8 ms·

If I wanted to be social I wouldn't even know where to start. There's nowhere to go to hang out and meet people. Folks work and then go home and stay in their h

If I wanted to be social I wouldn't even know where to start. There's nowhere to go to hang out and meet people. Folks work and then go home and stay in their houses (UK commuter town). The previous generation might have gone to the pub (bar) but those have been turned into restaurants so even that doesn't work anymore. I even start thinking about going online as the best available option to be RL social. horror I think if we want people to be more social we need to create RL places for them to go. Where everyone knows the score - you go to this place, hang out, chat to each other, play a game, have a drink, have food, etc.

dfdsdfsdfsdf 9y ago
Maybe move somewhere else than a UK commuter town?
humanrebar 9y ago
The previous generation also went to church. A sizable minority of the current generations still do, though it seems to be impolite to discuss or recommend.
- DoofusOfDeath 9y ago
  I wouldn't say impolite, just unnecessary. Church services are generally for people who adhere to that religion, or are investigating it. I would imagine that most people in those categories already do attend church.
- eeZah7Ux 9y ago
  Church attendance has been the biggest social event of the week for perhaps the majority of people in Europe for perhaps the last 10 centuries. Now that most people are fed up with dogmatism and theism the social aspect is gone as a side effect. We need a replacement. An interesting experiment was carried out in the eastern block: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palace_of_Culture https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palace_of_Culture
  - marnett 9y ago
    > fed up with dogmatism and theism I was raised religious. I too became entranced with seeking the truth; however, secularism does not have the same 'social-networks as a side-effect' institutions as religion does. Many want to hate on religion, but even the religious would say enduring the dogma for the kind, accepting social interactions that occur before and after is just what one does.
gaius 9y ago
Check out your local Parkrun, most go to a local cafe or something afterwards and you have a built-in conversation starter. All ability levels welcome!
jetrink 9y ago
When my friends moved away to pursue new jobs last year, I was left with no friends within 100 miles. I joined a club that plays board games together every Friday, a rock climbing gym and I started volunteering at a library. There are opportunies if you live in a large city and are open to new hobbies.
kneel 9y ago
I'd recommend taking an improv class, you'll build a lot of skills needed for spontaneous interactions. Commitment to building these skills will have a snowball effect on your social life.
azemetre 9y ago
I'm assuming you have neighbors, is there any reason why you can't invite them over for dinner, bake them something, or simply introduce yourself? Where ever I've lived I always made friends with my neighbors. These are people you're next to every day and you share a living space, might as well get acquainted with them. No they aren't going to care about all your interests and hobbies, but then again most people in life won't either. I think it's extremely healthy to have friends of different backgrounds and walks of life, and being friends with your neighbors is one way to do this.
timesaving101 9y ago
Try couch surfing. You can meet new people without much effort.
ythn 9y ago
> If I wanted to be social I wouldn't even know where to start. Even if you aren't religious, churches are a great way to meet new people. We have a few atheists who come to our church activities just for the social aspect of it and we are glad to have them.
hinkley 9y ago
There are still meetups, adult classes, and volunteer work. If you are at all bent that way I recommend the latter. Even if you don’t hit it off with anyone the positive energy is good for lifting your mood and improving your outlook.
CryoLogic 9y ago
If you have a local game store, try picking up a tabletop game or TCG like Magic.
wccrawford 9y ago
Meetup.com. Find something you know or want to know, and join a group about it. Show up regularly. You'll get to know the others that show up regularly and being to bond with them. I joined a Meetup group for learning Japanese and went a half dozen times, and then just stopped going. I still consider going back, and I feel a little bad for abandoning them... Even after like a year or 2 now. (I also want to continue learning Japanese, so that's some of the pull, but I feel bad about the people there, too.) If you don't have a skill you want to learn or practice, there are groups for things like board games, too.
atomical 9y ago
Tinder, OKCupid. Convert them to real friends by meeting up for lunch, dinner, game night, whatever.
stevenwoo 9y ago
What did you think of the Jo Cox commission? There might be something near you soon. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/16/may-appoints-minister-tackle-loneliness-issues-raised-jo-cox https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/16/may-appoints...
toomanybeersies 9y ago
I lived in a long stay backpackers hostel for a while. Socialising there was a lot like the place your'e describing. There were a lot of solo travelers who knew literally nobody in the city. You'd end up making friends without even trying, you'd sit down for dinner at the table with a stranger and you'd make a friend by the time you finished tea. If you wanted to go out to town, you'd just join in with the group drinking. There was always people playing cards or board games, or watching a movie. It was an amazing social experience. The only (large) downside is that it's all temporary. Everybody is only staying for a few months, before they move on to the next place. I met some lifelong friends there (or I assume they will be), but they're scattered all over the world now. Great for when I travel, not so great for socialising on a Saturday afternoon. I guess university was similar. I made a lot of friends through university events, parties, and just being in the same lab studying. We make most of our friends at school and university, and keep them for life usually. Once we become professionals and join the full time workforce, there's diminishing opportunities to meet new people. I recently moved countries and it has been extraordinarily hard to meet new people.

dfdsdfsdfsdf 9y ago

Maybe move somewhere else than a UK commuter town?

humanrebar 9y ago

The previous generation also went to church. A sizable minority of the current generations still do, though it seems to be impolite to discuss or recommend.

