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The standards we expect for childrearing are also dramatically higher today than ever before. Previous generations just sent the kids off to play after school,

The standards we expect for childrearing are also dramatically higher today than ever before. Previous generations just sent the kids off to play after school, without much attention; they expected kids to be 100% on their own after highschool (and even before); and on and on. Today we expect far more parent involvement than ever before (at least in the US), this makes it comparatively more expensive to raise children now than in years past.

dazc 9y ago
'Today we expect far more parent involvement than ever before (at least in the US)...' True also in the UK. As a kid, the normal after-school routine was to walk home, get changed and play out until it was dark. All achieved with minimal contact with parents. Now kids seem to have very little independent time and this, in my opinion, is/will be very much to their detriment in later life.
- coldacid 9y ago
  The transition from "free-range" kids to the helicopter parenting they experience now also informs a lot of the issues with college and university students being afraid of challenge and ideas they've not already come across. I look at how my brothers and I were raised (in the 80s) and I look at kids born and raised in the 90s, and there's a clear disconnect in attitudes and experiences that can be attributed to whether or not one was constantly supervised and pampered.
- aidenn0 9y ago
  Is there a trend in the UK of nosy neighbors reporting unsupervised children to the authorities? This has been a disturbing trend[1] in the US that makes it harder to provide kids with independent time, particularly when the person responding to the complaint is guaranteed to be heavily armed. 1: I say trend, though it's probably much less than 1% of the population, but kids are seen by more than 100 adults in a week, and the nosier adults self-select for being more likely to be looking for kids doing something wrong.
  - dazc 9y ago
    'Is there a trend in the UK of nosy neighbors reporting unsupervised children to the authorities?' I'm not sure it's so common but I wouldn't be surprised if it happens from time to time. I guess it depends what time of day and how far away from home they are?
epx 9y ago
Exactly my case: I walked to and from school every day, and kept playing on street and backyards' bushes every afternoon. My kid I drive to and from school, he never went to the street unattended, he is 10.
- TremendousJudge 9y ago
  a kid can't really walk to school if it's 5 miles away because it's a suburb
  - larkost 9y ago
    In the U.S. there are an increasing number of places where the schools insist on parents being present for both drop-off and pickup, sometimes to the point that they will call Child Protective Services (government agency) to report Child Endangerment if the kid arrives alone. We are looking at places for our older child right now, and one of the schools we are looking at has an official document that the parents must present in order to pickup your child. Otherwise they will not release the child.
- noobhacker 9y ago
  It's very interesting that you are aware of the difference yourself. Is there a reason why you can't let your kid be like you? Is it spousal disagreement, living circumstance, or a change in your own attitude?
  - epx 9y ago
    All of them :) The attitude just changed. And no, I don't live in suburbs, the distance home-school is the same.
sbov 9y ago
I feel like most of this comes from the childless. Most parents seem to understand, but people without kids expect you to transform into superwoman/man.
- colmvp 9y ago
  Strange, I feel like it's the opposite. I, as a childless adult, couldn't care less how my friend raises her kid, just as long as she isn't abusive. It's probably because I haven't spent any time learning the ins-and-outs about raising a child, so I don't have a strong opinion either way. But if anything, my friend has felt internal pressure on decisions she makes with her child via the opinions of other parents. This is especially true to her with respects to the pressures to breastfeed.
  - sbov 9y ago
    True, unfortunately many mothers have latched on to breastfeeding and "natural birth" as a way to feel superior to other mothers. We had to go through a lot of that during our first, including people working in the hospital. One worker even called formula poison.

dazc 9y ago

'Today we expect far more parent involvement than ever before (at least in the US)...' True also in the UK. As a kid, the normal after-school routine was to walk home, get changed and play out until it was dark. All achieved with minimal contact with parents. Now kids seem to have very little independent time and this, in my opinion, is/will be very much to their detriment in later life.

coldacid 9y ago
The transition from "free-range" kids to the helicopter parenting they experience now also informs a lot of the issues with college and university students being afraid of challenge and ideas they've not already come across. I look at how my brothers and I were raised (in the 80s) and I look at kids born and raised in the 90s, and there's a clear disconnect in attitudes and experiences that can be attributed to whether or not one was constantly supervised and pampered.
aidenn0 9y ago
Is there a trend in the UK of nosy neighbors reporting unsupervised children to the authorities? This has been a disturbing trend[1] in the US that makes it harder to provide kids with independent time, particularly when the person responding to the complaint is guaranteed to be heavily armed. 1: I say trend, though it's probably much less than 1% of the population, but kids are seen by more than 100 adults in a week, and the nosier adults self-select for being more likely to be looking for kids doing something wrong.
- dazc 9y ago
  'Is there a trend in the UK of nosy neighbors reporting unsupervised children to the authorities?' I'm not sure it's so common but I wouldn't be surprised if it happens from time to time. I guess it depends what time of day and how far away from home they are?

epx 9y ago

Exactly my case: I walked to and from school every day, and kept playing on street and backyards' bushes every afternoon. My kid I drive to and from school, he never went to the street unattended, he is 10.

TremendousJudge 9y ago
a kid can't really walk to school if it's 5 miles away because it's a suburb
- larkost 9y ago
  In the U.S. there are an increasing number of places where the schools insist on parents being present for both drop-off and pickup, sometimes to the point that they will call Child Protective Services (government agency) to report Child Endangerment if the kid arrives alone. We are looking at places for our older child right now, and one of the schools we are looking at has an official document that the parents must present in order to pickup your child. Otherwise they will not release the child.
noobhacker 9y ago
It's very interesting that you are aware of the difference yourself. Is there a reason why you can't let your kid be like you? Is it spousal disagreement, living circumstance, or a change in your own attitude?
- epx 9y ago
  All of them :) The attitude just changed. And no, I don't live in suburbs, the distance home-school is the same.

sbov 9y ago

I feel like most of this comes from the childless. Most parents seem to understand, but people without kids expect you to transform into superwoman/man.

colmvp 9y ago
Strange, I feel like it's the opposite. I, as a childless adult, couldn't care less how my friend raises her kid, just as long as she isn't abusive. It's probably because I haven't spent any time learning the ins-and-outs about raising a child, so I don't have a strong opinion either way. But if anything, my friend has felt internal pressure on decisions she makes with her child via the opinions of other parents. This is especially true to her with respects to the pressures to breastfeed.
- sbov 9y ago
  True, unfortunately many mothers have latched on to breastfeeding and "natural birth" as a way to feel superior to other mothers. We had to go through a lot of that during our first, including people working in the hospital. One worker even called formula poison.