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Can you be more specific about which hobbies are social but welcoming to extreme introverts? I'm seriously looking for one.

FractalTree 9y ago
The more technical disciplines of climbing are usually welcoming to introverts. However, it can be a dangerous sport, and it's certainly not for everyone. Assuming, you're able to judge risk and look out for your safety, there is nothing else like soloing to a location where few have ever stepped foot, at a view that few have ever seen, and in complete isolation. At high altitudes, there aren't even other animals. It's just you, and nature. At the same time, team endeavors allow you to achieve goals you can't achieve by yourself, and require teamwork at a level not found in any other sport I can think of. You must trust your teammates completely, or else you'll never achieve your potential. Your closest friends will always be those you can trust your life with. When I'm out alone for long periods of time, people always ask what I do. I must bring tv shows to watch, or books to read at the very least, and sometimes I do bring a book, but often I'm just enjoying being where I am. The odd part, is that I used to get questioned about being an introvert all the time before climbing. Now, unless people know we well, they'll just assume that I'm an extreme extrovert for performing a dangerous activity.
stinos 9y ago
Yeah didn't include that because it's purely anecdotal and I have no idea if my experience applies in general, in other countrie, etc, and I didn't want to sound like 'do this and it will work out', and it would take a while to properly explain it.. But here it goes: main one was volunteering with a local nature/environmental organization. Got into that after buying a scythe to keep the garden under control. Because I like proper tools etc. Turned out there was a local group scything in places, usually nature reserves, where that can make a difference with regards to preserving/enabling rare fauna and flora etc. And it turned out they were, almost to a scary extent, very like-minded on the bigger aspects in life while still having completely different backgrounds than me. Moreover I learned a ton of interesting things about biology, how current agriculture/inducstry/... is detrimental, etc. Which definitely creates bonds. Second: volunteering in an organization helping the poor/disabled/... Same story as above. You don't do that stuff just for yourself, but because you want to help. Turns out I'm like that, and only really like others like that. Third: climbing (mainly bouldering, not sure if that matters). To a lesser extent than above, but still.. Also interesting: like 1 out of 2 people I really consider worth my time there (without wanting to sound like an arrogant fck, but that's just how it is for me), happened to be connected to the same and/or similar volunteering organisations as mentioned in point 1 and 2. So the real connection is there probably. Last: I always liked freaking out on hard, underground music (think goa, acidcore, tekno, mental, some dnb styles, some metal, ...). Even despite being older now I still do that once in a while, but instead of just doing my thing all alone I know tend to talk to people more. Ok there's the occasional uniteresting drug-heads and drunks, but also a striking amount of like-minded ones. Seemingly way more than on the more commercial styles.
- Will_Parker 9y ago
  Wow, thank you for such a detailed answer!
vorpalhex 9y ago
I'll chime in as well. + Weightlifting at the gym. Met a lot of really nice people who I wouldn't normally talk to. Can be hard to make friends this way if you just go during the lunch rush, but try and go early on the weekends. + Martial arts. You tend to become good friends with people when you spar with them weekly. + Hiking. In the US, see if you have a local Sierra Club. The ultimate introvert activity.
milesvp 9y ago
Table top gaming. Board gamers are particularly keen to be around people while being totally engrossed in not talking to others. And there are some really good games that have proliferated in the last 2 decades. You may have to find a way to work past some asocial/antisocial behavior. But they certainly won't judge you not wanting to experience 'the nightlife'.
ionised 9y ago
Board games perhaps?
mal808 9y ago
You can work at your introversion. Introversion is about energy loss, you can develop a tolerance for interaction. It's like a muscle, the more you practice the more stamina you have. Horrific and all as it might sound, look for a local toastmasters club, go a couple of times, give some speeches. After a few months you'll be amazed at what you've achieved, and how much more easy it'll be to be a more social person. It just takes practice and effort. Edit: I made that sound very straight forward, it isn't. But toastmasters clubs exist for you to practice interaction. It's very empowering. Go a few times, listen to others, start small, give a 1 minute speech, when you're comfortable, develop some more, talk a bit more. Force yourself to make progress, build that social muscle, gain stamina.

