> I believe that this person honestly cares about feminism and CoC, but that they are unable to be aware of how their own actions are going to far and come over

> I believe that this person honestly cares about feminism and CoC, but that they are unable to be aware of how their own actions are going to far and come over as threatening. They do respect every aspect of a CoC, but refuse to be qualified with those "vague terms" as it is possible to interpret them in so many ways and are, of course, impossible to prove. > How is a CoC helping me here, when CoC offer so many gray zones to play with, when the line between insecurity and harassment is so thin that it is almost impossible to distinguish one from another? This is exactly the sort of thing a CoC should help with. Without explicit policy, you have no explicitly stated means of defense. With a CoC, you should be able to simply tell the people in charge of upholding it that this person's actions come across as threatening and harrassing. I am not saying this will work everywhere. A CoC also only enables you to know what defenses you have, it does not create them. But I feel at least the spirit is in the right place, and I know of at least one community where IMO it works very well.