DoofusOfDeath 9y ago
I wouldn't say impolite, just unnecessary. Church services are generally for people who adhere to that religion, or are investigating it. I would imagine that most people in those categories already do attend church.
eeZah7Ux 9y ago
Church attendance has been the biggest social event of the week for perhaps the majority of people in Europe for perhaps the last 10 centuries. Now that most people are fed up with dogmatism and theism the social aspect is gone as a side effect. We need a replacement. An interesting experiment was carried out in the eastern block: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palace_of_Culture https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palace_of_Culture
- marnett 9y ago
  > fed up with dogmatism and theism I was raised religious. I too became entranced with seeking the truth; however, secularism does not have the same 'social-networks as a side-effect' institutions as religion does. Many want to hate on religion, but even the religious would say enduring the dogma for the kind, accepting social interactions that occur before and after is just what one does.

gaius 9y ago

Check out your local Parkrun, most go to a local cafe or something afterwards and you have a built-in conversation starter. All ability levels welcome!

jetrink 9y ago

When my friends moved away to pursue new jobs last year, I was left with no friends within 100 miles. I joined a club that plays board games together every Friday, a rock climbing gym and I started volunteering at a library. There are opportunies if you live in a large city and are open to new hobbies.

kneel 9y ago

I'd recommend taking an improv class, you'll build a lot of skills needed for spontaneous interactions. Commitment to building these skills will have a snowball effect on your social life.

azemetre 9y ago

I'm assuming you have neighbors, is there any reason why you can't invite them over for dinner, bake them something, or simply introduce yourself? Where ever I've lived I always made friends with my neighbors. These are people you're next to every day and you share a living space, might as well get acquainted with them. No they aren't going to care about all your interests and hobbies, but then again most people in life won't either. I think it's extremely healthy to have friends of different backgrounds and walks of life, and being friends with your neighbors is one way to do this.

timesaving101 9y ago

Try couch surfing. You can meet new people without much effort.

ythn 9y ago

> If I wanted to be social I wouldn't even know where to start. Even if you aren't religious, churches are a great way to meet new people. We have a few atheists who come to our church activities just for the social aspect of it and we are glad to have them.

hinkley 9y ago

There are still meetups, adult classes, and volunteer work. If you are at all bent that way I recommend the latter. Even if you don’t hit it off with anyone the positive energy is good for lifting your mood and improving your outlook.

CryoLogic 9y ago

If you have a local game store, try picking up a tabletop game or TCG like Magic.

wccrawford 9y ago

Meetup.com. Find something you know or want to know, and join a group about it. Show up regularly. You'll get to know the others that show up regularly and being to bond with them. I joined a Meetup group for learning Japanese and went a half dozen times, and then just stopped going. I still consider going back, and I feel a little bad for abandoning them... Even after like a year or 2 now. (I also want to continue learning Japanese, so that's some of the pull, but I feel bad about the people there, too.) If you don't have a skill you want to learn or practice, there are groups for things like board games, too.

atomical 9y ago

Tinder, OKCupid. Convert them to real friends by meeting up for lunch, dinner, game night, whatever.

stevenwoo 9y ago

What did you think of the Jo Cox commission? There might be something near you soon. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/16/may-appoints-minister-tackle-loneliness-issues-raised-jo-cox https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/16/may-appoints...

toomanybeersies 9y ago

I lived in a long stay backpackers hostel for a while. Socialising there was a lot like the place your'e describing. There were a lot of solo travelers who knew literally nobody in the city. You'd end up making friends without even trying, you'd sit down for dinner at the table with a stranger and you'd make a friend by the time you finished tea. If you wanted to go out to town, you'd just join in with the group drinking. There was always people playing cards or board games, or watching a movie. It was an amazing social experience. The only (large) downside is that it's all temporary. Everybody is only staying for a few months, before they move on to the next place. I met some lifelong friends there (or I assume they will be), but they're scattered all over the world now. Great for when I travel, not so great for socialising on a Saturday afternoon. I guess university was similar. I made a lot of friends through university events, parties, and just being in the same lab studying. We make most of our friends at school and university, and keep them for life usually. Once we become professionals and join the full time workforce, there's diminishing opportunities to meet new people. I recently moved countries and it has been extraordinarily hard to meet new people.