4 ms·

I'm just going to start doing shoulder shakes instead of handshakes and see how people react. It's a warmer greeting than a hand shake and less likely to give m

I'm just going to start doing shoulder shakes instead of handshakes and see how people react. It's a warmer greeting than a hand shake and less likely to give me the flu. [update] -- I guess I won't given the down votes.

blattimwind 9y ago
What's a shoulder shake?
- LanceH 9y ago
  Shake hands, lean in shoulder to shoulder, half hug with left arm optional.
- louprado 9y ago
  It's something I made up. I just fully extend my arm towards another person's shoulder and give it a brief rub/pat/shake with my open hand. The other comment where you rub shoulders and perform a tango dance move is definitely not what I had in mind.
wccrawford 9y ago
That doesn't actually seem that different than the "put a hand on the arm while talking" technique that a lot of people use to try to inspire confidence from others. Personally, when someone touches me like that, I realize I'm being manipulated and instantly like them less. But a lot of people respond strongly and warmly to touch, even from strangers. I also dislike it when strangers use my name before I've given it to them, and really, really dislike it when a stranger decides to use a short form of my name instead of the full version that I gave them. It stems from the same distrust of people trying to gain my confidence without merit. I did not downvote you, and disagree with those who did.
- louprado 9y ago
  Is that to say you don't like handshakes either ? I am genuinely curious as I currently do a slight bow and look down to preempt a handshake from occurring which is just exacerbating the crisis of touch issue. The shoulder shake was in lieu of a hand shake and it hopefully is reciprocated. People tend to be judged, often unfairly, by the quality of their handshake. And there are definitely people who use a firm and prolonged handshake as an opportunity to express dominance.
  - wccrawford 9y ago
    Handshakes are for respect. People I've just met only get that respect if they're my new boss or something. If they force me into a handshake as a way of gaining my trust, then they've actually lost my respect instead of gained it. And yes, hand-squeezers are lame.

blattimwind 9y ago

What's a shoulder shake?

LanceH 9y ago
Shake hands, lean in shoulder to shoulder, half hug with left arm optional.
louprado 9y ago
It's something I made up. I just fully extend my arm towards another person's shoulder and give it a brief rub/pat/shake with my open hand. The other comment where you rub shoulders and perform a tango dance move is definitely not what I had in mind.

wccrawford 9y ago

That doesn't actually seem that different than the "put a hand on the arm while talking" technique that a lot of people use to try to inspire confidence from others. Personally, when someone touches me like that, I realize I'm being manipulated and instantly like them less. But a lot of people respond strongly and warmly to touch, even from strangers. I also dislike it when strangers use my name before I've given it to them, and really, really dislike it when a stranger decides to use a short form of my name instead of the full version that I gave them. It stems from the same distrust of people trying to gain my confidence without merit. I did not downvote you, and disagree with those who did.

louprado 9y ago
Is that to say you don't like handshakes either ? I am genuinely curious as I currently do a slight bow and look down to preempt a handshake from occurring which is just exacerbating the crisis of touch issue. The shoulder shake was in lieu of a hand shake and it hopefully is reciprocated. People tend to be judged, often unfairly, by the quality of their handshake. And there are definitely people who use a firm and prolonged handshake as an opportunity to express dominance.
- wccrawford 9y ago
  Handshakes are for respect. People I've just met only get that respect if they're my new boss or something. If they force me into a handshake as a way of gaining my trust, then they've actually lost my respect instead of gained it. And yes, hand-squeezers are lame.