FractalTree 9y ago

The more technical disciplines of climbing are usually welcoming to introverts. However, it can be a dangerous sport, and it's certainly not for everyone. Assuming, you're able to judge risk and look out for your safety, there is nothing else like soloing to a location where few have ever stepped foot, at a view that few have ever seen, and in complete isolation. At high altitudes, there aren't even other animals. It's just you, and nature. At the same time, team endeavors allow you to achieve goals you can't achieve by yourself, and require teamwork at a level not found in any other sport I can think of. You must trust your teammates completely, or else you'll never achieve your potential. Your closest friends will always be those you can trust your life with. When I'm out alone for long periods of time, people always ask what I do. I must bring tv shows to watch, or books to read at the very least, and sometimes I do bring a book, but often I'm just enjoying being where I am. The odd part, is that I used to get questioned about being an introvert all the time before climbing. Now, unless people know we well, they'll just assume that I'm an extreme extrovert for performing a dangerous activity.

stinos 9y ago

Yeah didn't include that because it's purely anecdotal and I have no idea if my experience applies in general, in other countrie, etc, and I didn't want to sound like 'do this and it will work out', and it would take a while to properly explain it.. But here it goes: main one was volunteering with a local nature/environmental organization. Got into that after buying a scythe to keep the garden under control. Because I like proper tools etc. Turned out there was a local group scything in places, usually nature reserves, where that can make a difference with regards to preserving/enabling rare fauna and flora etc. And it turned out they were, almost to a scary extent, very like-minded on the bigger aspects in life while still having completely different backgrounds than me. Moreover I learned a ton of interesting things about biology, how current agriculture/inducstry/... is detrimental, etc. Which definitely creates bonds. Second: volunteering in an organization helping the poor/disabled/... Same story as above. You don't do that stuff just for yourself, but because you want to help. Turns out I'm like that, and only really like others like that. Third: climbing (mainly bouldering, not sure if that matters). To a lesser extent than above, but still.. Also interesting: like 1 out of 2 people I really consider worth my time there (without wanting to sound like an arrogant fck, but that's just how it is for me), happened to be connected to the same and/or similar volunteering organisations as mentioned in point 1 and 2. So the real connection is there probably. Last: I always liked freaking out on hard, underground music (think goa, acidcore, tekno, mental, some dnb styles, some metal, ...). Even despite being older now I still do that once in a while, but instead of just doing my thing all alone I know tend to talk to people more. Ok there's the occasional uniteresting drug-heads and drunks, but also a striking amount of like-minded ones. Seemingly way more than on the more commercial styles.

Will_Parker 9y ago
Wow, thank you for such a detailed answer!

vorpalhex 9y ago

I'll chime in as well. + Weightlifting at the gym. Met a lot of really nice people who I wouldn't normally talk to. Can be hard to make friends this way if you just go during the lunch rush, but try and go early on the weekends. + Martial arts. You tend to become good friends with people when you spar with them weekly. + Hiking. In the US, see if you have a local Sierra Club. The ultimate introvert activity.

milesvp 9y ago

Table top gaming. Board gamers are particularly keen to be around people while being totally engrossed in not talking to others. And there are some really good games that have proliferated in the last 2 decades. You may have to find a way to work past some asocial/antisocial behavior. But they certainly won't judge you not wanting to experience 'the nightlife'.

ionised 9y ago

Board games perhaps?

mal808 9y ago

You can work at your introversion. Introversion is about energy loss, you can develop a tolerance for interaction. It's like a muscle, the more you practice the more stamina you have. Horrific and all as it might sound, look for a local toastmasters club, go a couple of times, give some speeches. After a few months you'll be amazed at what you've achieved, and how much more easy it'll be to be a more social person. It just takes practice and effort. Edit: I made that sound very straight forward, it isn't. But toastmasters clubs exist for you to practice interaction. It's very empowering. Go a few times, listen to others, start small, give a 1 minute speech, when you're comfortable, develop some more, talk a bit more. Force yourself to make progress, build that social muscle, gain stamina.