I make a distinction between positive/inclusive or negative/exclusive identity. While I certainly condone the statement "I'm not a murderer", I try to define my

I make a distinction between positive/inclusive or negative/exclusive identity. While I certainly condone the statement "I'm not a murderer", I try to define myself in terms like "I value life". This gets tougher when certain positive constructs come with a lot of negative connotations. We can try to reclaim those words, emphasize that being a nerd is about devouring information and not about despising social contact, but sometimes its a lost cause and all we can do is come up with a new word. Another way of thinking of it is to be the union of identities, not the intersection. This heuristic can fail in many ways, but it's served me well so far.