It's all about intention. Her intention was to set up and take down others. Her intention was to hurt, not heal. When it gets to this point, you're not a tea

It's all about intention. Her intention was to set up and take down others. Her intention was to hurt, not heal. When it gets to this point, you're not a team player anymore. You are a saboteur. I've seen people get like this when the stress is way too high (which is common in the tech field). Arguably, there is a time to not forgive, e.g. 'Three Billboards'. But that level of line in the sand stuff should only be used rarely, not on a regular basis.