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If anything the opposite is true: severe lack of alone-time. I'm surrounded by humans all the time, even in your time alone you can't get away from people due t

by Aaargh20318 9y ago

If anything the opposite is true: severe lack of alone-time. I'm surrounded by humans all the time, even in your time alone you can't get away from people due to IM, social media, etc. I try to minimise the amount of social activity as much as possible, but I'm still getting overloaded and am slowly going crazy.

BurningFrog 9y ago
This is exactly how you don't do science!
maxxxxx 9y ago
Same for me. I used to work from home and did a lot of stuff after work together with people. Now I am working at an open office and due to noise and constantly interacting with people I am way too exhausted in the evening to do anything. I just want to be alone in peace. The result is that my social life has almost stopped and I feel quite lonely.
kakarot 9y ago
That's just your personal experience and not an objective one. I'm lonely for severe lack of being around humans all the time, and when I am around humans they're often distracted by some form of entertainment. There's nothing that indicates either of our experiences can be generalized.
- maxxxxx 9y ago
  "There's nothing that indicates either of our experiences can be generalized." Please don't try to generalize. We all have very different needs and what works for one person doesn't work for the other. Acknowledgement and respect of this would be true diversity and inclusion.
  - kakarot 9y ago
    I'm confused by what you mean. I was arguing against generalization in this case?
    - maxxxxx 9y ago
      It sounded to me like you would like to find a generalization. Sorry if I misunderstood you. The tendency to generalize things is one of my pet peeves around health issues, physical or mental. Some things work for everybody but a lot of things may work for one person, but not the other.
Jemmeh 9y ago
You could try using a productivity app like StayFocusd[1] to set it up so you can only access the website once or twice a day. If it's truly an emergency people will call you. You can also try logging out of Facebook/Email and only checking it once a day. Or just plain making time to turn off your phone for a few hours on the weekend. [1] https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stayfocusd/laankejkbhbdhmipfmgcngdelahlfoji?hl=en https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stayfocusd/laankej...
- Aaargh20318 9y ago
  The problem is more that I am forced to sit in an office all day. As I said I already minimise social contact, so I don't have a Facebook account (never had one) and while I do have a Twitter account I don't use it to follow or interact with anyone I know personally, mainly following some companies. Regardless, I am forced to interact with people in a social setting way too much. For example, my brother had his birthday 2 weeks ago and I have to go there for a couple of hours. Next week is my mothers birthday and she wants to take us to a restaurant, I really don't want to be in a restaurant surrounded by humans, it's just too much. I've been dreading it for weeks and can't wait for it to be over. Unfortunately, every time one of those events is finally over, another one presents itself. If I ever won the lottery, I would buy a cabin somewhere in the middle of nowhere and that would be the last any human would have seen of me.
  - Jemmeh 9y ago
    Ah. You had mentioned social media and IM so I figured you'd be using them. Look for remote work and make your cabin dreams come true? You still have to interact with people, but a lot less?
adamnemecek 9y ago
You can be lonely while being surrounded by people. It's that feeling of alienation that you feel when dealing with people who idk, you are forced to deal with but have nothing in common with. It's all the background noise of living in a large city.
placebo 9y ago
it's not about the number of people you are surrounded by but the depth and nature of relationship with them. Wasting energy showing off one's own conformity and following other people's conformity to society's current trend for what makes you a valuable person is bound to eventually make you crazy. I figure that If you have the bare necessities covered (roof over your head, enough income for surviving) then you're already in a good position to reassess and build your happiness on foundations which are more solid than how many likes you receive on social media.

BurningFrog 9y ago

This is exactly how you don't do science!

maxxxxx 9y ago

Same for me. I used to work from home and did a lot of stuff after work together with people. Now I am working at an open office and due to noise and constantly interacting with people I am way too exhausted in the evening to do anything. I just want to be alone in peace. The result is that my social life has almost stopped and I feel quite lonely.

kakarot 9y ago

That's just your personal experience and not an objective one. I'm lonely for severe lack of being around humans all the time, and when I am around humans they're often distracted by some form of entertainment. There's nothing that indicates either of our experiences can be generalized.

maxxxxx 9y ago
"There's nothing that indicates either of our experiences can be generalized." Please don't try to generalize. We all have very different needs and what works for one person doesn't work for the other. Acknowledgement and respect of this would be true diversity and inclusion.
- kakarot 9y ago
  I'm confused by what you mean. I was arguing against generalization in this case?
  - maxxxxx 9y ago
    It sounded to me like you would like to find a generalization. Sorry if I misunderstood you. The tendency to generalize things is one of my pet peeves around health issues, physical or mental. Some things work for everybody but a lot of things may work for one person, but not the other.

Jemmeh 9y ago

You could try using a productivity app like StayFocusd[1] to set it up so you can only access the website once or twice a day. If it's truly an emergency people will call you. You can also try logging out of Facebook/Email and only checking it once a day. Or just plain making time to turn off your phone for a few hours on the weekend. [1] https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stayfocusd/laankejkbhbdhmipfmgcngdelahlfoji?hl=en https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stayfocusd/laankej...

Aaargh20318 9y ago
The problem is more that I am forced to sit in an office all day. As I said I already minimise social contact, so I don't have a Facebook account (never had one) and while I do have a Twitter account I don't use it to follow or interact with anyone I know personally, mainly following some companies. Regardless, I am forced to interact with people in a social setting way too much. For example, my brother had his birthday 2 weeks ago and I have to go there for a couple of hours. Next week is my mothers birthday and she wants to take us to a restaurant, I really don't want to be in a restaurant surrounded by humans, it's just too much. I've been dreading it for weeks and can't wait for it to be over. Unfortunately, every time one of those events is finally over, another one presents itself. If I ever won the lottery, I would buy a cabin somewhere in the middle of nowhere and that would be the last any human would have seen of me.
- Jemmeh 9y ago
  Ah. You had mentioned social media and IM so I figured you'd be using them. Look for remote work and make your cabin dreams come true? You still have to interact with people, but a lot less?

adamnemecek 9y ago

You can be lonely while being surrounded by people. It's that feeling of alienation that you feel when dealing with people who idk, you are forced to deal with but have nothing in common with. It's all the background noise of living in a large city.

placebo 9y ago

it's not about the number of people you are surrounded by but the depth and nature of relationship with them. Wasting energy showing off one's own conformity and following other people's conformity to society's current trend for what makes you a valuable person is bound to eventually make you crazy. I figure that If you have the bare necessities covered (roof over your head, enough income for surviving) then you're already in a good position to reassess and build your happiness on foundations which are more solid than how many likes you receive on social media.