3 ms·

You dont develop introversion, you have it or you dont.

by GrumpyNl 9y ago

vinceguidry 9y ago
I think that question is far from settled.
- ryandrake 9y ago
  Also, it is a characteristic of your personality you can take action to change, if you desire to.
DoreenMichele 9y ago
There is a high correlation between high IQ and introversion. I don't actually believe most high IQ people are innately introverted. I think many of them become introverted due to being treated poorly by most social groups they encounter. On one gifted list years ago, someone anecdotally reported being very extroverted and becoming introverted over the course of a year of severe bullying during middle school. One of my sons is borderline between introversion and extroversion. He was an attention monger as a toddler, but became more introverted after starting school. He didn't like the weird, problematic attention he was getting at school for being more sociable and intentionally chose to disengage. I'm highly social in nature, but my values are the opposite of what people think that means. So I never taught my kids they were required to be crowd pleasers. So he felt quite free to choose. He is very talkative with me and his brother in private and I get reports that he is pretty popular in forums where he participates, which I have seen firsthand in the past. But most mere acquaintances describe him as quiet and shy and are quick to conclude he is ASD, which is probably true, though he has no formal diagnosis. But he turns it on and off at will according to what makes sense to him. I am quite skeptical that introversion and extroversion are something you are simply born with.
- projektir 9y ago
  I wouldn't be surprised if this is the case. My experiences with the subject are very mixed and weird. I generally call myself an introvert because I can be by myself for weeks without being too bothered by it. But I also really enjoy spending time with people, as long as they're the right kind of people. But those people are hard to find, and mentioning this on its own tends to bring ire... If I don't want to meet with someone, there's often a very distinct draggy feeling as if meeting them is associated with something unpleasant.
  - DoreenMichele 9y ago
    Yes. I was there for the founding of a list for the "extra" gifted and trying to get people to talk was quite the challenge. Everyone was apologetic, embarrassed, uncomfortably aware that just joining the list was a form of bragging, etc. I was the lead moderator and I think I ultimately led by example because this was a support group. So I just leaned heavily on "We all have terrible baggage over this and we all have our war stories." and I think I got people talking about that stuff and people eventually opened up. But I never had to work so very hard at getting people to talk. I am just a magnet for total strangers wanting to overshare like I am their new BFF and I actually have worked at trying to tone it down and discourage such. So it really stood out to me as a stark contrast to my usual experiences. I have moderated lists where people became so chatty that people complained of the excess chatter because just getting people to spill the beans by existing seems to be my peculiarity.* * https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Peregrine's_Home_for_Peculiar_Children https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Peregrine's_Home_for_Pe...

You dont develop introversion, you have it or you dont.

vinceguidry 9y ago

I think that question is far from settled.

ryandrake 9y ago
Also, it is a characteristic of your personality you can take action to change, if you desire to.

DoreenMichele 9y ago

There is a high correlation between high IQ and introversion. I don't actually believe most high IQ people are innately introverted. I think many of them become introverted due to being treated poorly by most social groups they encounter. On one gifted list years ago, someone anecdotally reported being very extroverted and becoming introverted over the course of a year of severe bullying during middle school. One of my sons is borderline between introversion and extroversion. He was an attention monger as a toddler, but became more introverted after starting school. He didn't like the weird, problematic attention he was getting at school for being more sociable and intentionally chose to disengage. I'm highly social in nature, but my values are the opposite of what people think that means. So I never taught my kids they were required to be crowd pleasers. So he felt quite free to choose. He is very talkative with me and his brother in private and I get reports that he is pretty popular in forums where he participates, which I have seen firsthand in the past. But most mere acquaintances describe him as quiet and shy and are quick to conclude he is ASD, which is probably true, though he has no formal diagnosis. But he turns it on and off at will according to what makes sense to him. I am quite skeptical that introversion and extroversion are something you are simply born with.

projektir 9y ago
I wouldn't be surprised if this is the case. My experiences with the subject are very mixed and weird. I generally call myself an introvert because I can be by myself for weeks without being too bothered by it. But I also really enjoy spending time with people, as long as they're the right kind of people. But those people are hard to find, and mentioning this on its own tends to bring ire... If I don't want to meet with someone, there's often a very distinct draggy feeling as if meeting them is associated with something unpleasant.
- DoreenMichele 9y ago
  Yes. I was there for the founding of a list for the "extra" gifted and trying to get people to talk was quite the challenge. Everyone was apologetic, embarrassed, uncomfortably aware that just joining the list was a form of bragging, etc. I was the lead moderator and I think I ultimately led by example because this was a support group. So I just leaned heavily on "We all have terrible baggage over this and we all have our war stories." and I think I got people talking about that stuff and people eventually opened up. But I never had to work so very hard at getting people to talk. I am just a magnet for total strangers wanting to overshare like I am their new BFF and I actually have worked at trying to tone it down and discourage such. So it really stood out to me as a stark contrast to my usual experiences. I have moderated lists where people became so chatty that people complained of the excess chatter because just getting people to spill the beans by existing seems to be my peculiarity.* * https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Peregrine's_Home_for_Peculiar_Children https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Peregrine's_Home_for_Pe...