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According to everyone tldr; try to get to know different 'everyones' This sounds very, very familiar for me, were it 5 years ago. Then I took up some new hobb

by stinos 9y ago

According to everyone tldr; try to get to know different 'everyones' This sounds very, very familiar for me, were it 5 years ago. Then I took up some new hobbies which involved meeting new people. Which I was first reluctant to, not being the most social being out there, but then did it anyway because I really wanted to do new things. Man, did I not regret that for one moment. Turns out there are other types of people than your standard 'everyone' as well. You just need to find them (well, or you don't, up to you, but for me it was really an enrichment in life to meet similar-yet-different-minded people). Like you and me, basically. Not only won't they be quick to judge, but if I tell them 'oh I've been alone for 4 weeks' they just nod and say 'yeah, understandable, did the same last month'.

bimzip 9y ago
You sound like the sort of person they are describing. They don't "need" to find anyone at all. They know who they are, and seem self aware enough to know that they enjoy their own company
- stinos 9y ago
  Yes that's exactly what I meant with the part of my comment in brackets. But just to clarify: I always thought 'I don't need no-one else'. And while that is still true, I could do fine without the people I know now, my main point on this is: since I know them, and meet them from time to time, my life simply got more interesting. Is that truly needed? Well, no, I wouldn't immediately die without it, but it surely did add a myriad of interesting aspects. More to think about when alone, for one. Something to look forward to which I couldn't imagine I'd ever look forward to when I was younger. Finally the realization of why others seems to crave social interactions, I just never truly understood that earlier. Realising I can go on with being myself, but still from time to time have social interactions which are actually worth it. Etc. Not sure if this is all clear, I mean, I still have a hard time expressing feelings like this :P
  - mal808 9y ago
    Congratulations! You're winning at life! I'm working on it. But I think you've got the right idea. Being an introvert, all this introverts need to be alone empowerment bullshit pisses me off, as much as any other extreme. It's not about avoiding people, it's about knowing how much interaction you can handle before needing to recharge.
Will_Parker 9y ago
Can you be more specific about which hobbies are social but welcoming to extreme introverts? I'm seriously looking for one.
- FractalTree 9y ago
  The more technical disciplines of climbing are usually welcoming to introverts. However, it can be a dangerous sport, and it's certainly not for everyone. Assuming, you're able to judge risk and look out for your safety, there is nothing else like soloing to a location where few have ever stepped foot, at a view that few have ever seen, and in complete isolation. At high altitudes, there aren't even other animals. It's just you, and nature. At the same time, team endeavors allow you to achieve goals you can't achieve by yourself, and require teamwork at a level not found in any other sport I can think of. You must trust your teammates completely, or else you'll never achieve your potential. Your closest friends will always be those you can trust your life with. When I'm out alone for long periods of time, people always ask what I do. I must bring tv shows to watch, or books to read at the very least, and sometimes I do bring a book, but often I'm just enjoying being where I am. The odd part, is that I used to get questioned about being an introvert all the time before climbing. Now, unless people know we well, they'll just assume that I'm an extreme extrovert for performing a dangerous activity.
- stinos 9y ago
  Yeah didn't include that because it's purely anecdotal and I have no idea if my experience applies in general, in other countrie, etc, and I didn't want to sound like 'do this and it will work out', and it would take a while to properly explain it.. But here it goes: main one was volunteering with a local nature/environmental organization. Got into that after buying a scythe to keep the garden under control. Because I like proper tools etc. Turned out there was a local group scything in places, usually nature reserves, where that can make a difference with regards to preserving/enabling rare fauna and flora etc. And it turned out they were, almost to a scary extent, very like-minded on the bigger aspects in life while still having completely different backgrounds than me. Moreover I learned a ton of interesting things about biology, how current agriculture/inducstry/... is detrimental, etc. Which definitely creates bonds. Second: volunteering in an organization helping the poor/disabled/... Same story as above. You don't do that stuff just for yourself, but because you want to help. Turns out I'm like that, and only really like others like that. Third: climbing (mainly bouldering, not sure if that matters). To a lesser extent than above, but still.. Also interesting: like 1 out of 2 people I really consider worth my time there (without wanting to sound like an arrogant fck, but that's just how it is for me), happened to be connected to the same and/or similar volunteering organisations as mentioned in point 1 and 2. So the real connection is there probably. Last: I always liked freaking out on hard, underground music (think goa, acidcore, tekno, mental, some dnb styles, some metal, ...). Even despite being older now I still do that once in a while, but instead of just doing my thing all alone I know tend to talk to people more. Ok there's the occasional uniteresting drug-heads and drunks, but also a striking amount of like-minded ones. Seemingly way more than on the more commercial styles.

