say that doesn't matter, but it does, even though I don't feel like it does". Occasionally, you have to protect yourself from yourself. It also might wind up providing new insight on their character.
Charuru 16y ago
Think about it another way. If I _truly love_ someone it wouldn't matter to me what the financials are like. But the person that I would truly love would not be the a person that would take on a crippling amount of debt.
lionhearted 16y ago
> Those who I have been with (counting 2 now) I would have moved the world for. I only left the first one because I didn't think she even cared I was there (and her actions didnt show it). Something to think about, this might be controversial but I'm going to try to put it as well as I can because I think you'll be better off if you think about it - you said you'd have moved the world for a woman you were with, but it didn't even seem like she cared if you were there. Those two things might be related. These days, much of the media and movies show women falling in love with men who are attentive, kind, loving, and affectionate with no strings attached, and even if she isn't good to him in the beginning he eventually wins her over. Purely dutiful and attendant sorts of men. However, this is a fairly new set of affairs - not long ago, women's expectations and judgments on a man were based on a mix of pragmatic considerations (politics, division of labor), shared values like religion and community, and the man accomplishing tangible things. It's possible that if you expressed more external drive to change things in the outside world, and less pure devotion at all costs even when it's unreciprocated - that a woman in your life would love you more, serve you more, and actually feel happier being with you. Also, in such a state of affairs, you might be happier too. Maybe I'm wrong! I don't know, it's just worth thinking about. I see a lot of people talking about preferences for certain things while actually choosing and being satisfied with something a little different.

rikthevik 16y ago

Love is a very important part of a relationship, but it's not the whole story. Many times we end up relationships with people who make our hearts flutter, but who ultimately are bad for us. Marrying someone who is so deep in the red is a really big deal. Some people are comfortable assuming a great deal of debt - I'm not, and I could never be with someone who had that much hanging over their head.

sliverstorm 16y ago

I'm sure everyone has a point where they say 'enough!'. And besides that, there is a point where you have to say, "I love you and I want to say that doesn't matter, but it does, even though I don't feel like it does". Occasionally, you have to protect yourself from yourself. It also might wind up providing new insight on their character.

Charuru 16y ago

Think about it another way. If I _truly love_ someone it wouldn't matter to me what the financials are like. But the person that I would truly love would not be the a person that would take on a crippling amount of debt.

lionhearted 16y ago

> Those who I have been with (counting 2 now) I would have moved the world for. I only left the first one because I didn't think she even cared I was there (and her actions didnt show it). Something to think about, this might be controversial but I'm going to try to put it as well as I can because I think you'll be better off if you think about it - you said you'd have moved the world for a woman you were with, but it didn't even seem like she cared if you were there. Those two things might be related. These days, much of the media and movies show women falling in love with men who are attentive, kind, loving, and affectionate with no strings attached, and even if she isn't good to him in the beginning he eventually wins her over. Purely dutiful and attendant sorts of men. However, this is a fairly new set of affairs - not long ago, women's expectations and judgments on a man were based on a mix of pragmatic considerations (politics, division of labor), shared values like religion and community, and the man accomplishing tangible things. It's possible that if you expressed more external drive to change things in the outside world, and less pure devotion at all costs even when it's unreciprocated - that a woman in your life would love you more, serve you more, and actually feel happier being with you. Also, in such a state of affairs, you might be happier too. Maybe I'm wrong! I don't know, it's just worth thinking about. I see a lot of people talking about preferences for certain things while actually choosing and being satisfied with something a little different.