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Is it unreasonable to want the best for your child? Being deliberate in what you read to them and when doesn't preclude also giving them love, food, shelter, s

Is it unreasonable to want the best for your child? Being deliberate in what you read to them and when doesn't preclude also giving them love, food, shelter, space and everything else you listed. If there's a significant difference to be realized by adopting these reading habits (I'm not saying there is) one could argue you're ethically obligated to do so. In the same way that not supplying your child with a balanced diet could be considered negligent.

leokennis 9y ago
The only thing this way of thinking accomplishes, is insecure and depressed parents. You read to your child every day, but some books have only one character in them? Shame on you! Children also need parents that are confident in their parenting skills. Parenting is something you do 100% of the time. Being insecure because of a constant barrage of scientific studies micro-correcting your skills will harm your child’s upbringing. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Don’t judge parents who read every day, but maybe not the scientifically perfect book. Judge the parent that never reads at all.
nostrademons 9y ago
The challenge with the "want the best for your child" way of thinking is that very often you end up micro-optimizing for whatever definition of "the best" was in the latest pop-science article, to the detriment of other important skills that haven't recently been written about. The experimental results were that reading books with named characters resulted in increased attention to those characters. Is paying more attention to storybook characters a skill you want your child to develop? Maybe? What if further research showed that those same infants showed less attention to their parents? Or that they had stronger verbal skills, but weaker mathematical skills? Would you still consider this "the best" for your child? (These actually would be interesting follow-up studies to do, but I doubt any parent would be able to consider all the relevant results together.) My dad very much wanted "the best" for me, and as a nuclear chemist, he taught me math and science from a very early age. I got some leverage out of the math skills, but this generation happens to be a singularly shitty time to be a scientist, and it turns out that for skills that are valued by the market at this point in history (selling software, for example), things like emotional intelligence and social skills are actually quite a bit more helpful. Being a math prodigy is far less valuable than knowing when someone's trying to take advantage of you, but I suspect the former is desired by a lot more parents.
- jxub 9y ago
  I am convinced that there is always a "inertia" of values and goals, and as a result people fool themselves thinking they are getting towards the local/global maximum. Many times, experience or external fomo/fud from the environment point towards something that is no longer as optimized as while this experience or viewpoint has been coagulating. Parents should be aware of that.
  - wolf550e 9y ago
    People copy the attributes (sometimes very superficial ones) of the elite of a generation ago. It is similar to how militaries always prepare for the last war.
    - jxub 9y ago
      And not only the elite, it's mostly about coping the aspirations of their socioeconomic stratum (simplyfing there is the general dinamic where rich people seek freedom through biz and middle-class people look to have more money, by working hard in a "good job".
dv_dt 9y ago
I think people should in general give generous helpings of attention to children including reading and talking with and interacting - especially when they're younger and soak all that in. But I think this article with it's curiously specific recommendations falls more into a category of preying on parent fears then being advice that's well supported science.

leokennis 9y ago

The only thing this way of thinking accomplishes, is insecure and depressed parents. You read to your child every day, but some books have only one character in them? Shame on you! Children also need parents that are confident in their parenting skills. Parenting is something you do 100% of the time. Being insecure because of a constant barrage of scientific studies micro-correcting your skills will harm your child’s upbringing. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Don’t judge parents who read every day, but maybe not the scientifically perfect book. Judge the parent that never reads at all.

nostrademons 9y ago

The challenge with the "want the best for your child" way of thinking is that very often you end up micro-optimizing for whatever definition of "the best" was in the latest pop-science article, to the detriment of other important skills that haven't recently been written about. The experimental results were that reading books with named characters resulted in increased attention to those characters. Is paying more attention to storybook characters a skill you want your child to develop? Maybe? What if further research showed that those same infants showed less attention to their parents? Or that they had stronger verbal skills, but weaker mathematical skills? Would you still consider this "the best" for your child? (These actually would be interesting follow-up studies to do, but I doubt any parent would be able to consider all the relevant results together.) My dad very much wanted "the best" for me, and as a nuclear chemist, he taught me math and science from a very early age. I got some leverage out of the math skills, but this generation happens to be a singularly shitty time to be a scientist, and it turns out that for skills that are valued by the market at this point in history (selling software, for example), things like emotional intelligence and social skills are actually quite a bit more helpful. Being a math prodigy is far less valuable than knowing when someone's trying to take advantage of you, but I suspect the former is desired by a lot more parents.

jxub 9y ago
I am convinced that there is always a "inertia" of values and goals, and as a result people fool themselves thinking they are getting towards the local/global maximum. Many times, experience or external fomo/fud from the environment point towards something that is no longer as optimized as while this experience or viewpoint has been coagulating. Parents should be aware of that.
- wolf550e 9y ago
  People copy the attributes (sometimes very superficial ones) of the elite of a generation ago. It is similar to how militaries always prepare for the last war.
  - jxub 9y ago
    And not only the elite, it's mostly about coping the aspirations of their socioeconomic stratum (simplyfing there is the general dinamic where rich people seek freedom through biz and middle-class people look to have more money, by working hard in a "good job".

dv_dt 9y ago

I think people should in general give generous helpings of attention to children including reading and talking with and interacting - especially when they're younger and soak all that in. But I think this article with it's curiously specific recommendations falls more into a category of preying on parent fears then being advice that's well supported science.