7 ms·

If you don't fear being looked at like you have a third eye or people thinking you are a weirdo, then by all means do this.

marnett 9y ago
While you are absolutely correct that people will think you are weird - what does it matter? Having small talk with someone in line at the grocery store is not to create a lifelong friend (although that really is a potential), it is to spread social kindness and communal feeling. The upside, real interaction with individuals who value it, heavily outweighs the downside, a stranger thinking you are weird (you need not do more than dress 'out of style' for this to be the case, really). My experience is largely against what you describe, however. At least in the major city I live, I have literally been thanked, with a genuine smile - one of those real smiles that begins in the eyes - and gratitude, by cashiers when I ask, before they speak to me, how they themselves are doing. Literally countless times. I see these people quite often, as they work at places I frequent. They remember me and we, over time, learn more about one another. May aim was not to be their friend, or even acquaintance, just to build a sense of community. Small talk is the fastest way I've bootstrapped myself into outrageously diverse social circles. Plenty of encounters with closed off people uninterested in me? Yes. Plenty of encounters that went well, spread some smiles, with people I've never seen again? Yes. Plenty of people I have sustained contact with, who are now close friends of mine? Not plenty, but a handful that made all the other encounters worth it. And regardless, what is the alternative? I have to find my friends, acquaintances, strangers interested in similar things, love interests, and mating partners online? No thanks, call me a weirdo please.
- irrational 9y ago
  >Having small talk with someone in line at the grocery store is not to create a lifelong friend No, it is to create an immediate enemy (I'm only half-joking)

marnett 9y ago

While you are absolutely correct that people will think you are weird - what does it matter? Having small talk with someone in line at the grocery store is not to create a lifelong friend (although that really is a potential), it is to spread social kindness and communal feeling. The upside, real interaction with individuals who value it, heavily outweighs the downside, a stranger thinking you are weird (you need not do more than dress 'out of style' for this to be the case, really). My experience is largely against what you describe, however. At least in the major city I live, I have literally been thanked, with a genuine smile - one of those real smiles that begins in the eyes - and gratitude, by cashiers when I ask, before they speak to me, how they themselves are doing. Literally countless times. I see these people quite often, as they work at places I frequent. They remember me and we, over time, learn more about one another. May aim was not to be their friend, or even acquaintance, just to build a sense of community. Small talk is the fastest way I've bootstrapped myself into outrageously diverse social circles. Plenty of encounters with closed off people uninterested in me? Yes. Plenty of encounters that went well, spread some smiles, with people I've never seen again? Yes. Plenty of people I have sustained contact with, who are now close friends of mine? Not plenty, but a handful that made all the other encounters worth it. And regardless, what is the alternative? I have to find my friends, acquaintances, strangers interested in similar things, love interests, and mating partners online? No thanks, call me a weirdo please.

irrational 9y ago
>Having small talk with someone in line at the grocery store is not to create a lifelong friend No, it is to create an immediate enemy (I'm only half-joking)