by stinos 9y ago

bimzip 9y ago

You sound like the sort of person they are describing. They don't "need" to find anyone at all. They know who they are, and seem self aware enough to know that they enjoy their own company

stinos 9y ago
Yes that's exactly what I meant with the part of my comment in brackets. But just to clarify: I always thought 'I don't need no-one else'. And while that is still true, I could do fine without the people I know now, my main point on this is: since I know them, and meet them from time to time, my life simply got more interesting. Is that truly needed? Well, no, I wouldn't immediately die without it, but it surely did add a myriad of interesting aspects. More to think about when alone, for one. Something to look forward to which I couldn't imagine I'd ever look forward to when I was younger. Finally the realization of why others seems to crave social interactions, I just never truly understood that earlier. Realising I can go on with being myself, but still from time to time have social interactions which are actually worth it. Etc. Not sure if this is all clear, I mean, I still have a hard time expressing feelings like this :P
- mal808 9y ago
  Congratulations! You're winning at life! I'm working on it. But I think you've got the right idea. Being an introvert, all this introverts need to be alone empowerment bullshit pisses me off, as much as any other extreme. It's not about avoiding people, it's about knowing how much interaction you can handle before needing to recharge.

Will_Parker 9y ago

Can you be more specific about which hobbies are social but welcoming to extreme introverts? I'm seriously looking for one.

FractalTree 9y ago
The more technical disciplines of climbing are usually welcoming to introverts. However, it can be a dangerous sport, and it's certainly not for everyone. Assuming, you're able to judge risk and look out for your safety, there is nothing else like soloing to a location where few have ever stepped foot, at a view that few have ever seen, and in complete isolation. At high altitudes, there aren't even other animals. It's just you, and nature. At the same time, team endeavors allow you to achieve goals you can't achieve by yourself, and require teamwork at a level not found in any other sport I can think of. You must trust your teammates completely, or else you'll never achieve your potential. Your closest friends will always be those you can trust your life with. When I'm out alone for long periods of time, people always ask what I do. I must bring tv shows to watch, or books to read at the very least, and sometimes I do bring a book, but often I'm just enjoying being where I am. The odd part, is that I used to get questioned about being an introvert all the time before climbing. Now, unless people know we well, they'll just assume that I'm an extreme extrovert for performing a dangerous activity.
stinos 9y ago
Yeah didn't include that because it's purely anecdotal and I have no idea if my experience applies in general, in other countrie, etc, and I didn't want to sound like 'do this and it will work out', and it would take a while to properly explain it.. But here it goes: main one was volunteering with a local nature/environmental organization. Got into that after buying a scythe to keep the garden under control. Because I like proper tools etc. Turned out there was a local group scything in places, usually nature reserves, where that can make a difference with regards to preserving/enabling rare fauna and flora etc. And it turned out they were, almost to a scary extent, very like-minded on the bigger aspects in life while still having completely different backgrounds than me. Moreover I learned a ton of interesting things about biology, how current agriculture/inducstry/... is detrimental, etc. Which definitely creates bonds. Second: volunteering in an organization helping the poor/disabled/... Same story as above. You don't do that stuff just for yourself, but because you want to help. Turns out I'm like that, and only really like others like that. Third: climbing (mainly bouldering, not sure if that matters). To a lesser extent than above, but still.. Also interesting: like 1 out of 2 people I really consider worth my time there (without wanting to sound like an arrogant fck, but that's just how it is for me), happened to be connected to the same and/or similar volunteering organisations as mentioned in point 1 and 2. So the real connection is there probably. Last: I always liked freaking out on hard, underground music (think goa, acidcore, tekno, mental, some dnb styles, some metal, ...). Even despite being older now I still do that once in a while, but instead of just doing my thing all alone I know tend to talk to people more. Ok there's the occasional uniteresting drug-heads and drunks, but also a striking amount of like-minded ones. Seemingly way more than on the more commercial styles.