I sometimes get this anxiety too. And then I remember that if I were black, or a woman, or etc. etc. etc. I'd maybe have a similar anxiety as a baseline: « a d

I sometimes get this anxiety too. And then I remember that if I were black, or a woman, or etc. etc. etc. I'd maybe have a similar anxiety as a baseline: « a demand for a flawless human who is always genuinely nice, polite and only makes perfectly inoffensive jokes and never raises their voice while arguing things » Yeah, that sounds similar to the frustrations I've heard from women and people of color, being held to a higher standard than their white or male colleagues. I'm societally allowed to be rude, even threatening! And I'm rarely called on it. But that's not actually a good thing. So I think it's totally fair to have a CoC that says "be nice to people" and has some teeth and makes white men a little nervous. "A little nervous" is kind of a baseline for a lot of people. Think of it as educational.