4 ms·

Sometimes I feel like social media actually makes us more lonely and disconnected from others.

grenoire 9y ago
You're not alone. In that thought.
yohann305 9y ago
This phenomenom has a name: it's called: The "social network paradox". (social networks are anti-social) TC wrote a whole article about it: https://techcrunch.com/2011/08/28/the-social-network-paradox/ https://techcrunch.com/2011/08/28/the-social-network-paradox...
- rdschouw 9y ago
  From the article: "Therein lies the paradox of the social network that no one wants to admit: as the size of the network increases, our ability to be social decreases." For this reason I've a tiny community of close friends and family on Path (remember that) where we socialize. The slogan is "what's on Path stays on Path". It really works well, it's like Facebook in the early days.
overcast 9y ago
It's not a feeling, it's a fact. We've created an entire generation of socially inept and depressed, due to only seeing the world through curated media. Tons of news coverage on this lately.
colmvp 9y ago
It's one of the reasons why I stopped logging into Facebook and Instagram a year ago. I realized I wasn't actually feeling better having used it and that the friends I truly cared about kept in touch via instant messaging / email.
flamedoge 9y ago
When you take away the effort to meet people, you naturally put in less to interactions
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
marnett 9y ago
It is. Get off of it. Ask cashiers how they are doing before they talk to you. Smile at strangers. Make small talk when standing around. Eventually you will find someone who is not indoctrinated into these isolation chambers tossed at us by corporations profiting off of our attention. When you do find someone on the same wavelength (perhaps it might be me!) you can enjoy, even if briefly, a real human interaction - eye contact, smiling, and general positivity in this increasingly more digitized, isolated world. Write letters to your loved ones. Ask friends out to get coffee or dinner to talk about life. The world needs more ludd-lights (my term for luddites, but not so extreme) now more than ever.
- yelloweyes 9y ago
  If you don't fear being looked at like you have a third eye or people thinking you are a weirdo, then by all means do this.
  - marnett 9y ago
    While you are absolutely correct that people will think you are weird - what does it matter? Having small talk with someone in line at the grocery store is not to create a lifelong friend (although that really is a potential), it is to spread social kindness and communal feeling. The upside, real interaction with individuals who value it, heavily outweighs the downside, a stranger thinking you are weird (you need not do more than dress 'out of style' for this to be the case, really). My experience is largely against what you describe, however. At least in the major city I live, I have literally been thanked, with a genuine smile - one of those real smiles that begins in the eyes - and gratitude, by cashiers when I ask, before they speak to me, how they themselves are doing. Literally countless times. I see these people quite often, as they work at places I frequent. They remember me and we, over time, learn more about one another. May aim was not to be their friend, or even acquaintance, just to build a sense of community. Small talk is the fastest way I've bootstrapped myself into outrageously diverse social circles. Plenty of encounters with closed off people uninterested in me? Yes. Plenty of encounters that went well, spread some smiles, with people I've never seen again? Yes. Plenty of people I have sustained contact with, who are now close friends of mine? Not plenty, but a handful that made all the other encounters worth it. And regardless, what is the alternative? I have to find my friends, acquaintances, strangers interested in similar things, love interests, and mating partners online? No thanks, call me a weirdo please.
joslin01 9y ago
Yes it does, I have a comment on that very thing and how it relates to the drug epidemic [here](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16449876 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16449876) you might be interested in.

You're not alone. In that thought.

This phenomenom has a name: it's called: The "social network paradox". (social networks are anti-social) TC wrote a whole article about it: https://techcrunch.com/2011/08/28/the-social-network-paradox/ https://techcrunch.com/2011/08/28/the-social-network-paradox...

rdschouw 9y ago
From the article: "Therein lies the paradox of the social network that no one wants to admit: as the size of the network increases, our ability to be social decreases." For this reason I've a tiny community of close friends and family on Path (remember that) where we socialize. The slogan is "what's on Path stays on Path". It really works well, it's like Facebook in the early days.

overcast 9y ago

It's not a feeling, it's a fact. We've created an entire generation of socially inept and depressed, due to only seeing the world through curated media. Tons of news coverage on this lately.

colmvp 9y ago

It's one of the reasons why I stopped logging into Facebook and Instagram a year ago. I realized I wasn't actually feeling better having used it and that the friends I truly cared about kept in touch via instant messaging / email.

flamedoge 9y ago

When you take away the effort to meet people, you naturally put in less to interactions

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

marnett 9y ago

It is. Get off of it. Ask cashiers how they are doing before they talk to you. Smile at strangers. Make small talk when standing around. Eventually you will find someone who is not indoctrinated into these isolation chambers tossed at us by corporations profiting off of our attention. When you do find someone on the same wavelength (perhaps it might be me!) you can enjoy, even if briefly, a real human interaction - eye contact, smiling, and general positivity in this increasingly more digitized, isolated world. Write letters to your loved ones. Ask friends out to get coffee or dinner to talk about life. The world needs more ludd-lights (my term for luddites, but not so extreme) now more than ever.

yelloweyes 9y ago
If you don't fear being looked at like you have a third eye or people thinking you are a weirdo, then by all means do this.
- marnett 9y ago
  While you are absolutely correct that people will think you are weird - what does it matter? Having small talk with someone in line at the grocery store is not to create a lifelong friend (although that really is a potential), it is to spread social kindness and communal feeling. The upside, real interaction with individuals who value it, heavily outweighs the downside, a stranger thinking you are weird (you need not do more than dress 'out of style' for this to be the case, really). My experience is largely against what you describe, however. At least in the major city I live, I have literally been thanked, with a genuine smile - one of those real smiles that begins in the eyes - and gratitude, by cashiers when I ask, before they speak to me, how they themselves are doing. Literally countless times. I see these people quite often, as they work at places I frequent. They remember me and we, over time, learn more about one another. May aim was not to be their friend, or even acquaintance, just to build a sense of community. Small talk is the fastest way I've bootstrapped myself into outrageously diverse social circles. Plenty of encounters with closed off people uninterested in me? Yes. Plenty of encounters that went well, spread some smiles, with people I've never seen again? Yes. Plenty of people I have sustained contact with, who are now close friends of mine? Not plenty, but a handful that made all the other encounters worth it. And regardless, what is the alternative? I have to find my friends, acquaintances, strangers interested in similar things, love interests, and mating partners online? No thanks, call me a weirdo please.

joslin01 9y ago

Yes it does, I have a comment on that very thing and how it relates to the drug epidemic [here](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16449876 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16449876) you might be interested in.