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>Don't be ashamed to ask people to add you to their whatsapp group That is rude and looks desperate. If a group actually likes you, then they would invite you

>Don't be ashamed to ask people to add you to their whatsapp group That is rude and looks desperate. If a group actually likes you, then they would invite you first. As a general rule, never invite yourself to anything social. You can invite others to your place or to have dinner, but not to something else somebody already planned

matz1 9y ago
Only if you already have especially likable personality, otherwise you do have to be proactive. For me, if I waiting for people to invite me first I end up with 0 friend. It does seem rude and desperate in the beginning but I have to learn to not think it that way.
- mmierz 9y ago
  I agree. I started developing adult friendships when I decided not to worry about this and start dropping “strong hints” that I was interested in social events that I overheard people discussing. I tend to appear standoffish and several friends have told me that they initially believed that I disliked them. I have to tell people explicitly that I am interested in spending time with them to overcome this.
- heedlessly2 9y ago
  >if I waiting for people to invite me first I end up with 0 friend but then those other people are begrudgingly inviting you out of politeness since you asked, rather than being a genuine invite
  - macintux 9y ago
    It at least gives you an opportunity to get your foot in the door so next time it's a genuine invitation.
    - heedlessly2 9y ago
      if you joined their whatsapp group out of self-invite and they begrudgingly obliged, then you will see all their invites and still be self-inviting yourself to their other events unless they personally asked you
      - macintux 9y ago
        Gotcha, I'm completely oblivious to Whatsapp.
  - watwut 9y ago
    It might just be that they don't even think about you as someone who is interesting in interacting. That they basically dont register that you exists. It is not necessary that they hate you.

matz1 9y ago

Only if you already have especially likable personality, otherwise you do have to be proactive. For me, if I waiting for people to invite me first I end up with 0 friend. It does seem rude and desperate in the beginning but I have to learn to not think it that way.

mmierz 9y ago
I agree. I started developing adult friendships when I decided not to worry about this and start dropping “strong hints” that I was interested in social events that I overheard people discussing. I tend to appear standoffish and several friends have told me that they initially believed that I disliked them. I have to tell people explicitly that I am interested in spending time with them to overcome this.
heedlessly2 9y ago
>if I waiting for people to invite me first I end up with 0 friend but then those other people are begrudgingly inviting you out of politeness since you asked, rather than being a genuine invite
- macintux 9y ago
  It at least gives you an opportunity to get your foot in the door so next time it's a genuine invitation.
  - heedlessly2 9y ago
    if you joined their whatsapp group out of self-invite and they begrudgingly obliged, then you will see all their invites and still be self-inviting yourself to their other events unless they personally asked you
    - macintux 9y ago
      Gotcha, I'm completely oblivious to Whatsapp.
- watwut 9y ago
  It might just be that they don't even think about you as someone who is interesting in interacting. That they basically dont register that you exists. It is not necessary that they hate you.