3 ms·

But when you express doubt, there is always a good explanation and you will feel guilty for doubting afterwards. This. I think it's important to emphasize tha

by rsp1984 9y ago

But when you express doubt, there is always a good explanation and you will feel guilty for doubting afterwards. This. I think it's important to emphasize that those "good explanations" are usually lies, as lies are at the foundation of all the harm that psychopaths cause. Normal people avoid lying if possible, psychopaths on the other hand are master liars and they make use of lies just whenever a lie serves them better than the truth. The manipulation tactics that psychopaths use to reach their goals are also just based on lies. You can't be manipulated if you don't believe the lies. Of course psychopaths will primarily serve you lies that you want to believe but that doesn't make them more truthful. Bottom line, if you want to stay safe from psychopaths, keep it like Reagan: "Trust but verify". And at the first sign of things not adding up, end the relationship and any contact.

taneq 9y ago
> And at the first sign of things not adding up, end the relationship and any contact. How about 'at the first proof of things not adding up'? Verification works both ways. If an isolated incident smells funny but checks out on investigation then maybe it was just a misinterpretation.
- psyc 9y ago
  No thanks. I learned a long time ago that people always tell me who they are right away, in jest. I learned somewhat later to take them at their word.
  - taneq 9y ago
    Not always, but often. And I agree, it's usually wise to listen to someone if they warn you about themselves.
kaybe 9y ago
I don't know. When I leave my bubble of scientists and techies I regularly come across people who will lie without reason, motive or gain, and I think some of them are more emotional than the mean. It still throws me off, you have to basically vet or ignore any factual statement they make because it might either not have any correlation with reality at all or, if it is a statement about their intentions and feelings, they will not remember what they said in the future anyway and say they always had the new opinion.
Pokepokalypse 9y ago
A lot of people will lie all the time. Usually for emotional reasons. (insecurity, fear, etc). Most people don't lie specifically to manipulate, but rather to protect themselves from a more uncomfortable situation. This also happens with personality-disordered people (particularly, Narcissists, and especially the Borderline PD people I know . . . they SEEM manipulative, and they technically are, but they're manipulating for a reason that's usually ego-defensive). Psychopaths, on the other hand, will lie for no damn reason at all that makes any sense to a sane person.

taneq 9y ago

> And at the first sign of things not adding up, end the relationship and any contact. How about 'at the first proof of things not adding up'? Verification works both ways. If an isolated incident smells funny but checks out on investigation then maybe it was just a misinterpretation.

psyc 9y ago
No thanks. I learned a long time ago that people always tell me who they are right away, in jest. I learned somewhat later to take them at their word.
- taneq 9y ago
  Not always, but often. And I agree, it's usually wise to listen to someone if they warn you about themselves.

kaybe 9y ago

I don't know. When I leave my bubble of scientists and techies I regularly come across people who will lie without reason, motive or gain, and I think some of them are more emotional than the mean. It still throws me off, you have to basically vet or ignore any factual statement they make because it might either not have any correlation with reality at all or, if it is a statement about their intentions and feelings, they will not remember what they said in the future anyway and say they always had the new opinion.

Pokepokalypse 9y ago

A lot of people will lie all the time. Usually for emotional reasons. (insecurity, fear, etc). Most people don't lie specifically to manipulate, but rather to protect themselves from a more uncomfortable situation. This also happens with personality-disordered people (particularly, Narcissists, and especially the Borderline PD people I know . . . they SEEM manipulative, and they technically are, but they're manipulating for a reason that's usually ego-defensive). Psychopaths, on the other hand, will lie for no damn reason at all that makes any sense to a sane person.