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Have you considered that we may be incapable, rather than inconsiderate? Especially if it's "all the time"? Do you think that those of us without adequate exec

Have you considered that we may be incapable, rather than inconsiderate? Especially if it's "all the time"? Do you think that those of us without adequate executive function are on time for things we deem truly important? If you do, then you might want to challenge that notion, and see if that affects your viewpoint.

shaklee3 9y ago
Do you miss a lot of flights?
- Aramgutang 9y ago
  Yes. I'll quote what I wrote in a reply further below: > I've missed at least 8 flights in the past decade, have seen only the last 80-90% of many of the films I watched in the cinema, have had to stand in the back for the first act of many stage productions, etc. Seeing me walk, rather than run, through train stations and airports is a rare sight. I don't recall a single multi-day bushwalk I've been on, where I pitched my tent before sunset, or even within 2 hours after it.
  - icebraining 9y ago
    I feel your pain. A close relative has the same problem; she's only getting somewhat better now at 55+ years old. She's one of the most selfless people I know; she simply has a real problem managing her time. And that inability harms herself way more than others.
odammit 9y ago
You should get a modern phone with a calendar and alerts.
kenjackson 9y ago
Are you also incapable of telling people that you won't be on time? You seem to articulate it fine here. If you tell me that you'll pick me up at 5pm, but show up at 7pm... I'll be upset most likely. But if you tell me that you'll pick me up at 5pm, but will probably be late, maybe even hours late... I'll get it... And will adjust accordingly (most likely I'll get a ride with someone else if at all time critical).
- Aramgutang 9y ago
  Whatever time estimate I give you, I will usually be later than that. Telling you I might be hours late for a 5pm meeting will probably end in me arriving at 9pm. That's why I find it best to have a reasonable time to aim for, and the people that know me know they will need to be able to accommodate my late arrival. And every once in a while, I might even be on time, though I do consider "5 minutes late" as "on time". Yes, the people that know me are nice and patient people. That's probably a major reason why I know them in the first place.
Angostura 9y ago
Simply tell your friends “I’m afraid I can’t commit to meeting you at any time due to my inadequate executive function”. It should help them change their viewpoint.
- Aramgutang 9y ago
  I pretty much do. People can be very accommodating when they understand it isn't personal.
- JimboOmega 9y ago
  There's a lot of better things to say, for instance: "How about I meet you at your place? I often run late and would rather you weren't sitting there waiting for me" Or you could pick me up at my work; I'll already have to be dressed and out of the house since I'm at work.

shaklee3 9y ago

Do you miss a lot of flights?

Aramgutang 9y ago
Yes. I'll quote what I wrote in a reply further below: > I've missed at least 8 flights in the past decade, have seen only the last 80-90% of many of the films I watched in the cinema, have had to stand in the back for the first act of many stage productions, etc. Seeing me walk, rather than run, through train stations and airports is a rare sight. I don't recall a single multi-day bushwalk I've been on, where I pitched my tent before sunset, or even within 2 hours after it.
- icebraining 9y ago
  I feel your pain. A close relative has the same problem; she's only getting somewhat better now at 55+ years old. She's one of the most selfless people I know; she simply has a real problem managing her time. And that inability harms herself way more than others.

odammit 9y ago

You should get a modern phone with a calendar and alerts.

kenjackson 9y ago

Are you also incapable of telling people that you won't be on time? You seem to articulate it fine here. If you tell me that you'll pick me up at 5pm, but show up at 7pm... I'll be upset most likely. But if you tell me that you'll pick me up at 5pm, but will probably be late, maybe even hours late... I'll get it... And will adjust accordingly (most likely I'll get a ride with someone else if at all time critical).

Aramgutang 9y ago
Whatever time estimate I give you, I will usually be later than that. Telling you I might be hours late for a 5pm meeting will probably end in me arriving at 9pm. That's why I find it best to have a reasonable time to aim for, and the people that know me know they will need to be able to accommodate my late arrival. And every once in a while, I might even be on time, though I do consider "5 minutes late" as "on time". Yes, the people that know me are nice and patient people. That's probably a major reason why I know them in the first place.

Angostura 9y ago

Simply tell your friends “I’m afraid I can’t commit to meeting you at any time due to my inadequate executive function”. It should help them change their viewpoint.

Aramgutang 9y ago
I pretty much do. People can be very accommodating when they understand it isn't personal.
JimboOmega 9y ago
There's a lot of better things to say, for instance: "How about I meet you at your place? I often run late and would rather you weren't sitting there waiting for me" Or you could pick me up at my work; I'll already have to be dressed and out of the house since I'm at work.