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> Can you sort that out from simple insecurity about not meeting society's standards from a traditional family? And if that is the case, wouldn't it be more pru

> Can you sort that out from simple insecurity about not meeting society's standards from a traditional family? And if that is the case, wouldn't it be more prudent to change education or provide counseling to some couples in that situation? I'm not sure. A large part of it could definitely be that men don't know how to act in such a situation since it's not a family format that society has had to deal with before. The changes you're advocating for are all pretty radical (I don't mean this is a bad way necessarily) and I'd be worried that they may have unintended or unplanned for consequences. I don't think it's a given that men can raise children as well as women can. With regards to divorce. I think it's pretty clear that divorce is harmful when children are involved. The best thing for kids is to have two parents in a healthy marriage. Obviously this isn't always possible, but I think it should be the goal.

Broken_Hippo 9y ago
Yeah, I figure that is some of it. And I figure education is part of the way out of it. Simply doing healthy relationship sort of thing (treating the other person as a human adult, for example) and teaching folks to be upfront with what they want out of it would help, I think. That isn't so radical, and I think that in itself would help build stronger marriages. I do agree that divorce isn't the best situation for most children. But I also believe some of that can be minimized. I've met an entire range of folks - I had cousins happy their parents divorced. My parents would still be together if my father was alive. And somewhere in between. Parents getting along and the ability to see and talk to both parents at nearly any time seems to help. Of course, that sort of thing also limits what sort of life someone can lead after the divorce (live within driving distance to each other, for instance). I'm also more in line to making sure folks can have birth control and teaching the importance of being in a stable relationship before having children (marriage or not, as the daily routine doesn't make a difference). Again, though, education. Paternity leave isn't that radical in some areas when they concentrate on making sure the sexes are equal. I know here (Norway) they used to require some of it, and it is still an option for part of the time. Some friends of mine were both working about half their normal hours because of it actually. But yes, I'm pretty radical about it all, more so in some areas. I'm pretty sure men can do just as much as women once the physical part is changed. The biggest thing I notice is that women are trained to do some of this stuff from the time they are young, whereas men aren't. Women are more likely to take child development classes and such things, for example. Again, this is really just education and little things like showing men doing a good job at this stuff on TV and things like that. You know, unless there are efforts to get more men into teaching and childcare like there are efforts to get more women into STEM fields. Until then, self education.

Broken_Hippo 9y ago

Yeah, I figure that is some of it. And I figure education is part of the way out of it. Simply doing healthy relationship sort of thing (treating the other person as a human adult, for example) and teaching folks to be upfront with what they want out of it would help, I think. That isn't so radical, and I think that in itself would help build stronger marriages. I do agree that divorce isn't the best situation for most children. But I also believe some of that can be minimized. I've met an entire range of folks - I had cousins happy their parents divorced. My parents would still be together if my father was alive. And somewhere in between. Parents getting along and the ability to see and talk to both parents at nearly any time seems to help. Of course, that sort of thing also limits what sort of life someone can lead after the divorce (live within driving distance to each other, for instance). I'm also more in line to making sure folks can have birth control and teaching the importance of being in a stable relationship before having children (marriage or not, as the daily routine doesn't make a difference). Again, though, education. Paternity leave isn't that radical in some areas when they concentrate on making sure the sexes are equal. I know here (Norway) they used to require some of it, and it is still an option for part of the time. Some friends of mine were both working about half their normal hours because of it actually. But yes, I'm pretty radical about it all, more so in some areas. I'm pretty sure men can do just as much as women once the physical part is changed. The biggest thing I notice is that women are trained to do some of this stuff from the time they are young, whereas men aren't. Women are more likely to take child development classes and such things, for example. Again, this is really just education and little things like showing men doing a good job at this stuff on TV and things like that. You know, unless there are efforts to get more men into teaching and childcare like there are efforts to get more women into STEM fields. Until then, self education.