5 ms·

I am male, but I can totally relate. I was diagnosed with (relatively mild) autism spectrum disorder last year at the age of 37. I kind of suspected for a long

by krylon 9y ago

I am male, but I can totally relate. I was diagnosed with (relatively mild) autism spectrum disorder last year at the age of 37. I kind of suspected for a long time, but somehow several psychiatrists and psychologists managed to miss it. I wish I had gotten that diagnosis earlier, because it makes it a lot easier to explain to people how I am different. I am not sure if I would call it covering it up, but a lot of my social skills are the result of a very conscious cognitive learning process. By now it is fairly automatic, but on a not-so-good day I tend to avoid eye contact and communication in general. Writing, strangely is much, much easier. On the upside, I managed to - partly - turn this to my advantage by making a point of being explicitly polite to people.

Aaargh20318 9y ago
I'm very similar to you, got diagnosed early 30's, now 38. Still haven't gotten the hang of the eye-contact thing, I know I basically avoid eye-contact, it's not a conscious thing. I have to force myself to make eye contact and always feels weird to do. As far as I understand the lack of eye contact is an issue for allistic people so I try to remember, but I usually fail.
- krylon 9y ago
  It might seem somewhat ironic for a borderline-autist, but I find it kind of comforting that I am not the only one with this condition. To me, eye contact gets harder if I have to focus. Greeting people or answering simple tech-support questions is not a big deal, but when I have to explain - or listen to! - something moderately complex, eye contact becomes difficult. I suspect the phenomenon is related to the Clippy-disaster with MS Office; recognizing faces takes a lot of brain power, and the human brain allocates a significant chunk to that specific task (at least that is what a neurologist once told me). Somebody wrote a Master's thesis or Ph.D. thesis in psychology about why Clippy was hated so much, and it was basically because face-like things at the margin of our field of vision take up a lot of "bandwidth" in the brain and thus distract from other things.
Cthulhu_ 9y ago
I think knowing the symptoms of autism and such can help you explain at least to yourself how you're different; I think that peace of mind and acceptance is the most important. I'm fairly sure I'm somewhere on the spectrum too, but it's mild and I'm managing fine. I'm afraid I'd turn it into a victim complex if I were to get a diagnosis.
- krylon 9y ago
  > I'm fairly sure I'm somewhere on the spectrum too, but it's mild and I'm managing fine I am happy for you, then. As long as it does not make you unhappy, there is no need to put a label on it. > I'm afraid I'd turn it into a victim complex if I were to get a diagnosis. To me, it was bit of a relief, actually. It means that - to a degree - I can be more comfortable with who I am rather than try to be somebody I am not. OTOH, I have been suffering from a recurring depression that I now suspect is intimately intertwined with my condition.
cbhl 9y ago
I have the label of autism, but I struggle to communicate exactly what (if any) accommodations I could be asking for at work. Are there any resources you've found useful for this?
- krylon 9y ago
  My major problem in the workplace is my recurring depression. Last year my boss suggested I reduce my workload and go from a 40 hour week to a 30 hour week (with a proportionate pay cut). That has been a big, positive change for me. I kind of miss the money, but all in all, I think it was worth it. I am not sure that is a helpful answer, though. :(

by krylon 9y ago

Aaargh20318 9y ago

I'm very similar to you, got diagnosed early 30's, now 38. Still haven't gotten the hang of the eye-contact thing, I know I basically avoid eye-contact, it's not a conscious thing. I have to force myself to make eye contact and always feels weird to do. As far as I understand the lack of eye contact is an issue for allistic people so I try to remember, but I usually fail.

krylon 9y ago
It might seem somewhat ironic for a borderline-autist, but I find it kind of comforting that I am not the only one with this condition. To me, eye contact gets harder if I have to focus. Greeting people or answering simple tech-support questions is not a big deal, but when I have to explain - or listen to! - something moderately complex, eye contact becomes difficult. I suspect the phenomenon is related to the Clippy-disaster with MS Office; recognizing faces takes a lot of brain power, and the human brain allocates a significant chunk to that specific task (at least that is what a neurologist once told me). Somebody wrote a Master's thesis or Ph.D. thesis in psychology about why Clippy was hated so much, and it was basically because face-like things at the margin of our field of vision take up a lot of "bandwidth" in the brain and thus distract from other things.

Cthulhu_ 9y ago

I think knowing the symptoms of autism and such can help you explain at least to yourself how you're different; I think that peace of mind and acceptance is the most important. I'm fairly sure I'm somewhere on the spectrum too, but it's mild and I'm managing fine. I'm afraid I'd turn it into a victim complex if I were to get a diagnosis.

krylon 9y ago
> I'm fairly sure I'm somewhere on the spectrum too, but it's mild and I'm managing fine I am happy for you, then. As long as it does not make you unhappy, there is no need to put a label on it. > I'm afraid I'd turn it into a victim complex if I were to get a diagnosis. To me, it was bit of a relief, actually. It means that - to a degree - I can be more comfortable with who I am rather than try to be somebody I am not. OTOH, I have been suffering from a recurring depression that I now suspect is intimately intertwined with my condition.

cbhl 9y ago

I have the label of autism, but I struggle to communicate exactly what (if any) accommodations I could be asking for at work. Are there any resources you've found useful for this?

krylon 9y ago
My major problem in the workplace is my recurring depression. Last year my boss suggested I reduce my workload and go from a 40 hour week to a 30 hour week (with a proportionate pay cut). That has been a big, positive change for me. I kind of miss the money, but all in all, I think it was worth it. I am not sure that is a helpful answer, though. :(