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I think it’s one of those things that’s difficult to understand until you actually have them. I don’t think I could have conceived of the joy and happiness I wo

I think it’s one of those things that’s difficult to understand until you actually have them. I don’t think I could have conceived of the joy and happiness I would experience having a child before actually having them. I’ve got a 9 mo old, and planning to have a couple more. It’s a hard to explain feeling of fulfillment and completeness, except one where I didn’t realize something was missing until I actually had them. That said I look back to the time when it was just me and my wife and really enjoy those memories too, but those have their place, time and duration and when you have kids you realize that they are something with their own relish that you can enjoy too. I’m also somewhat superstitious/quasi hippy so I believe kids bring their own karma and destiny into the worlds, which, when interacting with your own life can change it for the better or worse. Not necessarily a reason to have them per se but an observation nonetheless. Overall it’s been an amazing experience. I love coming home to see my little guy, and make him smile which makes me smile in turn. They are amazing little AI machines. And you can’t help thinking And helping them become whatever they are meant to become in their fullest actualization.

noobhacker 9y ago
Is there any way you can think of to get a proxy for that feeling without actually having kid? I want to gather more data on whether I want to be a parent, and yet all parents tell me "you won't know until you try it." What if I try it and don't enjoy being a parent? The cost of a child being stuck with an unhappy parent is too much to risk it.
- zornthewise 9y ago
  A very approximate proxy might be pets.
- gamechangr 9y ago
  That question shows how far away you are from understanding it. There is in fact - no other way. It would prove much harder than you think. It's like describing a color to someone without using the name of the color or pointing to it. Or since you presumably don't have children, it's like trying to describe a color that doesn't exist. Don't believe the whole dog/cat comparison. That's totally broken.
  - noobhacker 9y ago
    If it's impossible to understand, would it be reasonable to think that it's irresponsible to become a parent? How come we make so many other career and financial decisions with much thought and data, and yet the decision to take on one's biggest responsibility can be made without understanding it at all?
- uptownfunk 9y ago
  I’ll be honest, my wife stays at home and is fully content being the best mom she can be. Others likely have it different.. Imagine something like cute little pure innocence machines radiating pure love for you selflessly with little to no expectation in return and doin funny stuff to make you laugh.

noobhacker 9y ago

Is there any way you can think of to get a proxy for that feeling without actually having kid? I want to gather more data on whether I want to be a parent, and yet all parents tell me "you won't know until you try it." What if I try it and don't enjoy being a parent? The cost of a child being stuck with an unhappy parent is too much to risk it.

zornthewise 9y ago
A very approximate proxy might be pets.
gamechangr 9y ago
That question shows how far away you are from understanding it. There is in fact - no other way. It would prove much harder than you think. It's like describing a color to someone without using the name of the color or pointing to it. Or since you presumably don't have children, it's like trying to describe a color that doesn't exist. Don't believe the whole dog/cat comparison. That's totally broken.
- noobhacker 9y ago
  If it's impossible to understand, would it be reasonable to think that it's irresponsible to become a parent? How come we make so many other career and financial decisions with much thought and data, and yet the decision to take on one's biggest responsibility can be made without understanding it at all?
uptownfunk 9y ago
I’ll be honest, my wife stays at home and is fully content being the best mom she can be. Others likely have it different.. Imagine something like cute little pure innocence machines radiating pure love for you selflessly with little to no expectation in return and doin funny stuff to make you laugh.