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Does it matter to a woman whether their harasser is a "real" bad guy or they're just accidentally doing a good job at playing one? The idea that us 'good' men

Does it matter to a woman whether their harasser is a "real" bad guy or they're just accidentally doing a good job at playing one? The idea that us 'good' men can have a bad day, misstep, or misinterpret things is definitely true, but the following idea that it some how disqualifies the action as harassment is very much not. If you don't want to be put in a bucket with Harvey Weinstein, then you need to realize that everyone has the capability to be the villain sometimes, and if you've found yourself toeing that line, you need to strongly consider what brought you there and you need to make amends in the right way.

cyanexttuesday 9y ago
So you want blame all men for what the authors even noted is a small few ?
- newfoundglory 9y ago
  That's not how I read the comment and in fact seems almost unrelated.
- eropple 9y ago
  You need not abuse women to bear some responsibility for the culture where it's tacitly okay to do so. #MeToo was nothing new; these problems were obvious to me as far back as my first job and while I've done what I've been able to do when it's arisen it has certainly not been an effort about which I have seen more than token work from the male-dominated, male-directed structures of power in tech and elsewhere. Doing nothing makes you complicit; to not be complicit, you need to do some work. But, then, your username has an obvious allusion in it that made me look at your posting history--and suddenly I understand what you are trying to project when you Just Ask Questions on this one.
ethbro 9y ago
I believe parent comment's point was that there's a difference between "Every man in comparch (or insert field here) is Harvey Weinstein" and "x% of men in comparch are y% of Harvey Weinstein" realities. With substantially different suggestions on how to make things better for each. (Respectively, 'murder all the men' and 'be aware of and active against misogyny and sexism around you')

cyanexttuesday 9y ago

So you want blame all men for what the authors even noted is a small few ?

newfoundglory 9y ago
That's not how I read the comment and in fact seems almost unrelated.
eropple 9y ago
You need not abuse women to bear some responsibility for the culture where it's tacitly okay to do so. #MeToo was nothing new; these problems were obvious to me as far back as my first job and while I've done what I've been able to do when it's arisen it has certainly not been an effort about which I have seen more than token work from the male-dominated, male-directed structures of power in tech and elsewhere. Doing nothing makes you complicit; to not be complicit, you need to do some work. But, then, your username has an obvious allusion in it that made me look at your posting history--and suddenly I understand what you are trying to project when you Just Ask Questions on this one.

ethbro 9y ago

I believe parent comment's point was that there's a difference between "Every man in comparch (or insert field here) is Harvey Weinstein" and "x% of men in comparch are y% of Harvey Weinstein" realities. With substantially different suggestions on how to make things better for each. (Respectively, 'murder all the men' and 'be aware of and active against misogyny and sexism around you')